I am not telling anyone about my upcoming RNY next week. Only my husband and children know I am doing this and one close friend. I have realized I have an addition to sugar. My husband says I need to be open about it to help me overcome.

I thought from the beginning I didn't want to tell anyone but a few close friends and a few family. But I guess they are nosy or I am a bad liar because they keep asking what surgery I am having. I have told them I am having a hiatal hernia repaired (which I am during the roux-n-y surgery). I don't know what else to say when people keep asking me.

These are my friends and family but I am uncomfortable telling them what surgery I am having. What can I tell them to get them to quit asking questions?

I ha

<p><span style="font-family:'comic sans ms', cursive;"><span style="font-size:14px;">I thought from the beginning I didn't want to tell anyone but a few close friends and a few family. But I guess they are nosy or I am a bad liar because they keep asking what surgery I am having. I have told them I am having a hiatal hernia repaired (which I am during the roux-n-y surgery). I don't know what else to say when people keep asking me. </span></span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-family:'comic sans ms', cursive;"><span style="font-size:14px;">These are my friends and family but I am uncomfortable telling them what surgery I am having. What can I tell them to get them to quit asking questions? </span></span></p>

I have only ran into that once and I just politely smiled and told that person I was not discussing it

So I decided to chance it yesterday and tell a friend that I'm having bypass and anxiously waited for her comments. She said, "ok..." and then we started talking about a walking club we're trying to start.

Anti-climatic!

I think that now that I've officially gotten approved might tell a couple of my close friends.

My friends and coworkers were aware of the issues I was having with severe reflux and that I was seeing a surgeon. When that surgeon said they can take care of the reflux but I have to have weight loss surgery I told my friends after the appointment. They told me to get a second opinion. I did and was told the same thing and that new surgeon also told with everything going on I probably would not lose the traditional way and unless they could get me off my tons of reflux and stomach meds would continue to gain weight. He also said I needed to do something soon. I also have erosion on my esophagus and recent diagnosis of hypothyroidism.

So even those who are saying I am not big enough are saying that it is cool. I have no choice. I have to get this taken care of.

I have gain 68 pounds since July and I am continuing to gain because I am trying to stop the horrible burning pain that last 24/7 by eating or stuffing in more meds. The meds stop digestion so I absorb more. I know I eat too much. Quantity is the issue and sauces with butter. And foie gras. And lack of exercise.

I spent most of my life as a very thin person and want that back. I put my goal at a reasonable level. I did not put 115 which is my normal adult weight or 98 which was my high school weight. I put 130 as my goal. I know for a fact from the size 3 jeans I have that are my own from less than 10 years ago I am not big boned.

My husband is getting sleeved in June so we are doing this together.

A lot of people I know have done one form or other of weight loss surgery and have kept silent. You hear about it through rumors but cannot approach them on it. I know others that are curious but scared. Maybe by breaking the silence it will help people.

I am not a person who cares much what others think of what I am or am not doing. I have always gone to the beat of my own drum. If anyone has ever made fun of or said something mean about my body I have never noticed. I try to avoid negative people.

I think that everyone needs to do what is right for them. No answer is the right one here unless it is your own answer for you.

Edited April 25, 201412 yr by windfaerie

I go back and forth with telling. I can't stand people that say why don't u just workout-drives me nuts. Preparing for surgery and making this decision is tough enough, u don't need peoplextra making you feel bad about your decision.

I go back and forth with telling. I can't stand people that say why don't u just workout-drives me nuts. Preparing for surgery and making this decision is tough enough, u don't need peoplextra making you feel bad about your decision.

I go back and forth with telling. I can't stand people that say why don't u just workout-drives me nuts. Preparing for surgery and making this decision is tough enough, u don't need peoplextra making you feel bad about your decision.

Oops. Didn't mean to post that three times-adjusting to a new phone and have had a terrible time with this app

I'll tell more after surgery...i just dont want anyone to discourage me or give me second thoughts. My mind is made...my body is next.

