Offended?

[Corridor72 518]

So the poll that was posted yesterday about whether or not you feel offended when people call you skinny got me to thinking about something else that DOES offend me. The thought actually was triggered later when my photographer posted some pics on Facebook of me and my family. Several people have liked and commented on the pics, which is great. What bugs the crap out of me is that every time a new picture is posted of me now, someone has to respond with "You look great. How did you do it? Can you help me?" and what really gets to me is that the people who do that are usually people who would have never commented on anything I posted to my facebook page before. This also happens outside social media. People, who wouldn't speak to me before, will now walk up to me and tell me how I look so amazing and then follow it with "How did you do it?" and "Can you be my mentor?" Uhhh, NO! I don't mind people knowing that I've had WLS. It isn't something that I hide and it doesn't even bother me when a total stranger asks me how I lost my weight. It isn't the concept of people knowing how I did it that bothers me. It's the idea that these are people who either didn't speak to me at all pre-surgery or barely spoke to me and now all of a sudden they're all friendly and want to act like we're close friends so they can find out how I lost my weight and get some help for themselves. If I wasn't worthy of your friendship when I was 283 lbs then by golly, YOU are not worthy of my friendship now. Nor are you worthy of knowing how I achieved what you want. I found my way. You need to go find yours.

This is actually something that seems to happen to me on almost a daily basis. And yes, I do find it offensive.

Rant over. Thanks for reading/listening. Oh, and by the way, being called skinny does NOT offend me in the least.

Edited November 7, 2014 by countrysweet

[Bandista 7,466]

I hear you, Country Sweet. My favorite peeps are the ones who took forever to notice I was dropping weight because they were busy talking with me about what I am thinking and doing rather than how I looked. Now at 67 pounds down every one is noticing and it feels a bit awkward. Same person here, folks. As humans we all need respect and to have our dignity preserved. I try to do that with the people around me who I know are not feeling it themselves. It can be as simple as a nod in a coffee shop.

[Corridor72 518]

I don't mean for it to sound like I don't appreciate the fact that people notice my weight loss or even that I don't appreciate nice compliments, because I do. It really feels good when people that knew me and talked to me before take notice and say something nice. It's the comments from people who acted as though I was invisible when I was fat that bothers me. And you're right @@Bandista, we all need to feel valued and respected regardless of who we are, where we are, or where we came from. I used to be bad about keeping my head down and not speaking to people any more than I had to because I was so ashamed of myself and what I had become. I didn't feel worthy of any acknowledgement. It has taken me a LONG time to learn that I was always worthy and so are those around me. Like you, doesn't matter where I am, I try to make eye contact with people, smile, say hello or something. I don't want to be that person who makes someone else feel that they aren't worthy of even being spoken to. And now that I think about it, maybe that's why people think it's ok to ask me about my weight loss? I don't mind speaking to those people. What irks me is that those people who wouldn't speak to me before now want to ask about something so personal as my weight loss journey. I don't know...I'm rambling. I'll stop!lol

[rigonj 103]

I actually feel the same way. I was just saying that to my husband the other day. I feel like people are just being nosey. If you really want to know how I did it then private message me on Facebook. Ughh some people just don't get it!

[B-52 7,113]

Don't worry, it goes away and becomes old news....people begin to forget I was ever fat, and I even had to remind some people on occasion.

And the new people you meet as time goes on never knew me any other way but slim and fit....

So it's only for now, a small portion of time compared to the rest of your life....

BTW, when people would ask me "How did you do it", I would tell them truth...I eat just a portion of what I used to, no longer eat red meat, pastas, breads, Desserts, etc.I have not eaten a normal Breakfast in years, but make home made Protein smoothies and juices. I have become a real "Health Conscious Nut!" looking for the best, organic if possible, foods available. Since I eat so little, I can afford the best.

I concentrate on high Protein, nutritious foods, and PLENTY of exercise.

ALL TRUE!

[stanpry 66]

I don't understand why anyone would take offense at these comments. I love when people notice that I lost weight. I was heavy my whole life. It's great to see that people notice. I am happy to explain how I did it. Most people that inquire will not do anything for themselves to lose weight. I love how I look and the improvement in my health. Let everyone be jealous.

[blondie27 6]

I would stick to I work out and eat right.....they don't have to no u had wls

[funky_monkey800 243]

I honestly can't wait for the day when people call me "skinny" lol

[Dakota Girl 38]

Sometimes I just don't give a hoot what people think, say or do; thank you Serenity Prayer :

God grant me the

Serenity

to accept the things

I cannot change

the

Courage

to change the things

I can and the

Wisdom

to know the difference

Edited January 22, 2015 by Dakota Girl

[blondie27 6]

@dakotagirl tru thx u

[Freckles 0]

Its such a long time since I posted on here, I cant even remember just when it was. Everyone seems to be losing loads of weight, well done all of you.

Unfortunately I'm back where I started almost. I know its not an excuse but 3 years ago I developed breast cancer, and for the surgery I needed to have most of the saline taken out.

Then 2 weeks later I had further surgery to remove my Lymph Nodes under my arm.

I had given up smoking 6 months earlier, I dont know if that triggered the weight gain or not.

I also lost my Mother just before I got cancer, but not once have I wanted those nasty old ciggies.

I have had a few fills, since the surgery but I still cant get rid of the 2 stone I put on. I cant eat a great deal and I get dreadful acid reflux. It makes me wonder if my body has grown used to accepting less food and has slowed my metabolism down.

Hope this doesnt depress anyone. Keep smiling and carry on losing xxx

Edited January 23, 2015 by Freckles

[Sherrie70403 1]

Wow, you have been through alot! But, hang in there and dont give up. I know its been tough for you. Keep pushing and you will see that the weight will start dropping again. May GOD bless you and have a great day!

[Freckles 0]

Thank you Sherrie. I am trying, but you see now I get so tired all the time, I have newly developed arthritis in both hips, so cant walk very far. Just seems like doom and gloom. But on the bright side I have invested in a vibrating plate so have to make do with that.

Not sure if they help, they're sposed to tone you but you wouldnt lose weight, but would look better. Will keep on trying xx

Edited January 24, 2015 by Freckles

[Sherrie70403 1]

Ok, please keep making post so that i can follow and see how it works for you. I pray you get over all of this and get back to normal! Wishing you a powerful recovery...????

[Freckles 0]

So Sherrie enough about me, what are you doing atm?