Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Thursday is the day and my grandma is trying to talk me out of it!



Recommended Posts

Ugh! I am so super excited for my surgery Thursday! They even called to tell me my appt was pushed up an hour! This thrills me! My grandmother however is not thrilled at all. She called me to tell me how I don't need it and eat healthy and blah blah blah! I am scared and stressed as it is...as most people who be for their first time surgery! To make matters worse, I have to go spend the evening at my grandma's house because it is snowing and I need to be able to make it into work (she lives 1 block from the hospital in which I work) so I'm going to have to hear it! While I appreciate her opinion, I have no idea how to explain to her that it's not as risky as she thinks. My grandma is a very "green" person and has been this way far before I was born into her life 23 years ago. Idk how to calm her to make her stop pestering me!! I am scared enough as it is from my anxiety!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She's just uninformed and is worried about you. Explain it to her, or just tell her this is your decision and you've made up your mind...and please let's not discuss it. Don't let her get in your head...you're in a good place so stay there. Good luck on Thursday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Be honest with her. Look her in the eye and tell her I know you are scared for me because you love me. I need to do this for me and I really need your support. Stress will only make things harder for me and I truly believe it would help me to know that you will do what you can to help me. Can I count on you? How could she say no. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

grandmas mean well, as do most of the people you will encounter postOp mindlessly willing to share various stories intended to somehow make your life better.....

the notion we of the Tribe of the Morbidly Obese can change our eating behavior by the good intentions of well meaning people advising us of THEIR anxiety about OUR real lives, is not demonstrated by observation

Personally I was in such anxiety, despite a 2 year prep doing research and various medical study, that even on the bed awating transport to the operating chamber, when delayed 30 minutes, was on the verge of leaping up and fleeing.

I am glad I remained. I believe the Band saved my life, and works every day to help me be less obese than I would have been had I actually not died from the multiple co-morbidities at the time.

tell grandma how much you love her and how much her support means....and ask her to at least strive to understand the factors that led to your decision....

Cheers on your journey

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"It's not easy being green," to quote Kermit the frog. She is probably scared of hospitals and the idea of surgery and she is hyper-focusing on you. Maybe let her know this is a very simple laparoscopic surgery -- nothing like old school abdominal surgeries -- and that you will be just fine if she doesn't turn you into a bundle of nerves beforehand?

Meanwhile, good luck to you in this next 48 hours leading up to the big event. It's very exciting and you are going to do beautifully.

Best wishes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From a Grampa who is used to having his own way. I originally tried to talk my wife out of having the lapband because I really did not know much about this surgery.

Not only did she have the surgery but we had it together on the same day. As Jack said above the Lapband has given me back my life and my only regret was not having it done sooner.

You have made your decision and while you respect her opinion do what is best for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

grandmas mean well, as do most of the people you will encounter postOp mindlessly willing to share various stories intended to somehow make your life better.....

the notion we of the Tribe of the Morbidly Obese can change our eating behavior by the good intentions of well meaning people advising us of THEIR anxiety about OUR real lives, is not demonstrated by observation

Personally I was in such anxiety, despite a 2 year prep doing research and various medical study, that even on the bed awating transport to the operating chamber, when delayed 30 minutes, was on the verge of leaping up and fleeing.

I am glad I remained. I believe the Band saved my life, and works every day to help me be less obese than I would have been had I actually not died from the multiple co-morbidities at the time.

tell grandma how much you love her and how much her support means....and ask her to at least strive to understand the factors that led to your decision....

Cheers on your journey

Tribe of the Morbidly Obese...OMG that's as good as CG's foodgasm. I wish there was someway to incorporate both of those sayings in some random conversation, but unfortunately, I think not...LOL!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe hand over this thread to your grandma to read , starting with your comment? She would see how you really feel, hear what a wonderful tool the band is, and how successful we all have been. Grandma loves you, she wants the best for you, and like others she needs more information to feel comfortable with the lap band. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a Grandma.. I know I would do anything to protect my girls from harm. She surely knows you are obese but is afraid of the surgery. I know I almost backed out just from fear but so happy now that I remained steadfast instead of giving into my fears.

Tell Grandma that you are unhappy being obese and in order for you to be happy and healthy this is necessary. After living years on some kind of diet program without success I can honestly say the Lapband saved my life. Good luck honey you will do fine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wether or not Grandma wants you to do this, you MUST do what YOU want to do.

I find that a lot of us spend time worrying about what other people will think about our decisions and choices.

But guess what? No one is sitting around worrying about what you think about THEIR decisions or choices.

This is your life. You only have one. Don't pass up an opprtunity to be healthy and live a better life!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am obviously still going to have my surgery regardless. I however was just trying to NOT think about the possible risks and side effects so I don't work myself up before surgery...Grandma just brought the anxiety out in me! I have explained to her that its a tool to help me and she just thinks that I can do it on my own without the band. I explained to her that I would be eating less and of better foods and she says "why don't you just do that and NOT get the surgery?" She is very thin so she does not understand why it is not that easy! Oh well...I can't dwell on it. I know she is just worried as am I so I will just try to get through the rest of today and onto the big day tomorrow at noon!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×