Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My band is a big secret ... anyone else?



Recommended Posts

My surgery is scheduled for 9/29 in Mexico. My husband is coming with me and he is the only person I am telling about the surgery. It's mostly because I don't want to answer the questions - it's exhausting! I've dieted most of life and been up and down over and over. I hate that people tell me I don't look "that bad". I wear a size 12-14 for bottom and 14-16 for tops or dresses.

I'm very nervous especially since I don't have a support system. My husband isn't even in agreement -- he's going only because I'm making him go. Anyone else out there doing this alone?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife is in healthcare and was very skeptical about WLS. Not anymore. Everything is better if you know what I mean. Your hubby will love you for this in a few months.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told no one....took a weeks vacation time and had the surgery...at first everyone had many compliments and wanted to know my secret...I simply said I eat less, eat healthy, with plenty of daily Protein and Water, gave up a lot of foods, and get plenty of exercise. I would use my medical history as the motivating factor. (loose weight or die)

Now, everyone has forgotten about my weight loss...it is old news...and have become used to me being this way and take it for granted.... and new people I meet never knew me when I was fat, so I don't have to explain anything....

Some people, when I tell them I was once upon a time 100+ lbs heavier, they simply cannot believe me....

Edited by B-52

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you! I'm looking forward to the life change!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it was easier for me to tell people I had WLS because I had so many physical issues and my friends and family were so encouraging. As B-52 notes, if you are successful long enough, people embrace the new you as the 'normal' you. I've met several business associates recently who did not know me when I was obese. I like that they only know the thin me I think even more than those who knew me when and shower me with compliments. It tends to remind me of what I used to look like and I do prefer obviously what I look like now.

Once you are feeling better about yourself, you may find that you are more open about undergoing the surgery. Just do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. There is no right or wrong with this decision.

Edited by gowalking

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told everyone i know church work personal. But it is because i need help to not cheat on this crazy preop diet. That makes me accountable to a lot of people. But it sounds like u might not have such a big issue with food? ? Well goidluck just dont drink the Water? ???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the bypass and I only told my husband. I have a ton of friends and family and it's none of anyone's business what I do with my body.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told only my husband and one friend from work. Husband says he's supportive but hasn't done one thing to research the band or come to any of my dr appointments. I kind of always in life have to forge ahead on my own since I was a kid so this is no different.

Right now I have so much shame about my weight and an so afraid that I won't stick to the plan and lose nothing. I will likely tell my sister right before surgery in case I have complications but I will play it by ear.

Good luck. I agree with someone who said that as you are successful you may be more inclined to disclose it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My band is a big secret also, I feel sort of crappy lying to everyone all throughout the pre op liquid stage and now that I am post op.....I am telling people I have the flu.....hopefully I will feel better soon and be back on the social scene....even my mother doesn't know .....and she is quite a foodie, telling me what she ate everyday and asking me what I had lol.....I lied and told her what the hubby ate.....it should all be worth it in the end!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My surgery is scheduled for 10/7. I told my mom and a few friends who will be around if I need help since I'm far away from my family. Everyone thinks I have a hernia that needs to be removed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My surgery is scheduled for 10/17 and I decided before I was approved that I wasn't going to tell anyone. Only my husband knows. I don't want to hear how I shouldn't get the procedure done, it's this, it's that, I know people who......blah, blah, blah. I'm doing this for me and I don't care what anyone thinks. I'll tell my parents when I can no longer dodge the "what are you doing?" questions though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had originally planned on keeping mine a secret, at least for a little while. I ended up telling everyone though(long story as to WHY) but I was pleasantly surprised at how supportive MOST people were. My family wasn't really very supportive initially but they also didn't understand the health issues I was having as a result of my weight problem. Once I confessed all of that, they understood that it was a risk I needed to take in order to save my life and they were much more supportive after that. I tell people all the time that I've had weight loss surgery. It doesn't bother me that people know. Either way, it is YOUR decision. If you're uncomfortable with sharing that info with others, then you shouldn't tell anyone. It's an individual choice and one that only you can make for yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told everyone I'm proud of myself for wanting to change my life for the better and I need all the support I can get with this pre op diet it has been a challenge my surgery is on Monday 09/22/14 I'm excited but nervous good luck to everyone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am just going in for my consult. I have made the decision to not tell anyone either. I don't need the added pressure. My husband knows and supports me. I feel its ok to keep something so personal private. I weigh 187 pounds, 5ft 4 inches tall and have a BMI of 32. I have lost 50 pounds on my own in the past, and have regained about 30 pounds over the last three years. I am praying that the lap band will give me the extra support that I need to lose and maintain. I am nervous.. any words of advice and or encouragement prior to surgery?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My brothers are work out junkies and needless to say they look great. I on the other hand, have always had a problem with my weight. Currently I don't plan on telling them in till I have an appointment for surgery because I don't want a speech. My best friend and my mother knows and thats enough for me right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×