Hello there Band fans....I got banded March 28th-2007.

I told myself....Bycyling would be a very good choice. Fresh air, muscles working for the sake of "Cardio". After one week passed--in April. I purchased three new bikes for me and my two sons. I have defeated many things doing that. No more not riding with my children--we ride as a crew (family). We could not conquer the hill on my street. We used to stop 3 to 4 times before getting to the top ( I did). So now the wheels have turned. My kids ask me---"Daddy can we stop--our legs are burning". Thank God I am doing well now. Now with 21 pounds gone---but just riding bikes. I am ready for the next Journey...The 1st fill--I am looking forward to the next 4 to 6 weeks--maybe 12 or 20 pounds gone...who knows...:faint: this is how I feel on many days after my ride. Today--(8.5 miles) It was walking, riding around the fair in my town--but that is what my speedometer said when it was all over...

Good job SO!!!

Oh, brothers!!! You remember awhile back I told you my brother was losing weight and was doing it by dieting. Well, today I talked to him. He has gone from 355 to about 180. He was acting all interested in the band and I was telling him what I ate. When I told him I ate ice cream sometimes, he about had a cow. He said he wished "he" could eat ice cream. I told him I ate whatever I wanted, except for things that got stuck. He says to me, "Boy, if I had one of those, I would weigh 120 by now, that would be a piece of cake for me to do."

Let me tell you, I was stunned to the point of not being able to answer. I am hurt, as well as upset. So, he thinks he could be 120 because he thinks he works so much harder at losing weight than I do, I guess. I don't know, but man, after I got off the phone with him, I was quite frustrated with him. He thinks I have is so easy. He is mad because I can eat ice cream once in awhile. Man, he makes me feel like a piece of manure whenever I talk to him. I don't know if he knows he does it, but he does. I just had to get that off my chest, it was causing some emotional eating.

Your brother probably feels threatened by you and has to justify the way he lost weight as being the best so needs to attack the band. I have found this to be true in WW meetings too, they feel that surgery is the easy way out and that anyone can lose by counting points. And I am sure they can, but can they keep it off? That's what drove me to the band. I have proven numerous times in the past i can lose the weight, what I fail every time at is keeping it off. Also, it seems in our sibling relationships we sortta develop roles in the family and when one of the siblings changes dramatically it kindda upsets the roles and others feel threatened. I was always the fat sister, and I think my 2 sisters are getting a little nervous now. I LOVE IT!!

It's funny how those closest to us or in our karmic circle can trigger the areas in us that need healing. My one sibling can do this to me every time I talk to her. I realized I have to be in a calm place before I can talk to her or she hits all the triggers. I think he just sounds sort of envious that he can't have icecream and you can.

D- Sorry your brother upset you. You know the hard work you've put in to this. Don't let him take all those victories away from you! You have so much to be proud of and you don't have to prove or justify anything to anyone!! It's too bad the two of you can't celebrate eachother's accomplishments regardless of how you got there.

Keep your chin up!

~C

D,

Girl give me your phone number, you need a LBT Love intervention.

OH wait you did...

D.....I am so sorry for how he acts......people think we have it so easy, when actually it is allot harder than we ever thought..You know his insecurity and jealousy is screamin out here.....

You have done SOOOOOO much to be proud of...

You have taken your daughter in a healthy approach to exercise and loosing weight....you are doing all the right things and are the one who should be super duper proud here!!!!

We are all proud of you and we all love you!!!

Hang in there....get on the bike and kick some ass!!!!!

Like I said, he stinks.

It's about him not liking himself. Not about you and how you are accomplished.

Some people need to knock other people down to feel good about themselves which doesn't do anyone a whole lot of good.

You might not be able to shut him down or keep him from taking a swing at you but you can learn to duck and you can also know he is swinging at the wrong target.

I love that you answered and I love that you quit eating the junk and got on your bike. You need to be proud of yourself D. You do.

