Keeping it a secret? Anyone else

[chunckylady 1]

this is too funny... in your case, these people don't deserve your confidence... Best of luck in your journey

I've only told husband and two kids, who basically needed to know because they live with me. I haven't told my parents, haven't outright told my co-workers, my brother, etc.

My parents and brother would probably be really supportive, but I didn't want to because I felt this was my own thing and none of their business (we're a dysfunctional family, very long story). My mom has actually been asking me to get a surgery like this for some time and my brother's wife confessed to me she will be getting this surgery. So I know I'm in good company, even if they don't have a clue what I'm doing.

I forbade my husband from telling his family, and will have to Force choke him if he does :-P His father, in particular, is sexist and judgmental, and I absolutely don't feel like fielding his questions/ignorant insinuations as to Why were you so lazy and didn't just diet and exercise? and I don't want my tax dollars to pay for your $XXX procedure, damn Obamacare blah blah blah

[Yint 0]

Hi there. New to this and yes, I'd like to keep secret also. Well not from my close friends but from work. There's forms to fill out - anyone had to have doc fill out form for work? Do they have to put gastric sleeve?

[CountryGirl5584 115]

I wanted to keep it secret as a lot of people are very judgmental. However, I've gotten such great response from the people I have told that it's hard to contain myself. I want to tell it to the world, but for now those who don't know will remain in the dark.

[JWheel1989 21]

Most of my friends know that I have IBS so I just plan to tell them I'm working with a nutritionist to sort out a better diet for me, to help relieve symptoms. My parents and my siblings know about the surgery because I felt guilty not letting them know that I was having surgery, and my parents were the first to know anyway. I will say one thing though, the reaction I got from my sister was not what I was expecting! She was so kind and supportive, and all the tension I had from worrying about telling her just disappeared. Maybe if your mum knows how committed you are too it she might be different? Of course you know your mother the best lol

[mechele8 63]

I didn't tell my mother either. I mentioned it to her last year or so and she was like I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think you'll be happy with that. Now that I am actually going thru the process I have told 4 people. My best friend is coming to stay with me and that's all I need. I figure everyone knows I work out so there's no need to add any more information. ????

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

Hi there. New to this and yes, I'd like to keep secret also. Well not from my close friends but from work. There's forms to fill out - anyone had to have doc fill out form for work? Do they have to put gastric sleeve?

Hi!

I told my doctor I wanted this confidential, so when they filled out the paper there was no mention of gastric surgery at all. It was just mentioned that I would be out for a procedure and when my return date would possibly be. Good luck on your journey!

[gigim84 34]

I had a "secret lap band" in 2008 and it was REALLY hard not telling people. only my parents and husband knew of the surgery. The fact that everybody knows me for my hefty eating habits made me self conscious during holidays and dinners with friends and family. This made me try to be discrete and I would eat more than I should have with did not help me in the long run. My band slipped during my last pregnancy (less than 1 year post-op) and I've had reflux issues and weight gain. Now I weigh more than I did at 9 months pregnant and I'm preparing for a revision surgery to get the sleeve after the band comes out. I don't want to hide this surgery, I don't want to come up with excuses for not eating, not being hungry and actually even eating more than I should. Who cares what people say, EVEN IF IT YOUR MOTHER, we are adults and this is a medical decision for our health.

I have been on this major diet for a year and only lost 45 pounds my family are so rude and say things like you just don't want to work for it... I just know that my weight loss would be everyone's topic if they knew if I didn't lose fast enough that kind of thing. All that matters to me Is my mom and teen daughters knowing. They know how hard I work now and will see that I am doing my best and support me. I do wish I had your confidence tho I hate having to lie or omit to my family!

[Riz2006 242]

I wanted to keep it secret as a lot of people are very judgmental. However, I've gotten such great response from the people I have told that it's hard to contain myself. I want to tell it to the world, but for now those who don't know will remain in the dark.

Same here. My family (parents, siblings, husband, few aunts/uncles) all know and are very supportive. I've also told a few of the teachers I work with and again very supportive. It makes me happy! Once I'm done with surgery I don't think I will not tell people if they ask how I did it. I will say lots of very HARD work and WLS. I don't know if I will ever make it "facebook official" though. Lol.

[Grateful_Love 114]

My husband knows, and one friend, who is supposed to be doing it with me but gained in her supervised weigh-ins, so will def take longer/may flake on the idea all together.

Now I'm approved. I have to talk to work about time off so I can schedule and I'm going to be as vague as possible about that.

My problem is that a close friend (a bridesmaid in my wedding type close--super close) recently started a job in my office. She will see that I'm off for x amount of days and ask why and I don't know what I'll say to her, honestly.

The reason I haven't told her anything already is because one time when I was in the very beginning, I told her I had thought about surgery and she immediately shot me down and said "you don't need that, that's for people like 150 plus over weight" (which I am).

Since that encounter, I decided not to utter one single peep to her and I haven't--but now I'll have to tell her something.

Ugh.

I haven't even told my mom or my dad! Literally--just my husband and my friend (who I'm now paranoid will let it slip to some mutual friend and blahhhhhh, I hate this.)

I wish I COULD be honest with everyone. I just do not have the time, nor the energy, to defend something that I've already made my mind up about.

This should not be this hard!!

[Seahawkgirl 129]

@@Grateful_Love Do you have to have a hernia repair? That's what I am telling people. It's perfectly true, it's just not the whole story.

[thick2thin 33]

I totally understand! I'm keeping mine a secret as well. I brought the idea of weight loss surgery up to all my friends and family last year and EVERYONE was against it. They said things like "it's cheating!" "Just lose the weight with diet and exercise" "that money can go towards a really good personal trainer"

My point is, obviously, if anything else worked (and believe me, I've tried EVERYTHING! I've probably spent more money altogether over the last 8 years on different pills and programs and diets than I am on my procedure alone) then I wouldn't need weight loss surgery. Sometimes, something's, you just have to do on your own. YOU know what's best for yourself and your body. So go ahead and do what makes you happy. As far as support, site and groups like us over here will ALWAYS be here for you. I'm new to this website (I actually signed up today) but I have already gained so much knowledge about the weight loss surgery world. And so many of my doubts and fears for my upcoming gastric sleeve (February 18th) has been cleared away.

[Jenngf5 95]

I told three people. My mom as a support person, my husband cuz hell I was going in for surgery (lol) and my oldest son overheard. It isn't anyone else's business and as far as a couple close friends all they know us that I had a hiatal hernia repaired.

What ticks me off is that I've lost over thirty pounds since preop and hardly anyhow has outwardly noticed! Wtf people? I'm 30 lbs thinner ?

Hw 276

Sw 260

CW approximately: 243 (sleeved 1-19)

[Grateful_Love 114]

I do not have a hernia repair..but that's likely what I'll tell them, too. Or something along those lines

I just feel awful lying. I'm afraid it will make my recovery time longer cause karma is a bad bleotch.

[Grateful_Love 114]

I initially only read the first response from Seahawk. But you others are right.

It truly is no ones business, just mine.

I just hate that I don't feel open about it. I'm usually such a open book

[jenbaby75 283]

I am telling a few, close people, not telling some people anything, and the there are some people I am telling I have excessive ulcers. Some people won't understand, and it just isn't anyone's business, I really do not need any negativity. My parents, brothers, husband, kids, sister in law, aunt, and my 3 closest friens know.