I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.

First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.

And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in their support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.

So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

Edited March 4, 201511 yr by Jerr_Bear

Ya know...Maybe you should confront that person (not in a threatening way, just casual conversation) and ask what exactly he/she knows about the type of surgery you had, and when they start mumbling and stammering, just say "Yeah, that's what I thought... so don't judge me or what I've done until you have educated yourself about it or walked in my shoes." Most people cannot even have an intelligent conversation about it because they don't know anything about it. They don't know that there are several different surgeries done to help aid weight loss and most importantly if someone has a high risk of morbidity and / or they can't exercise, this is the only option. If people want to say we took the easy way out, then they are uneducated as to what we have to go through or what our lives were before surgery. I'm sorry but I would have to say something to that ____wad. Can't stand people that act like they know everything but they are really stupid. I say..."Educate them!!!" LOL

I see what you are saying. If a family member or close friend had taken a similar position, then I might feel compelled to educate them. But this is just some j@ck@$$ who works in the same office as me. Not worth my time. Like I said, this is now a matter of life and death. I'd rather not spend my time trying to inform the ignorant. I guess I've learned to let stuff like that roll off my back.

Edited March 4, 201511 yr by Jerr_Bear

Exactly! My thought when I read your first post was that - you don't even know what this guy's job is at your company, so obviously he's not a close friend. People like that don't even deserve a response other than something like - "I don't recall asking for your opinion"

Well he can just SUCK IT! Moving on....

I kill people with kindness,humor and sarcasm. I would have said, "yea, it is the easy way out of my fatness and into sexy"....then smile and walk away!

So what if it's easy??? The fact is it works....it did something I could not have done on my own. Believe me, I've tried.

I am so glad I told no one...I was once fat, and now I'm not.

To me, that's all that matters.

Simple. End of story.

BTW, me loosing 100+ lbs id old news, and no one even cares any more....except me and my family.

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.

First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.

And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in their support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.

So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

You could tell whomever to shut the hell up or better yet, challenge them. Write out what you eat in a day, give them a list of your Vitamins and your exerciser schedule. Have them completely emulate your life for one week and report back to you how "easy" it is. Even a healthy person would be challenged by how exhausting it is to have to watch everything, count everything, manage everything we need to be mindful of every day. They will soon learn that none of this is easy. If they don't get it after that my best guess would be that they didn't fully commit and that's not something you can help them with.

Regardless of the outcome, don't let them sidetrack you and your progress with their short shortsightedness.

I pray for strength the day some comes at me with that bull.

No, no, no. If you pray for strength then you also have to pray for bail money. Pray for patience instead.

My gut reaction to the condescension in the original post was something along the lines of, "it must be difficult wearing that cloak of condescension every day. Glad I'm not you."

I told one person....they operated and cut out 80% of my stomach.....not my brain. My brain gave me all the bad habits to make me fat.....not my stomach. @@lexie I feel your pain as I have thrown up so much over the past 4 months that I told my son that I was beginning to think that I have anorexia!! LOL

I have to disagree with all these lovely folk talking about explaining WLS to him, challenging his knowledge, educating him on your journey, etc.

WHO CARES? HE'S NOT WORTH IT. F 'EM IF THEY ARE SO CLOSE MINDED THAT THEY MAKE JUDGMENTAL STATEMENTS ABOUT ***YOUR*** HEALTH DECISIONS.

I'm still going with a friendly smile, a thank you for your (dumbass) opinion, a possible swift kick in the junk (joking!!) and walking away with the knowledge that you will be healthy and fit this time next year.

And you STILL won't be the dumbass he is.

i think you showed great composure and confidence to not put the ignorant dork in his place. I would love to have said, " look, I know you have a small penis, but dont try to overcompensate by being a dick." but yeah you cant really do that at the office. Well you could probably do it once... lol Keep at it man.

I am pre op..and I understand ay this point that this is probably going to be one of the hardest things I will ever do....but to those who think it is so easy and say dumb things.... if it was the easy way out why not take it?? If it was easy everyone would be doing it.

.

I don't know what it is......Everyone has an opinion for everything.....I find it entertaining now as at first it bothered me..Now just this past week a neighbor told me that they (neighborhood) all knew what I did and not to hide it.She said it like she was accusing me of something!.. Hide what...What I decide to do for myself. Do I tell my neighbors anything I do. No..They mean nothing to me and so they can shove it where the sun don't shine...

I did this to better my life and if it causes them issues the issues are theirs.....Personally I think she should look into the surgery herself...Just saying.....lol

So happy I did not tell anyone. sorry for your troubles. easy my asss... this is serious hard work. running until the verge of passing out, watching people eat the things you love, recording everything you eat, every pound lost is a hard earned pound.

I had to go to the unemployment office - just moved to NJ and am looking for a job. Had to tell them i couldn't do this required class yet because i had surgery scheduled. She looked at me and said what kind? I was speechless for a moment, wanted to say none of your f##ng business! I just said stomach surgery. Not only is that rude (it wasn't asked nicely) but i think illegal? Grrr

Edited March 5, 201511 yr by purrfctangel

I have a question. What if it WAS the easy way out? It isn't but what if it was? WHO CARES. What does he want you to carry a wooden cross across the public square and pay penance for you sin of being overweight? Give me an effing break. This whole notion that fat people are some sort of moral failures is so messed up. If there WAS an overnight pancea that required no surgery and no work on my part, I'd probably use that too. Why is MY BODY someone elses example for moral failing. Your health issues and decisions are none of anyone's freaking business. I think that's why people love that Biggest Loser show. they just love watching us cry, and puke, and basically get whipped and humiliated in public for just existing in these bodies. It makes me very mad.

Edited March 5, 201511 yr by Debranua