As I am going through this journey very quickly there is something I've really been thinking about.... I can totally empathize with not wanting the whole world to know what's going on. I've heard of people saying ulcer surgery, gallbladder removal, etc..... but for those that have already had the surgery how do you explain the very quick and substantial weight loss? I mean do people really believe the story. I trying to figure out how I want to handle telling people or not.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes just thinking "it's none of their business" and while I agree that it not it doesn't mean that it won't come up. I am not okay with responding to people in a rude way. So I just want to know if people bought your story, or how you handled it.

Most of my friends, co-workers and family know my full journey and are very receptive and excited for me. Who cares, right?

Edited July 17, 201412 yr by jkcm123

I have only told a select few. My mother, however, has told everyone with an ear. I guess she is excited for me

Same here, I initially told 4 people and all of them, including my mom, told everyone. I was getting texts and cards from people 10 states away wishing me luck with my upcoming surgery! That's kind of what prompted me to go ahead and be open about my surgery. No one they told seemed to care, so I just went with it.

I'm kind of annoyed with my mom right now about this subject. When I first told her that I decided to do it she was happy and she asked me if I was going to tell people. I told her that I wasn't but if someone asks me I may tell them. So what does she do? She tells me last week that she told some of her girlfriends. I'm so upset but I haven't said anything to her yet. I know I need to before she tells anyone else. I've only told my parents and two close friends. I just feel this is personal and private and it's only for me to tell people if I want to.

Edited July 17, 201412 yr by JerzyTomato74

I got the band in 2003 and didn't tell anyone except family and some close friends. Well, some of the close friends who "wouldn't tell anyone" wound up telling their husbands, who you know can't keep secrets (sorry, guys!), and would say something in front of others. There are still some of my friends who don't know. I wish I would have been open about it - how do you "confess" to someone 3,4,5,6, etc years later?

I am getting a revision to the sleeve on August 5, and this time I have decided to be open about it. I know I don't owe it to tell anyone, but I think the more we try to keep WLS a secret, the more we reinforce the shame of it.

Also, if you are basically lying to people in the gym and who struggle with weight loss as well, aren't you in a way making them feel worse about themselves? How many times have we said to ourselves, I will just eat Protein, I will just follow the diet without the surgery..... I know we are not responsible for the way anyone else feels, but I'm deciding this time to try to motivate people and not be ashamed about my life decisions.

With that being said, I am still not telling people about my "little band secret." I feel guilty now about saying I had it 11 years ago - also I don't want people to say, you had WLS and you still need another one? :/

I KNOW I totally just contradicted myself - what can I say? lol I've just done it "both ways" now and I am finding for me, the open way makes me feel better. I am also surprised at HOW MANY people tell me they have been looking into WLS as well - most people know all about the different WLS, so I know they have been researching.

The bottom line is to do what feels the best for you. I am NOT an open person, but I already feel less guilt this time about just telling people the truth and not being ashamed of it! Good luck in whatever you decide!

I totally understand where you are coming from. We all have to make the choice for ourselves whether or not to share something like this (or when). It's definitely a hard decision to make because yeah, I was one of those people out there that said to myself "Hey, "so-an-so" lost weight through hard work and determination, so I should be able to do it too". Well, that worked out pretty poorly for me because here I am, getting ready to undergo a bariatric procedure. Wow, it's just a hard question. Do you present loud and proud so as to remove the stigma of bariatric surgery, barrelling through the negative comments and remarks or do you keep it private? I wish I had the answer to that.

Someone asked me today actually and I said "oh you know, it's not rocket science, less calories in than out!". She said "ya, I know". That was it.

For me, honesty has been my policy. I tell everyone! I remember thinking back years ago when Star Jones had her weight loss surgery but wouldn't admit it...she knew she had it and everybody else did too! She just looked crazy with the "eating right and exercising" line. People who I work with, went to school with and so on know I have been big my entire life. I have absolutely zero problem telling them I had the sleeve and many ask me about the procedure. Hey...maybe I've helped someone!!

I can respect that some people are perfectly ok with everyone knowing. I'm not. If I had a hysterectomy I wouldn't be shouting it from the rooftop either. Anyone you tell should also keep it confidential unless you are ok with them telling people. Even at that, its not their business. I have told my family and a few close friends and that's it.

I have been very open about my upcoming surgery. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I am actually hoping to inspire other nurses and friends along the way. I am totally upfront, a asking for prayers and support too. All have been super supportive and understanding. The way I see it, people who care about me understand my issues. Those who might not, they really don't matter anyways. I am doing this for me!!!!

I'm pretty open about it. I'm not posting it on Facebook, but I will tell people if they ask. They way I see it, it's a measure of getting help. Can't see well? Get glasses. Can't hear well? Get a hearing aid. Can't lose weight? Get surgery.

I needed help, and I'm getting it. No need to be ashamed. I'd be more ashamed if I wasn't doing anything about it.

