Ok, so I've hit the stage where people I see often can tell. Let me start with this. I am a teacher at a preschool and all of the staff I see daily know and are sweet and supportive. But I don't really feel the need to air it to all the parents in the center. I'm 65 pounds down and now have been talked to almost daily about it. Ppl being nice and asking if I've lost weight, saying I look slim, etc. It's nice hearing the feedback and I usually say a simple "thank you" but obviously with women we all want to know the weight loss secret. I hate the dreaded question "how are you doing it?" Like I said I'm not ashamed of my choice, but I chose to have the surgery to better my chances of conception as I've been trying for 4 years with no luck. I know I don't have to go into all of that but it just opens a can of worms and even just the surgery makes some ppl uncomfortable. Ok I'm rambling... I was wondering if anyone can relate and give me a few things to say. I've said "I'm just eating less and trying to be more aware of my food choices" ok guys help a girl out

My go to answer? High Protein, low carb, extra exercise and cutting out the bad things. Totally true, and who can argue with what anyone who has ever dieting knows is the "right" thing to do? The main "bad" thing I cut out? My tummy. No one needs to know that specific detail.

At first, I did not want to tell anyone but then I felt like I was lying when I said I was just eating less. I finally realized that I wasn't telling because I was ashamed of having to have the surgery and I was embarassed. Somehow it made me feel like I was weak. After I realized that, I decided that I was not going to lie about it any more because it did not make me a weak person but a smart person to take the bull by the horns and do something about the life-long weight issue that I had dealt with. Since I have been very open about it, I have gotten both negative and positive feedback but far more positive. I have also had a lot of people who wanted to know details and ended up getting the procedure for themselves. They have since thanked me for being honest and giving them that hope. All this being said, we all handle it differently and my way is not for everyone. You have to make that choice but make sure you are not holding back because of your own feelings about the surgery. CONGRATULATIONS ON THE GREAT LOSS SO FAR!!

Funny. I've never considered myself lying nor have a felt guilty about my answer. I don't expect people to tell me all the intimate details of their lives nor do I need to share mine.

To tell or not to tell! Such a personal decision.

I listen to their specific question. If they ask, "What are you doing!?" (I focus on the "are"--present tense.) So (presently)..."I [am] doing Protein as much as possible, small portions, and cutting out the stuff I shouldn't really eat too much of."

If someone specifically asks me, "Did you have WLS?" I don't like to lie, so I'd probably tell them the truth. BUT... I haven't found anyone (even of my friends) to be that direct, so they just know I lost weight since they last saw me, which (since I'd been hiding from folks due to the weight gain), has been a while. So they don't know any better, except it's been a while.

If I encouter someone I don't know who is fat/obese, and the issue of weight arises, and I mention I recently lost 'x' pounds, and I might feel that they might be considering WLS, I might tell them. But most of my friends do NOT know that I had WLS and I have no need to tell them. Even the neighbors in front of me don't know how I lost the weight, but now that winter is over and I'm wearing cool stuff, they do notice it.

No need to divulge specifics to anyone to whom you don't wish to divulge. "What are you doing to lose the weight?" You're "eating protein, doing portion control, etc." Period.

I just say that it was a lot of work, involved a lot of lifestyle changes - I eat high Protein, low fat & low carbs and I exercise A LOT. All of which is true. I feel it's my decision to tell people if I had surgery. And all those who I determined should know do know. I wouldn't necessarily tell folks if I had other surgery (like when I had my 2 breast biopsies, or when I had a tubal ligation (years ago) It's totally up to you. As time goes by you might choose to widen the circle of those who 'know' but that is up to you.

I have the same issue kinda, but with coworkers.. I'm a nurse and work with a whole lot of women. I had already lost almost 30 pounds prior to surgery, but it wasn't really enough for many people to start noticing. I haven't gone back to work yet, but I'm down almost 50 pounds total now. My scrubs are getting loose and I'm pretty sure they're going to say something after not having seen me for a month.. I don't really have any desire to tell them I had weight loss surgery. It was a hard decision for me to make and it's just not something I want to share with anyone other than a few select people. Plus, I know what they've said about some of the patients we've had that have undergone various bariatric procedures when it "apparently just didn't work or something" and all the judgment that goes along with it.. Like it wouldn't be awful enough for that to happen anyway.. then to know all your coworkers knew you had this surgery and you still failed to lose weight? No, thank you!

Luckily, there's a Meal Replacement shake fad going around on in my unit.. so my plan is to just tell them I've been drinking Protein shakes like the rest of them, eating smaller/low carb meals, and exercising. True enough. I still don't know how well that's going to work though. Especially if they prod me about what kind of surgery I had.. I don't really want to lie to anyone, but a lot of them aren't really the type to know when to just mind their own business either. So hard.. I kinda dread going back, actually.

The good thing is that we are all different and can make our own decisions about whether to tell or not. My decision is not necessarily right for anyone else, nor is anyone else's decision right for me. It is neither right or wrong but a decision you make based on your life choices and experience. It is all good!

The good thing is that we are all different and can make our own decisions about whether to tell or not. My decision is not necessarily right for anyone else, nor is anyone else's decision right for me. It is neither right or wrong but a decision you make based on your life choices and experience. It is all good!

I totally agree.

I'm 6 months out and down about 70 pounds from high weight. I've told 5 people about my surgery (my parents, husband, son and best friend). Not embarrassed about my decision, I live in a small town and don't want everyone knowing my business - I've struggled with my weight since I was 17 years old...people know my struggles.

So, I tell people, "I got some things straightened out with my doctor that have been a problem since high school. That made me feel better which led to being able to exercise more, then I really started looking at my diet. It's been a lot of hard work." The follow up question/questions is/are usually about the diet and exercise. I talk about Protein and reducing the amount of processed foods I eat. I tell them about my work-outs. That usually satisfies their curiousity.

I really thought that at some point I would start talking to people about surgery, but that's just not me. I'm a very private person and what I'm doing is working for me. I'm proud of the hard work I've done over the past 6 months.

Thanks for all of the suggestions. I work with 40 woman and I knew lying would come back on me. I tried for a while but I mean it all came out... I never miss two weeks of work so it was obvious that something was going on. I wanted it be not be on the gossip mill to long so I was pretty upfront to keep from the whispers as I hid an obvious change. Close friends know.. Facebook friends don't. But it's the parents of the kids I teach that are who I am concerned with. I am a professional yet still strive to be warm and approachable. I like the easy answers you gave and that might help me in the future.