female only Self image, anger, & resentment

[gowalking 10,790]

Give her some time Frank. You are literally unrecognizable and maybe that's where the problem lies. It might also be an option for you both to see a professional to discuss these issues.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Frank your health comes first. You would probably not have lived long if you remained over 400 lbs. Then she would have NO husband. Get some counseling, either with her or without. My husband was 320 lbs, 6'1" and I am thrilled he has been sleeved so I can have him live longer. He is 65 and 2 months post op. Best wishes. Keep that communication open with your wife. I know those were hurtful words to you but maybe she had no idea how it sounded to you.

[lellow 1,713]

I will admit this is something I've had a lot of years to think about. And for a lot of years I was offended that my ex found me more attractive (and was more jealous) when I was thin than when I was heavy.

But I think we judge people too harshly. Love and attraction are not always tied in. When we're single, we look initially for those who we find attractive so why wouldn't we even when we're with them long term? Love can make someone more attractive, sure, but physicality is still important. I will not lie and say that when my guy gains and gets that horrid beer belly, that I find him as attractive as when he is working out and is lean and fit. Do I love him any less? NO.

Gaining weight is no different to suddenly having a comb-over, or wearing sandals with socks, or growing a ZZ top beard. I find none of those things attractive, and it would probably make me want my guy less sexually if he did one or all of the above, but I would still love him.

And the fact that more girls pay him attention when he works out is NOT lost on me, so of course I feel more jealousy.

And in the end, he feels all those things for me too, so I know that while his love for me never ebbs, I need to own the fact that I may not be AS attractive to him if I do things or become someone he wouldn't normally find attractive. Does it mean he doesn't love me? Not at all.

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

Nice insight, lellow !

[Kitt3000 757]

Lelow, could not agree with you more! Have faith friends, if a door closes, a window opens up. Really, sometimes people and things move out of our lives to make room for the next part of our journey. Sending positive thoughts and positive energy your way!