Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Feeling Discouraged and Rejected by Family......Need Advice



Recommended Posts

I am sometimes amazed at people and how they need to share their "knowledge" with you rather then just support your decision. I have not told anyone other then my immediate family, just for that reason. People can be so condescending and even rude. My husband told the neighbor that we needed to get the yard done before I go in for surgery. The neighbor actually asked me what I was having surgery for! WOW! Kind of a personal question. I could have killed my husband for even mentioning the surgery at all. I just told the neighbor I was having gall bladder surgery. That is what I will tell anyone that asks when they wonder where I have been or why I am eating differently right after surgery, etc. I am just not comfortable telling anyone, much less everyone about the choice I have made for WLS. I need to focus on me and leave the naysayers out of this formula!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am trying NOT to tell anyone, unfortunately I had to tell the 3 people in my life that I see all the time which is my son, daughter in law, and s.o. None of them were happy or supportive. They have finally accepted it since my date is set for June 27. The Mexico thing is what they were fighting me on, but I didn't see any of them handing me the money I needed to stay in the U.S.................. I am not going to tell anyone else, ever, I don't want their judgment on me, nor do I want to hear I took the easy way out. I love my family, but they can bring you down, if allowed. Thanks for all the advice on here. One Protein shake that is really good comes from weight watchers, taste great. I haven't heard anything from my consultant, I guess it's too soon to receive information.

Anyone else going to Juarez, MX with Dr. Jose Rodriquez ? I haven't found one negative post on him, so I am happy about my decision....................

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is there a dollar range for the sleeve surgery in Mexico that anyone could share with me here on this site? Just wondering overall costs and down payment required, etc .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all,

My surgery is set and scheduled for June 16th!!! I'm going alone and I'm actually ok with that decision. It'll give me more time to just focus on me, and after the surgery I will be able to take the time to write in a journal and just try to relax before driving back home.

I have also made the decision to not tell anyone about my surgery especially people at work.

For those of you who have asked or are curious. I made a $500 down payment and the cost of my surgery is $4,000. I'm having surgery with Dr. Sergio Quinones at Santa Fe Medical Group.

Wishing you all the best of luck and I'll keep posting and updating everyone :)

Holly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ I had my quote emailed to me in the beginning. I did all of it via email to avoid that problem

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@ho11ieberry06 Congrats to you! It is something you can do on your own. I am happy you are taking the steps to do it for YOU!!! Good luck to you :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My surgery is considered a revision because I had the Lap Band a few years ago. I am going to Juarez, Mx with Dr. Rodriguez and it is costing me 8500.00, I am paying down 4000.00. It is pricey for Mexico but I will be in the hospital 3 nights. Payments are only 200.00/month.

I checked at Dr. Ariel Ortiz and I believe you could get sleeved for 4800.00, but it was in a surgery center, then out to a hotel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is there a dollar range for the sleeve surgery in Mexico that anyone could share with me here on this site? Just wondering overall costs and down payment required, etc .

I've seen prices starting at $3700 up to $8900. It depends on the surgeon. My surgeon's regular price is $4500 with a $500 deposit required to hold a surgery date. :)

C.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before having surgery, I felt it prudent not to tell many. I did not want uneducated commitary. It was scary enough to walk into the operating room just by reading the crap on this web page. Now that I am a fully fledged sleever as of yesterday. I am reconsidering telling more people. The surgery went very well. 10X better than I expected. There was nothing to be afraid of in my case. In fact, surgery is the easy part. The hard part will be the patients responcibility and following the deitay rules. But the reward is huge, better health and a longer life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

par1959,

Thanks for your post. It is good to hear it went so well, I'll take 10x better. I am worried because I usually don't handle post op pain very well, but I know it is for my health so I am going to get through it.... Thanks again for the encouragement.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing the financial info on the Mexico doctors. We finally completed all the 'hoop jumping" and submitted her paperwork to Aetna today. Wonderful if they approve and she can do the surgery in her home town. But if denied, I will support her and go to Mexico with her and be with her when she has her surgery there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So far the only people I have told are my mother (she's not happy, but she's not being negative about it either...just keeps sending me new diets to try), my husband, and my best friend. My sister, who I am very close with, is very anti-WLS so I'm not telling her until I come back. I also work for a small nonprofit, and I know I'm going to have to tell my coworkers SOMETHING, as there is no way for me to slip off for an hour, let alone two weeks, unnoticed. I mentioned to them many months ago that I was considering WLS, and the response was not positive. Throw Mexico in the mix and I anticipate someone may faint. I still haven't decided what I'm going to tell them yet.

Only my husband knew. I told people I was having hiatal hernia surgery (partly true, because the surgeon did fix it), and I did not say anything about Mexico. I'm 10 days post-op, and no one has called me on it. You would have the same incisions and post-op recovery with the hiatal hernia, so it may work as a cover story for you.

c.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is so sweet for you to be able to offer the support like this.. So many can resonate with the original poster on this thread. It is really hard for many family members who are not struggling with weight like us to understand what it means to get this surgery. Sure, we have the option to get it done here in the states also but we pay almost 2 or 3 times as much. If the extra cost can be justified sure we can also get it done here.

Baby G

I would love to help you. I had my surgery almost a year and a half ago with dr. Ponce de leon on TJ. I am still at my goal weight and feel amazing. I don't even know you but if you paid my ticket to meet you in San Diego and travel to TJ with you I would support you through the entire thing.

attachicon.gif:

attachicon.gif:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Holly I am glad you are going forward with your surgery and have a surgery date. And yes during your medical stay and afterwards it is your time to just focus on you and your well being. It's all about you now girl :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×