For instance.... I have a wedding to attend tonight. My husband is in the wedding party so I have to go, there is no backing out of it. But I reallllyyyy don't want to. The last thing I want to be doing right now is putting on a dress and heels and faking it when in actually I'm miserable with myself. Not to mention, my mother in law is camera happy. She takes 45 pictures of the same thing at 90 different angles and posts EVERY SINGLE PICTURE to her Facebook. I don't want to remember this night and how I look at all.

Also, the weekend after my surgery we have my husbands army units Christmas party. Again, I don't wanna fake it. I don't want to remember looking like this.

How do I get through it.

I feel like it have so much to be excited about and look forward to but I can't enjoy anything else right now.

You've made the decision to have surgery, so you've got a plan to deal with your weight issue. I think you should try to love and accept yourself more. Don't let your feelings about your weight color your whole life. You're going to need confidence and self-love to get through this journey - why not start now?

Hold your head high and know that you've got a lot of wonderful qualities that don't have anything to do with how much you weigh.Hope you can find a way to have fun.

My best advise is....suck it up buttercup. I say that with kindness, a smile, and a internet version of a pat on the back. Your husband is in the wedding party, you gotta go and you have to be a lady- which means you smile, you be nice, and you act like you wouldn't rather be at the dentist getting a root canal than suffering through some god-awful wedding. I completely know how you feel. I avoided people for a very long time when I was fat, however I can look back at the pictures that people managed to snap of me then and be extra happy with how I look now.

Also, being able to fake it is an important part of the process when you do end up hitting your goal weight. I fake it all the time. I put on a smile, and I laugh and giggle, and I toss my hair, and I strut my cute butt around in 5inch heels and I act like I am damned awesome. On the inside I want to be at home, in my pajamas, preferably with the TV on and even though I act fabulous, on the inside I'm the girl that never feels like she's good enough, at any weight. I've noticed though the more that I fake being happy and awesome and confident, the more I find it becomes second nature and I don't feel as much like the big fraud that I know I am. Fake it til you make it honey.

Edited November 7, 201411 yr by AvaFern

@@cryssyd3 Well look at the bright side you will have Plenty of before and after pictures to show off next year!

I'm betting you're going to look lovely no matter what size you are now. There's something about getting all dressed up like that, it's hard to look bad! Every time you get dressed up to go out, try to remember that it's the last time you'll be wearing that outfit in that size - this time next year, you might just FEEL like the person you present to others

Consider it one of your food funerals.

Put your dancing shoes on and give it all you got. Go out and have a ball!!!

I do like the way I look now either but I still take pics. I have a whole album of before pics on my phone under the title Pre VSG. For me it's motivation to try my best to keep on the journey of change and it will keep me humble when I make it to goal and start REALLY thinking I'm cute LOL!

But we do these things in support of your family and hope they will support us when we need it as well. It's going to be all about you soon ????

My immediate first thought was that this is why weddings have open bars. Or at the very least beer, wine and/or a signature cocktail.

Have fun! Take an interest in some of the new people you meet and be happy for the bride and groom.

Go and have fun, eat, drink, and def take pictures so that afterwards u can look back and see the difference---my dr said to take a picture while in a door frame b4 the surgery and repeat with the same clothes at 6months and at 1 yr. I have the pics and im glad i have the b4 pics so that i could myself see this change.

I am in same place. I'm hoping my surgery will be in jan/feb and I can't help the "this will be my last holiday season fat" thoughts. I just don't want to do any of it this year. My hubby is in the military which translates to roughly 2 months of officer wife obligations. I'm going to suck it up and power through cause on the other side is surgery!! Good luck to you!!

I am in same place. I'm hoping my surgery will be in jan/feb and I can't help the "this will be my last holiday season fat" thoughts. I just don't want to do any of it this year. My hubby is in the military which translates to roughly 2 months of officer wife obligations. I'm going to suck it up and power through cause on the other side is surgery!! Good luck to you!!

Exactly. My husband is in the army and has volunteered me to help with all the holiday party things. I'm in no mood. And I'm especially in no mood to get dressed up for the party. The holiday party is the weekend after my surgery so I'm either going to be in too much pain to go or too high on painkillers to care lol.

Yep. And I don't want to buy holiday clothes for all these events because I won't be wearing them long. And you know military wives ... Dressed to the 9's at all the events.

I definitely get more excited about dressing up & going out now. But please try to remember this is your life now. Live it!! You don't want to look back & regret not being an active participant in your own life!! I use to say, I'll do this or I will do that later. You wake up & realize half your life is gone. Enjoy your life & your husband & your friends everyday!

Yep. And I don't want to buy holiday clothes for all these events because I won't be wearing them long. And you know military wives ... Dressed to the 9's at all the events.

Exactly! Such a waste of money. The dress I wore to the wedding I'm going to wear to the Christmas party also. Luckily it was on clearance. But still, money down the drain. I'm going to try to take it in after I lose weight because it is definitely a cute dress.

I understand the being "voluntold" thing. Army wife here. And i understand the not wanting to be at functions at a high weight. I was recently the Maid of Honor at my sister's wedding. Oh the pictures I wish I could burn of myself. But, I am going to view it as my "before" weight pictures and be excited at myself and my accomplishments. Those pictures will soon be a reminder of how far you've come. We can do it! Keep your chin up.