Jerr_Bear

After 6 months of preparation, over 60 lbs lost, a sleep study that I'm pretty sure gave me pneumonia, an upper endoscopy, and thousands incurred in medical expenses, it turns out that the clinic made an oversight and bariatric surgery is excluded from my insurance. So the thing that I had been planning my whole life around for the last 6 months will not be happening. Also gone is any hope I had attached to it. I usually carry myself as a confident person, and don't like to show any signs of vulnerability, but my life has just been shaken to its very core. And all the clinic could offer was a sincere apology. They say to never attribute malice to what can be explained by incompetence. But how can I not? Maybe I'm burdened with having unreasonably high expectations of people. When they way is shown to you, and you are motivated by that hope, only to see it ripped away from you just at the moment it seems so real that you can touch it. How can one not be angry? Because a seemingly minor clerical error to them has far reaching impact on the lives of the patients and their families. How can I not take it personally? They've told me coldly that they can no longer help me. I'm sure people have gone through this, and I have been told that I wasn't covered before. But that was before I went through the whole agonizing pre operation ordeal. One that is both physically and psychologically taxing. I've talked to everyone I can, and it appears that there is no recourse for me. And I have no fight left in me. Where do I go at this point?

@@Babbs I wish I read more of this on these boards. You get it.

@@LipstickLady You and I seem to be cut from the same cloth. Shame can be a great motivator.

Yeah not her business to spread. But in telling her, you kind of opened that up to discussion. I think you're being a little too sensitive. After you lose all your weight and people get used to the new you, this won't even be a thing. So I'd say just grin and bear and keep working. This too shall pass.

@@Dub I think my scale had reached skynet-like intelligence and started adding comments like, "looks like that piece of cake wasn't such a good idea after all."

Think Siri, but with more of a judgmental tone

This was trolling of the highest order. It hit all the marks, and even got some members to reveal some prejudices of their own. I'm kind of impressed, actually.

The scale that I use is a talking scale that announces my weight. I don't care for that feature but this was the only scale I could find at the time that supported my ample proportions. Over all, it works fine. But I dread the point where my weight locks in and it begins to mockingly announce my weight to the world. My house is a cookie cutter house with hollow core doors that amplify all sound. So if I am unable to step off the scale before it starts talking, there is no way to stop it once it starts talking. At that point, I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I don't know why all scales for me are talking. Do they think fat people can't read? WTF? So a few days ago, I decided enough was enough. I took that scale apart and cut out the speaker. Now I can weigh myself without feeling like the whole world is watching. Even after I lose all this weight, I don't think I'll ever stop thinking like a fat person.

Yeah, there seems a to be a lot of that here. I don't think you're an a-hole for making that observation. That's really why I don't go to the live support groups, because that's all there is there too. It just seemed like a pity party.

I'm not in baltimore city but let me give you my approach and see if it works for you. Just attack it head on. You can't do anything about the past, but you can do everything about the future. See this opportunity for what it is. It is an opportunity to have a life beyond what you could imagine. Seeing morbidly obese on my chart was a soul crushing experience. But it wasn't something I didn't already know. Take the time you need to reflect and get the crying out of your system, because this is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. But you can do it. You've already taken that first step. So get excited, start picturing and living the change that you want to be. For me this is not just a lifestyle change. I have to change my whole attitude. In any endeavor, there will be naysayers. You don't need to change their minds, just use them as motivation. For me, nothing motivates me more than when someone says I can't or shouldn't do something. I wish you all the luck, and kick some ass.

Wow, having to stick with it for that long. I admire your tenacity. I think that attitude will serve you well going forward. Lots of luck.

I've heard that it does get better.

Stalls suck ass, but I've just accepted them as part of the process. I always keep in mind that you want the overall trend of your weight to be down and not up. A 2-3 week stall may seem hopeless and feel like an eternity. But if you're not gaining any weight either, I don't see it as a problem. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's a marathon not a sprint.

+1

I'll let you know when I get there.