To Spank or not to Spank

[susannah 2]

I like your system and totally agree. These parents who say spanking is wrong and will ruin the child's self esteem are full of it. Let's see where their kids end up as teens and adults.

And I think those who advocate violence against children need to take a good hard look at themselves. I won't hesitate to report it where I see it occuring also. Susannah

[gadgetlady 4]

And I think those who advocate violence against children need to take a good hard look at themselves. I won't hesitate to report it where I see it occuring also.

I agree with you. There is no excuse for violence and it should be reported. Spanking, however, isn't always violence (it can be when used in anger and when it is vengeful and degenerates into beating). Spanking can be calm and loving and a good disciplinary tool.

[K@t 38]

My mom use to spank us and hit us in anger. The last time she hit me she slapped me across the face with an open palm when I was 16. She tried to slap me again but I grabbed her wrist and that was the last time she tried it. I wish she hadn't done things like that, but I don't hold a grudge against her, and I think that I turned out just fine. When / if I have kids, I would not be against the occasional swat on the bottom if it's necessary. But there is a time and a place and like some said, as children grow, different things are appropriate like grounding etc. To each their own methods, but I for one as a teacher and tired of teaching kids who are rude and disrespectful and who's parents refuse to acknowledge that they need to teach their kids some manners. I'd like to swat a few of them across the bum myself.

[Devana 0]

Spanking can be calm and loving and a good disciplinary tool.

Calm and loving infliction of pain sounds just so bizarre to me.

[Elisabethsew 50]

There are many alternatives to spanking. I was spanked as a child (welts and bruising from a belt) and would NEVER inflict physical punishment on any child.

[gadgetlady 4]

Calm and loving infliction of pain sounds just so bizarre to me.

LOL! I can imagine it would be bizarre to anyone who experienced it being angry and out of control.

When we give our girls a spanking, we first explain to them calmly why they're getting it (sometimes we ask them what they deserve and they say they deserve a spanking). Then we have them turn around and put their hands up on a wall (so they don't instinctively try to block the spanking). We spank them, and then they turn around and we give them a hug and some loving to empathize with their pain.

We have explained to them many times why punishment is necessary. They know which types of transgressions will earn a spanking. They get it. The understand that when natural consequences aren't effected (i.e. if they fall while running around after being told not to, that's a natural consequence), parental-imposed consequences will be. The only time spanking doesn't work, at least in our family, is when it's arbitrary, inconsistent, or done in haste or anger.

Does that explain it a little better?

[MzAngel 0]

There are many alternatives to spanking. I was spanked as a child (welts and bruising from a belt) and would NEVER inflict physical punishment on any child.

There's a big diffrence between welts and bruising and a swat on the bottom which dosn't leave a mark.....

I've tried the alternatives, and still do use them, I find they work much better now that the ultimate outcome is a spank. Trying to keep a child in the naughty corner with reasoning alone dosn't always work. If that child knows that if they don't stay in that corner, then they may get a smack...... the child will generally stay in the corner.

[susannah 2]

Hey, I am very dismayed with this. What more can I say. I just think it is a very unintelligent and barbaric way to deal with a child's behaviour.

Enough said.

Susannah

[susannah 2]

LOL! I can imagine it would be bizarre to anyone who experienced it being angry and out of control.

When we give our girls a spanking, we first explain to them calmly why they're getting it (sometimes we ask them what they deserve and they say they deserve a spanking). Then we have them turn around and put their hands up on a wall (so they don't instinctively try to block the spanking). We spank them, and then they turn around and we give them a hug and some loving to empathize with their pain.

We have explained to them many times why punishment is necessary. They know which types of transgressions will earn a spanking. They get it. The understand that when natural consequences aren't effected (i.e. if they fall while running around after being told not to, that's a natural consequence), parental-imposed consequences will be. The only time spanking doesn't work, at least in our family, is when it's arbitrary, inconsistent, or done in haste or anger.

Does that explain it a little better?

This scares me quite frankly. And no it does not explain it better.

Susannah

[MzAngel 0]

Just putting this question out their, but those of us that have said we do spank have used examples on how we do this with out kids, I don't recall any examples of other methods from those that are against spanking. Is this becasue you don't have kids? I hope no one takes offese, just curious

[MzAngel 0]

Those darn smileys LOL, I meant I hope no one takes offence

[Chickie 15]

I have a 10 year old. We (DH and I) talk to him. Explain why some things are wrong/inappropriate/stupid ect. He usually gets it. We ask him to stop something, he stops.

Early on we set rules, and boundaries. If he breaks rules, he will have privileges taken from him. More often than not, we don't need to take anything away (Toys, TV, Playstation, ect) He will do what is asked of him when he is asked (stop bad behaviour, do something that is asked, help out ect) He is just a pretty good kid.

[tanderson 3]

I remember when my teachers had wooden paddles and weren't afraid to use them. Now look at the problems teachers, parents and others have to deal with.

AMEN!! Let me tell you all that I am a 7th grade teacher and if you could all witness the DAILY occurences of HORRIFIC behavior that I do, you would all be advocates of corporal punishment. Children today, for the most part, are so awful to their peers and elders that it would BLOW your mind! When I was in middle school, we did not behave in this manner. In fact, we wouldn't even fathom behaving in this manner. The one major difference I see between myself as a child and kids of today is, most parents don't spank anymore. I was spanked as a child, not "smacked" or beaten. I was spanked for misbehaving only, not mommy and daddy taking out their anger on me. After each spanking, my parents would discuss with me again why I had been punished. I can tell you that after being spanked, I did not repeat the behavior that had caused the spanking in the first place. I learned cause and effect very quickly, just like the hand on the hot stove analogy someone else used earlier. Spanking in the manner I have just described is NOT abuse and never will be. Just "talking" to your kids about their behavior and having them continue the behavior leads to the exact same kids that I teach everyday. That is abuse if you ask me.

Peace Out!

T~:hippie:

[tanderson 3]

And I think those who advocate violence against children need to take a good hard look at themselves. I won't hesitate to report it where I see it occuring also. Susannah

I could not agree more! However, there IS a difference between spanking and violence against children. LOL!

Peace Out!

T~:hippie:

[Chickie 15]

Talking to my kid works. That's where all the evidence points anyway. Every teacher my son has had raves about what a good boy he is, how well mannered, behaved, and thoughtful. And just last night I was told again how polite he is when he delivered a plate back to his Grandmothers neighbour (the neighbour had to come over to tell me how impressed he was with my son)

Talking can work. It depends on the parent, and the child. Not all un-spanked kids are thugs that will burn your house down, and steal your car.