How do you handle the attention?

[CrazyJaney 775]

@@ready2B

Good thread. This is the one I was talking about.

[SnohoGal98296 371]

When I made the decision to have the surgery I thought I would be so embarrassed when people started noticing, I think that in the past I never wanted to admit that I was dieting because I knew I would eventually fall off of the wagon and then everyone would think I was a failure, again.

My work is a fairly a small homey place, so of course everyone knew I was taking some time off for a medical procedure. So my big secret lasted about two days, one gal admitted she assumed I was have an hysterectomy - she was so relieved when I told her it was WLS, LOL. Anyway, as I was losing in my face and upper body pretty quickly lots of folks have noticed and I have just decided that if they ask I will tell them the truth and accept their well wishes with gratitude. I haven't had any negative reactions - I had made a list in my head of the persons who I thought would be negative and I was wrong on all occasions. I accept the well wishes and the congratulations with a smile and it truly makes me feel good.

I really think that this time - with this tool - I can't fail. So I am so much more confident of the end result, the diets and gimmicks of the past seem like a young girls folly. This must be the reason that I have been able to let down my guard and accept the compliments of friends and coworkers with no difficulty. (Family has been supportive all along and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't have their support).

Edited August 24, 2014 by SnohoGal98296

[Bandista 7,466]

I'm struggling with this right now and appreciate the insights above. We live in the country, I work at home there can be a lot of time (and now change in my appearance) before I see some people. I think what I've liked best is the fact that our guy friends didn't seem to notice anything at all for ages. This told me they were not hyper-focusing on my size in the first place. The occasional compliment is nice and I have to repeat "receive graciously, receive graciously" in my head to get through it, or if it's a good friend I'll say it aloud as a joke so they know that, eek, it's a little uncomfortable for me but thank you for noticing.

It's August and we get inundated with family at this time of year. I am interested that a few old friends and cousins have not said a word even though I'm size 10 now, no Winnie-the-pooh belly anymore and also just unleashed energy wise. Try haven't seen me in a year, and what a year it's been. I am an exercise maniac now. I wear snazzier clothes and hold my head up high. But not a word. They didn't have my back before and don't have it now that I'm not the heavy one. So there's that to process, but now I don't translate my disappointment with other humans as some fault of my own. As my husband says, screw 'em. Finally I am getting to that place a but myself.

One more and I'll stop....I have an aunt who is a painter. Years ago we were looking at a portrait she did of her daughter-in-law and my spouse said, "oh you should do one of "________" (me). He was just being enthusiastic. She came up and chucked me on the throat, right at the jaw line where the extra chins were having a get-together, and said "oh I don't think she'd want me to do that now." I burst into tears. This was years ago, but now this aunt is 85 and in failing health. I've been trying to help get her out for walks at the lake (I am a walker, yippee -- can't get enough!) and she will not stop about the changes in my size. Is it because she is a painter, that she's analyzing that all the time. Or just screwed up like the rest of her sisters. Including my mother, who handed me every diet book ever and did not say a word about my weight loss until recently. And that was, "you're losing weight, good." Guess I won't be so embarrassing now!

Geez, thanks for the Sunday morning therapy, friends. I'm going on my walk.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

@@Bandista,

Family. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.