D - I am sad to hear your story about your brother's hurtful opinion. I'll only say this once: MEN! Sheesh! Not that only men say hurtful things, mind you - but they do always seem to think that whatever they've done rates a "10" on the exertion scale. My HH (handsome husband) even jokes about it, he calls me out to the garage a 1,000 times to see whatever project he's working on - never mind what I'm working on.

I don't know if this would work for you, but I'll share how I deal with a workmate who does that same kind of thing. What ever someone's done well, she's done 4x better. And whenever someone has a problem, she's had a worse one. It does grate on one's nerves. This may be mean, but I've taken up purposeful day dreaming whenever I see her mouth begin to open, I imagine that I hear her saying equally insane things, but that won't hurt my feelings (or make me feel sorry for whoever else she's one-upping). I imagine her saying ridiculous things "l am the only person on earth who recognizes that the sun rises in the west. No one else understands." "I don't believe the civil war ever occured, I think it is propaganda from the southern states to justify their accents." "I think that saggy boobs are great, the only thing better is a saggy butt." You get the idea...my only problems is stopping my train of thought when I see her lips stop moving, and not laughing. I usually close my day dream with one silent word to myself: "idiot".

I think folks who can't think before they talk are not likely to change, so I've got to change how I respond to them. This is my short term answer.

Bless you - I'll keep you in my prayers tonight. KY

D: BRAVO to you for choosing such a healthy way to deal with this incident. Venting and exercise - WOW!!! I am so impressed, rub your computer screen so maybe a bit of that healthy behavior will come my way! You go girl! BRAVO! KY

2bhealthe!!!

you are pretty awesome yourself.....excellent advice

Well..no outside riding tonight, but i rode inside on the trainer for awhile while I was getting my seat adjusted.....so i just counted the time and put 5 miles down? Who knows..I hate it not measuring the distance when it is on the trainer...

Tomorrows, I have a stinkin doctor appointment so I am taking off the whole day

I am than getting my hair highlited and meeting a new girl and another club member along with my family for a local ride in a different town.

So....hoping to get in at least 25 miles...I would like to get 50..but......???

We will see

Than, I am riding Wed and Thursday if it does not rain....and than a busy weekend with rides both days....LOOOOOVEEEEE My bike!!!!!

You know what? You all are just the medicine I needed!!

Awe, J, thanks for the phone call!!! That was super awesome that you called me!!! I had just started out for a ride and it was so cool, because I was ranting inside my head about it.

All of your advice was awesome. I know, in my heart, that he doesn't even know what he said, and if I said something to him about it, he would be dumbfounded about it. But, I really do get sick of this being taken as something that is not hard, frightening, tiring, frustrating and painful. It's like since I have this Band, then I should be at goal within a month or something. Thanks again for all your advice and thoughts!!! I have moved on now, no longer going to let him get me down.

And on a postive note, I got in 38.62 miles tonight. I guess sometimes a little frustration can be good.

You all should open up shop and be counselors!!!!! To me, of course, for free.....

Edited July 29, 200818 yr by areellady

Just to say once more how much I enjoyed reading each of your advice over again. Thanks for being there when I needed someone to lean on.

your the best D!!!!! Glad I dont live next door...we could of tore p some pavement together!!!!!

Yeah, if we lived near each other we could conquer the hills. I am going to go up and take pictures of the mountain pass we ride up. I was soooooooooooooooo beautiful last night coming down off the top.....sunset reflecting off the resevoir....it was awesome.....

I can't believe it is already getting dark sooner. It is so irritating. I want the sun to stay up until 11 pm so I can get more riding in.

And, on another note, has anyone felt not as hot this summer? I don't know if it is the weather, or if it not having an extra 100 pounds to pack around, but I am not as hot this summer. Now, I am not saying its not hot, but before, I could hardly stand to be outside and now I am outside and riding a bike. Just wondering if you all feel the same or if it is just me.

I am constantly cold. I have a space heater next to my desk that is on high right now. But yeah I know what you mean. I hated being ouside before and now it is nice.