I know there have been many opinons about this topic. My personal stand is that I am not telling anyone. I told my husband and I wanted to leave it at that. My husband said it would be best to tell our two adult kids. So, that's it. My husband and kids are the only ones who will know. I made the decision that I didn't want anyone to know because I don't want the criticism for my decision and/or the judgement and scrutiny that would come from my friends and family. I don't have anyone that would be supportive enough and not be judgemental about my decision. I also don't want all eyes on me and the contant questions - how much weight have you lost? how much weight do you want to lose? can you eat that? you don't need ot lose anymore weight, why are you doing that you just need more willpower. I'm already expecting some of this from my husband who is still not 100% onboard with my decision. So, for me, I have decided not to tell anyone outside of my iommediate family.

My family has a lot of overweight people. So, once i do start to lose the weight, i'll get questioned on what I am doing to lose weight. I won't lie but i'll chose how to answer based on what I believe to be the intent of the person asking. My personal choice. Doesn't make me right or wrong, it's just what I decided to do.

I decided to tell my coworkers because it will be hard to hide it once I start losing. The only people not supportive were the thin ones. I really debated about this Just in case I started to regain weight but maybe that will be a motivator. I just had my surgery April 15th, 2014

I had my surgery April 15 too. Congratulations on your new life!

I have only told my husband and 4 grown children, one friend and one co-worker. Now that it is closer I told my mom (wasn't sure how she would take it) and my sister n law. So far all are very supportive. I was a bit worried about work, with the pre surgery diet, and the post surgery diet, all the dr visits I have gone to, but most know I had a lap band several years ago. It is obvious it was not working, so I have told them I am having it removed, which is true, if able they will do the rny Bypass at the same time, but coworkers will think the diet is for the band removal.

I know there have been many opinons about this topic. My personal stand is that I am not telling anyone. I told my husband and I wanted to leave it at that. My husband said it would be best to tell our two adult kids. So, that's it. My husband and kids are the only ones who will know. I made the decision that I didn't want anyone to know because I don't want the criticism for my decision and/or the judgement and scrutiny that would come from my friends and family. I don't have anyone that would be supportive enough and not be judgemental about my decision. I also don't want all eyes on me and the contant questions - how much weight have you lost? how much weight do you want to lose? can you eat that? you don't need ot lose anymore weight, why are you doing that you just need more willpower. I'm already expecting some of this from my husband who is still not 100% onboard with my decision. So, for me, I have decided not to tell anyone outside of my iommediate family. My family has a lot of overweight people. So, once i do start to lose the weight, i'll get questioned on what I am doing to lose weight. I won't lie but i'll chose how to answer based on what I believe to be the intent of the person asking. My personal choice. Doesn't make me right or wrong, it's just what I decided to do.

Couldn't have said it any better! Perfectly stated.

i told no one other than my husband. my adult children do not know….my family does not know…..they would have a fit knowing i went to another country to have surgery. what they don't know won't hurt them. i did, however, leave an email with my husband for the children in case something went terribly wrong. i think that did more good for my husband because he finally heard my cries for help. this is a personal thing….some may want to tell the world. i personally do not. there is already enough attention on you while you're losing..i just don't like/need all the extra hoopla!

Mississippi Girl

Update: now that I've gotten approved,I've started to tell people closest to me. I still have a lot of family that doesn't know.

I am choosing not to tell anyone but my husband and my children. I have told one of my close friends that I was considering it and she told me all the bad things that could happen. Like her "cousins neighbor's brother" had it and died. Or I wont be able to eat because the doctor will sew it completely up because I am an organ doner and they will need my organs. I also told my mother in law that I was thinking about it and she got mad and left the room. She told me that if I had it done that I wasn't allowed in her home anymore. So I decided to not tell anyone. When the time comes, which will be in October, I am just going to tell them that I am having gallbladder surgery. Do you think that will work? I am set on my decision on going through with the surgery. I am finally calm and relaxed about my decision and I do not need any negative thoughts running through my head.

Good luck to everyone

i told my husband and that's it. my adult children would not understand and would have raised the roof at my going to Mexico. believe it or not….nobody has noticed anything. I came home and started doing all the things I've always done. No worries or problems. I suffered with a huge guilty conscience for not telling…but I'm learning to live with that.