My mind can't decide what to do!

[Erin18 133]

I saw my surgeon in July and they do not perform Gastric Plication and he told me that he recommends Gastric Bypass. But I'M SO SCARED!!! One minute I want to do it, but then I don't want to do it because it's way more risky than the other surgeries. The main thing that scares me to death is that I will die, not if, I WILL. I'm scared I will die on the table and I don't die there, then I will die from complications down the road. I'm also scared because my insides will be re-arranged and worried about having a different inside. This is probably why we need to see a therapist before surgery, right? I have had LapBand before, but I wasn't even scared back then, I guess because it wasn't as MAJOR as Bypass.

Can you guys help me somehow? Like give me some positive feedback or something. Or some information/facts? I just really don't know what I want to do, I keep telling myself that I am going to be successfull and lose it on my own, but it's not happening. Strongly believe I can not do it on my own, I hate to have to turn to surgery. I have so much pressure on me and it's frustrating. People tell me I don't need surgery and that I can do it on my own if I put my heart into it and try harder, because they continue to tell me I am not trying hard enough. The scale never budges and if it does, it will either go up or down and then yo-yo. Which is why I got surgery in the first place. Everyone, tells me to just do it on my own bc it's safer and healthier.. BUT AHH! My mind is so confused and I can't come up with a solution!

Anybody ever have this problem?

What were or are your concerns when or if you are waiting to get surgery?

Why do I care so much about what people are telling me what to do?

STRESSFUL!

[revision in TX 38]

It IS a serious surgery and it should not be entered into lightly; but, I had a Lap-band and just wish I had never done the band and went directly to the bypass.

I DID have some of the same fears - I imagine everyone does when they are thinking about their options.

It's a personal decision, but your doctor should be able to give you a "reasonable" assurance about whether you have any co-morbidities that put you at higher risk.

I have been fortunate because I have done well, but there is no guarantee for my future either...but one of us could have a heart attack, be in a car wreck, etc....life is always a "gamble".

As someone nearly 2 years out from surgery, I am SO glad I did it, despite every fear, pain, worry or frustration!!!

I'll say a quick prayer for you to be able to come to the "right" decision for YOU!!!

Best Wishes, whichever way you go!

[Erin18 133]

Thank you so much for the reply.

I was thinking about it the other night, and saying to myself "Just do it and think of the same thing when you did get the band. I'll either die from being over weight or die trying to lose weight, either way if I don't fix it"

Been thinking about this for over a year now and I still can't decide. MEH!

I know a couple people who have had it done and had great success

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

Bypass was a no-brainer for me. It's the most proven surgery with the best long-term outcomes. I also had reflux which can be exacerbated by the sleeve, so I went with the bypass.

I researched all I could on the different surgeries and to be honest, I have a hard time understanding why the bypass is so scary. The sleeve removes a huge part of your stomach. As in, it's gone forever. The bypass reroutes your intestines but it's not like they are going to get routed the wrong way or something.

I'm having great success with the bypass, never feel hunger, satisified with very small portions and able to tolerate almost anything I eat (however, I do stay on plan so I haven't tested the pouch with cupcakes or soda or high carb foods). I feel better than I have in over 20 years and I'm SO happy I made this decision.

You have to research and figure out what's right for you, but try not to let fear be the only motivating factor. All the surgeries have risks and benefits and IMHO you should choose the surgery based on your medical conditions and what's going to give you the best chance of success, not what you're least afraid of.

Best wishes!

[Baconville 578]

My advice would be to weigh the risks in having surgery against those for not having surgery. I had RNY on 7/25/13. It is by far the best thing I have ever done for myself. When I was first seen in my clinic, I weighed 331 pounds. I had high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and horrible joint pain. If I continued on the path I was on my weight would have led to my early death and I am only 49 years old. Surgery is a very big step and the decision should be taken very seriously. However, if you needed heart surgery to save your life you probably wouldn't think twice about it. And, heart surgery would not be successful unless you were determined to make the lifestyle changes necessary to live a healthy life. RNY is not that different. YOU have to be determined to make it work, it is only a tool.

I have lost 205 pounds. For the first time in my life my BMI is normal. My bariatric doctor said that I am currently amoung the 5% healthiest Americans. I have no joint pain and I take no prescription meds. Life could not be better. For the first time I am working to maintain my weight, not lose weight.

This is a very personal decision and you have to be ready. Read, read, read! Talk to people who have been on the journey. Find a mentor. RNY can be a wonderful thing, I am living proof

Best wishes,

Carol

[Chelly 364]

One of the best gifts I ever gave myself was having bypass surgery last year.

I am healthier then I've ever been and off of 95% of my meds.