I have been completely open about my surgery to those that ask. I am not ashamed that I needed to take this step. No more so than when I got my thyroid removed a few years ago (I had more questions when that scar was healing than I've had about my weight loss, honestly)

But I was pretty up-front about the whole process. People that I worked closely with through my volunteer work knew long before my surgery that I was having it done (several of the other women there had also had the surgery, but long enough ago that a lot of things changed, so their questions mostly related to the process itself), and the questions now are about how I'm feeling, what I can and can't do at this stage, etc. I haven't heard a negative comment yet. I'm not saying there are none...but none that I've heard. And if someone wants to complain that I'm cheating because I had surgery...well, I have two works for them and the first one rhymes with duck I don't have time for negativity in my life. I'm making positive changes and to hell with anyone who wants to bring me down. I don't need them in my life.

I think the only negatives at all were from my bf, and that wasn't so much with regards to cheating or anything...he has a fear of doctors and hospitals, and wished that I didn't need to go to the extreme of surgery (but he understood why I was doing it and supported me whole-heartedly even with his reservations)

I'm pretty open about it. I'm not posting it on Facebook, but I will tell people if they ask. They way I see it, it's a measure of getting help. Can't see well? Get glasses. Can't hear well? Get a hearing aid. Can't lose weight? Get surgery.

I needed help, and I'm getting it. No need to be ashamed. I'd be more ashamed if I wasn't doing anything about it.

Heh...I have posted on FB...at the beginning, I had a daily progress report until I started a blog on Tumblr. Which links to FB At least two of my friends thanked me for being so open, because they've thought about surgery but were scared to proceed. I figure if I help even one person make a positive, healthy change then I'm doing good

I'm telling everyone the truth. I'm not afraid of what they might think. For me its just easier to do. I understand for others that this is a very private matter. I'm not ashamed of having the procedure. I've tried everything else and failed and I'm determined to succeed with this. The questions will come quickly and I don't want people to think I'm sick so I'm telling everyone that is interested what I'm doing. I've even posted it on Facebook. I haven't heard any negative responses yet. In fact I've had people comment on my pre-surgical weight loss. So far I've found everyone at work, home, and my friends to be accepting and supportive. Some are a little bit afraid for me but I think that goes back to the horror stories from the old days when people were dying from having weight loss surgery. The laproscopic surgery has really taken a lot of the risk out of this and significantly increased the recovery time. So I'm ready. 13 days to go.

Heh...I have posted on FB...at the beginning, I had a daily progress report until I started a blog on Tumblr. Which links to FB At least two of my friends thanked me for being so open, because they've thought about surgery but were scared to proceed. I figure if I help even one person make a positive, healthy change then I'm doing good

I haven't kept it a secret at all, and I also update on FB (occasionally) with weight loss updates. I really don't have the time or energy to waste on what people think, and for the record, I've had such positive feedback and support, it helps me stay motivated! I'm proud of my accomplishments and I want to share that with others, not hide it like I'm ashamed of what I've done! While I'm doing all the hard work, my sleeve deserves some credit, too! LOL

I've been heavy my entire life, so when I finally made the decision to get the sleeve I told everyone. I don't really care what people think! Almost everybody has been supportive, I've only gotten one negative comment before surgery "oh you should just do Isagenix", yeah ok bc I haven't already tried a million other things in the past 42 years! Lol! But even she has been supportive since the surgery. The only person I haven't told is my mother and more bc I never see her. She lives in another state and I only see her maybe once a year. I didn't want to deal with her nervousness the day I had the surgery bc I was nervous enough myself! I figure once I see her I'll tell her. Even if she gets mad I didn't tell she will get over it! I haven't posted that I have had WLS on FB, although many people on there already know but I have posted pictures. If someone asks what my secret is I will PM them and tell the truth. Bottom line is I did this for me. I am very lucky my insurance covered it bc I could never have afforded it on my own. If someone is jealous and doesn't like it, too bad, I don't much care!!

I have struggles with this topic as well, so far my husband, my inlaws and a very very close friends knows. I don't feel like anyone in my family needs to know (not even my parents) because honestly i don't feel it needs to be shared with everyone without my consent and my family LOVES to talk and not in the positive way. so the less they know the better. I'm not ashamed of having the surgery I'm just naturally a very private person and if i were closer to my family i wouldn't mind sharing my journey with them at all. I think it basically boils down to your own personal situations and feeling and what works for you. I've read some pretty amazing stories on here and feel this is a great support group, I personally am more interested in talking to people who've experienced and are going through the experience of the surgery and understand what i may be feeling than trying to explain or have a conversation with someone who hasn't.

Only a small group of people know. I think a total of six, maybe. It's very personal. The weight isn't flying off such that I look crazy. People see that I've changed my habits and that I work out. So, when I have been asked I say: I made a big decision to make better choices about taking care of my body. I don't eat fried foods, drink alcohol, consume sugars or eat large portions. That's pretty much it.

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