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Losing Friends :(

So I kept my surgery a secret. I wasn't ashamed but I just didn't want to deal with the people that didn't understand. So many people think it's the easy way out.

Well I had a close friend confront me about my weight loss. She said she "figured" it out. I told her the truth but now she isn't talking to me and said I was a liar...along with some other hurtful things. It's been a month and she has all but written me off. I'm having a hard time shaking it off. It really upsets me. Anyone else have friends turn on you?

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You can't lose what you never had. I believe this incident located this person in your life. Obviously not in friend category. Be glad you found out. You owe nobody anything.

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Thanks, it just really gets under my skin. I think I already knew in my heart she wasn't a friend. This just confirmed it, but it still hurts.

I know it must be... But Just keep moving forward.

She was not a friend. Friends support you and respect your decisions.

What would make her think you owe her any sort of explanation about your health or weight? I suppose if she really cared and felt close to you, then it might make sense to wonder why you chose not to say anything....but given the fact that you didn't feel like you could mention it, you obviously did not really think of her in that light, anyway. You felt like you couldn't trust her, which proved to be true.

  • Author

So you lost a couple hundred pounds fast! Victory!!!

She wasn't a friend. Go out and make some real ones. :D

OMG this made me LOL!!! Thanks for that I needed it!

  • Author

What would make her think you owe her any sort of explanation about your health or weight? I suppose if she really cared and felt close to you, then it might make sense to wonder why you chose not to say anything....but given the fact that you didn't feel like you could mention it, you obviously did not really think of her in that light, anyway. You felt like you couldn't trust her, which proved to be true.

She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her, she thought we were better friends than that. You're right, I think I didn't tell her because I knew she wasn't a true friend. I just need to let it go, it's just hard. We work together and I have to see her everyday.

What would make her think you owe her any sort of explanation about your health or weight? I suppose if she really cared and felt close to you, then it might make sense to wonder why you chose not to say anything....but given the fact that you didn't feel like you could mention it, you obviously did not really think of her in that light, anyway. You felt like you couldn't trust her, which proved to be true.

She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her, she thought we were better friends than that. You're right, I think I didn't tell her because I knew she wasn't a true friend. I just need to let it go, it's just hard. We work together and I have to see her everyday.

That does make it rough. Maybe she will quit and make your life easier. If you didn't have to see her every day, it would sure make it easier to write her off - where she belongs. Her behavior is really out of line. I would just be professional toward her and let it be HER problem, because it clearly is. You need your energy to focus on your health and weight loss, not for such negativity. Leave that to her.

That does make it rough. Maybe she will quit and make your life easier. If you didn't have to see her every day, it would sure make it easier to write her off - where she belongs. Her behavior is really out of line. I would just be professional toward her and let it be HER problem, because it clearly is. You need your energy to focus on your health and weight loss, not for such negativity. Leave that to her.

She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her, she thought we were better friends than that. You're right, I think I didn't tell her because I knew she wasn't a true friend. I just need to let it go, it's just hard. We work together and I have to see her everyday.

Are you sure you were friends in the first place or just close in associations because you worked together? Answering that question may be able to help you grieve over a lost miss represented "relationship." I've always kept it in the back of my mind that the people that I work with are colleagues, nothing more and nothing less. You made the decision to better your health and life, obviously she isn't being positive or motivating. You're not benefiting from her professional or personally... keep it professional from here on out. The more personal it gets the more the struggle.

She doesn't sound like a true friend. All my friends have been very supportive even if they didn't agree with my decision.

It's times like these that you find out who your true friends really are. She is not one of them.

I am sorry you have to go through that, I know it can be hard. My 2 best friends felt like I didnt care for their opinion, in her words, "It sounds like you're telling us this just to tell us not because you want our opinion and you dont care how we feel." It made me mad that theu weren't supportive at first but come to find out they were just incredibly worried about me going to Mexico for surgery by myself. On a sad note she isnt talking to me anymore either, her loss

  • Author

I am sorry you have to go through that, I know it can be hard. My 2 best friends felt like I didnt care for their opinion, in her words, "It sounds like you're telling us this just to tell us not because you want our opinion and you dont care how we feel." It made me mad that theu weren't supportive at first but come to find out they were just incredibly worried about me going to Mexico for surgery by myself. On a sad note she isnt talking to me anymore either, her loss

I just don't understand it. I would not react or act like this, but I am a different person and everyone acts differently. It just really really sucks. I hate feeling like I'm a monster. It's horrible.

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