I originally was going to have the sleeve but about 3 weeks before surgery my gastric doctor told me I would be sorry because of my reflux, so with that information and the surgeon believe I would have the best results with bypass that's what I did and boy and I glad.

This decision is all yours and don't let anyone deter you from doing what you think is the best for you.

You are the one who is in charge no one else is and you are the one who has to decide so gather all the information you can and do what you feel is right for you not what is right for anyone else.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[nbateman06 12]

I'm having the same concerns, I'm scared that I'm scared that I'm going to be in that % that will experience complications. I too have thought about doing this surgery for over a year and finally just came to a conclusion that if I don't do it, my life is basically over anyway. I mean yes I would be here physically but for how long???

I want to LIVE and be healthy. Good luck to you sweetie on your decision.

[winning_by_losing 107]

I'd highly recommend doing some more research.

While I join the others above in highly recommending it and would do it again in a heartbeat, the fear you have is real and likely isn't going to be eased simply based on our experience.

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised/relieved when you look at the true numbers as far as risks go.

[jgarcia323 3]

If you do decide to go through it, make sure you are 100%. I went in thinking it was the right thing to do, but now i regret it and wish i could go back and cancel.

[Heather_8.1.14 65]

Can I ask why you regret it?

If you do decide to go through it, make sure you are 100%. I went in thinking it was the right thing to do, but now i regret it and wish i could go back and cancel.

[Beni 1,484]

Yes, please tell us why you regret it?

[boricuagirl956 6]

Hey guys! I had the same issue long time ago, I didn't know what to Choose, but I did my research about why the duodenum was so important in this RNY surgery and a doctor (pathologist) helped me understand why. Two days ago I did a quick video about why I chose RNY.

Here is the link. Is my second video and I think I'm not good at it but. You are welcome to here my side and comment if you have a different opinion.

http://youtu.be/HRObasakuik

Edited September 7, 2014 by boricuagirl956

[Gill123 1]

Hi,

I'm knew here but could relate to your post. I have not had surgery yet, still waiting for a date here in UK. But totally terrified of hospitals and surgery! My son had a horrific accident many years ago when he was 10 years old (he is now 31) and I spent months in hospital with him as he underwent one procedure after another, it took its toll on both of us but thankfully he survived.

I have chosen bypass because I'm diabetic and have fibromyalgia. It will help diabetes get under better control but won't cure the fibro in fact I've been told that it will probably make that worse to begin with so except a lot of pain after surgery due to the fibro, this hasn't helped my nerves!

I'm going to see a hypnotherapist at end of September to get some help with this fear. The dying part is a normal fear after all we are choosing this surgery to better our lives not end it! But it depends on any other health issues you have and your surgeon, have you asked him/her what percentage of patients have had complications or death with them?

All surgery comes with a risk and many surgeries have a much higher risk than the bypass. No surgeon wants to have patient death rates, it doesn't bode well for their career, so if you were a big risk they wouldn't be doing it until you had lost some weight first, maybe inserting a ballon to help you.

It's the complications that concern me, I'm already anaemic and they can't fund out why, this will get worse after surgery. The diabetes is known as the "silent killer" but the fibromyalgia affects my quality of life much more and I live with daily pain, to add to that with further complications would finish me off anyway -

It's important to focus on why you are doing or wanting this and try to stay positive, I know that's hard but if you can be positive about it, you almost always get a positive outcome.

Take care x

[Beni 1,484]

We have a lot to ponder upon.

A lot of the research I have done lately points to the fact that this is a tool not a cure. Meaning we will get a jump start on weight loss but only for a little bit (6 months according to another Bariatric doctor I saw) after that is up to you and how well you count your calories.

The human body is so adaptable and will learn to cope with the new starvation status quo after surgery

1. Metabolism will slow down

2. The 2/3 intestine remaining will become more efficient with food absorption

3. The new pouch will stretch very gradually with time if we eat too much and will hold more food

4. Hunger will cause many to regain weight because even though your pouch is small you can eat all day long if you eat slowly and take breaks. 10 little meals a day are possible. Over 1,500 calories a day is totally possible. Also, high calorie foods and drinks will still be in this world too.

In other words, it will still be a head game, just as it right now before bypass. The hope is those 6 months we will be enough time to reprogram our eating habits and reform. It kind of works like rehab, as I understand it. I don't have substance abuse but I imagine you go to rehab for a period of time to learn to cope without the substance you crave, lets say alcohol. You can't have it because it's not available at first. Same with food after bypass. The only not so little problem is you can live your live without alcohol but you can't without food. It will likely be - being an alcoholic who has to drink 3 drinks per day but no more. Are we going to be ale to stop at 3 drinks?

This is what keeps me up at night in this decision process. We may well be in a situation where this is the only choice but we need to go to battle in full knowledge of what we are dealing with, don't you think?