Jerr_Bear

I know BP sends a lot of patients to TJ, and I hear the doctors there are great. But has anyone had any experiences with some of the doctors in other citys in Mexico? I'm leaning more and more to the self-pay route and going way down Mexico way. I live in south Texas, and as it is, I'm only several hours from the border. It seems silly for me to travel all the way to San Diego just to go across the border there. I'd like to keep my travel expenses to a minimum. Has anyone been to any surgeons in Monterrey or along the Rio Grande Valley? I would also consider cancun. I'd appreciate any feedback. Thanks.

After 6 months of preparation, over 60 lbs lost, a sleep study that I'm pretty sure gave me pneumonia, an upper endoscopy, and thousands incurred in medical expenses, it turns out that the clinic made an oversight and bariatric surgery is excluded from my insurance. So the thing that I had been planning my whole life around for the last 6 months will not be happening. Also gone is any hope I had attached to it. I usually carry myself as a confident person, and don't like to show any signs of vulnerability, but my life has just been shaken to its very core. And all the clinic could offer was a sincere apology. They say to never attribute malice to what can be explained by incompetence. But how can I not? Maybe I'm burdened with having unreasonably high expectations of people. When they way is shown to you, and you are motivated by that hope, only to see it ripped away from you just at the moment it seems so real that you can touch it. How can one not be angry? Because a seemingly minor clerical error to them has far reaching impact on the lives of the patients and their families. How can I not take it personally? They've told me coldly that they can no longer help me. I'm sure people have gone through this, and I have been told that I wasn't covered before. But that was before I went through the whole agonizing pre operation ordeal. One that is both physically and psychologically taxing. I've talked to everyone I can, and it appears that there is no recourse for me. And I have no fight left in me. Where do I go at this point?

The scale that I use is a talking scale that announces my weight. I don't care for that feature but this was the only scale I could find at the time that supported my ample proportions. Over all, it works fine. But I dread the point where my weight locks in and it begins to mockingly announce my weight to the world. My house is a cookie cutter house with hollow core doors that amplify all sound. So if I am unable to step off the scale before it starts talking, there is no way to stop it once it starts talking. At that point, I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I don't know why all scales for me are talking. Do they think fat people can't read? WTF? So a few days ago, I decided enough was enough. I took that scale apart and cut out the speaker. Now I can weigh myself without feeling like the whole world is watching. Even after I lose all this weight, I don't think I'll ever stop thinking like a fat person.

@@Babbs I wish I read more of this on these boards. You get it.

@@LipstickLady You and I seem to be cut from the same cloth. Shame can be a great motivator.

Yeah not her business to spread. But in telling her, you kind of opened that up to discussion. I think you're being a little too sensitive. After you lose all your weight and people get used to the new you, this won't even be a thing. So I'd say just grin and bear and keep working. This too shall pass.

@@Dub I think my scale had reached skynet-like intelligence and started adding comments like, "looks like that piece of cake wasn't such a good idea after all."

Think Siri, but with more of a judgmental tone

This was trolling of the highest order. It hit all the marks, and even got some members to reveal some prejudices of their own. I'm kind of impressed, actually.

Yeah, there seems a to be a lot of that here. I don't think you're an a-hole for making that observation. That's really why I don't go to the live support groups, because that's all there is there too. It just seemed like a pity party.

I'm not in baltimore city but let me give you my approach and see if it works for you. Just attack it head on. You can't do anything about the past, but you can do everything about the future. See this opportunity for what it is. It is an opportunity to have a life beyond what you could imagine. Seeing morbidly obese on my chart was a soul crushing experience. But it wasn't something I didn't already know. Take the time you need to reflect and get the crying out of your system, because this is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. But you can do it. You've already taken that first step. So get excited, start picturing and living the change that you want to be. For me this is not just a lifestyle change. I have to change my whole attitude. In any endeavor, there will be naysayers. You don't need to change their minds, just use them as motivation. For me, nothing motivates me more than when someone says I can't or shouldn't do something. I wish you all the luck, and kick some ass.

Wow, having to stick with it for that long. I admire your tenacity. I think that attitude will serve you well going forward. Lots of luck.

I've heard that it does get better.

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing. First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal. And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in their support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does. So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

Stalls suck ass, but I've just accepted them as part of the process. I always keep in mind that you want the overall trend of your weight to be down and not up. A 2-3 week stall may seem hopeless and feel like an eternity. But if you're not gaining any weight either, I don't see it as a problem. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's a marathon not a sprint.

+1

I'll let you know when I get there.

Welcome, Mike. I'm in your shoes, 3 months preop but I have found that changing your attitude is just as important as changing your eating habits. It can be overwhelming at first, but you just have to start with the first step. There will always be people against it, I have my share in my life. But you can't do it for them, you have to do it for you. Does anyone even pay attention to the guys only tags?

NB are great shoes, but my favorite are Brooks. They are a little pricey but well worth it in my opinion. They come in extra wide width. One of their models (addiction walkers, I think) I hear are quite good. But my go to shoe for the past 5 years or so has been the brooks beast actually.

I'm sure your intentions were good, this seems like something practical. But where you went wrong was you gave it to her as a gift.

I'd say the traditional rules of - Whoever smelt it, dealt it. - Whoever denied it, supplied it. Would apply in this case. There is no need to incriminate yourself

Yes, I was fearful of that for a long time, and I've never been someone to let fear control my decisions. My love of food has always controlled me, and has caused me to fail many diets in the past. But after all my health problems in the last year, I became even more afraid dying of a heart attack before I'm 50, or losing my legs to diabetes. Like everything in life, it's a calculated risk. You just have to weight the pros and the cons. Lately the pros have been winning. WLS gives me a chance, it gives me hope that I can live a life that was always just out of reach for me. At my weight right now, if don't do something, I'm dead within 10 years. That is a serious sobering reality that I had to face. I think we're all afraid of failing to some degree, but you can turn that fear around into a motivator. Be the change that you want to happen.

When first starting out, it's kind of overwhelming it's so hard to know where to begin. I did not have a clue. I spent many a late nights trying to find out things. I had assumed I would be self pay for so long. It's amazing how many choices there are out there now.

I am so excited for you. You seem to be in the same position I am, where you just said enough is enough. I am learning it's not just about a lifestyle change, it's about an attitude change. You will do great.

Awesome, I've been doing the ocassional 5K, and it's been great. One thing I've learned is to make sure you have a really good pair of shoes that are made for your body type, stance, etc. I have also learned that this is one area where I can't afford to be cheap. Go to a specialty running store and get fitted. Even if they don't carry the shoe for you, they will usually suggest several models right for you. A good pair of shoes makes all the difference in the world. I love the brooks addiction. Pricey, but worth every penny IMO.