How I cheated my band but found my way back (sorry kind of long)

[Starstruckgirl 22]

I don't know if this will make sense to anyone and I am writing it because I need to get it out of my head and into a place I can come back to. But here it goes.......I have been banded since 2008. I lost about 70lbs but I have gained my weight back. Let me clarify...it was NOT the band at fault. It was ME. I went into this thinking "oh man this is it! this is what is going to make me skinny"! Sure I would have to work at it a "little bit" but it's gonna be easy peasey! I mean the band would stop me from eating bad stuff, right?..I have read forums and sure some people needed to work at it, but not me! I knew it all, had a great mindset. I was ready!.....I did great for a little while. Measured my food, ate Proteins first followed by veggies...cut out starches, sweets and sodas and drank plenty of Water. Found my "sweet spot" and then, well then I went through some life changes and fell (easily) into old habits. Ok, if I am being honest, life changes is kind of a blanket term...so things got a little stressed, money got tight, I lost my job. "Life changes". Got tired of people in my life feeling sorry for me because I couldn't eat like I used to. "Life changes". Got tired of people looking at my food portions and having to explain why I ate a cup of food. "Life changes". But most of all eating junk was so much easier. Sliders, burgers and pizza BUT in smaller bites, bcz that's what you are supposed to do with a band, right? one thing lead to another and off the wagon I fell. Tumbled, actually. About 2010 I gave up completely. The weight came back and I blamed "Life Changes". I tried to get back on track, several times, but when I failed, I kept blaming everyone and everything around me. It's not me, it's them, those damned "life changes". But ultimately I knew it was me. No one can determine your life but you. But I am here today because I am holding myself accountable. I didn't fall off the wagon. I climbed off all by myself. See, "life changes" all the time. But you have to figure out how you are going to respond to those changes. Stuff your face, eat your emotions-like me? Make better choices than me. Be aware of yourself.... I am through with blaming everyone else for MY problems. I have seen pictures of myself then and now. I have felt the changes that a 70lb weight loss can have and what the regaining of those pounds feels like. The shortness of breath, the inability to tie my shoes, the inability to stand for long periods of time and feeling insecure when I walk into a room. This time I am involving family and friends so I have to hold myself accountable to not only me, but them too. Now, I have what I call my rally team. I call it that because I will need them to rally for me when I am running low and need that push. I have the person who stands beside me, the person who will push me and tell it like it is, the fashionista who reminds me of my physical goals, the gym rat to call me out when I am sitting on the side lines and the person going through WLS of her own to talk to. But most of all, I have me. Me who understands that while something can be eaten, it probably shouldn't be. Me who knows my struggles and doesn't want to be a failure again. The Me who can be a winner! For those who are banded, you probably have gone through this too, maybe not to the extreme that I have and for those new or considering getting the band. I offer this advise. Be ready and as mentally prepared as you can be. Know that restriction DOES NOT mean automatic restriction from certain foods, it means you will feel fuller with less food. Take time to learn your body's signal that you are full. Not your normal full (to the brim) feeling you probably get now. If you love food and eat and snack all day, you are in for a major change. Follow the rules, be strong. The band IS NOT A MIRACLE WORKER. It takes discipline and learning and patience. Yes you will see some people lose weight quickly, but don't get discouraged. Stick with it. Do you. Be conscious of your hands when they are heading to your mouth with unhealthy stuff. Be present in the journey. Don't take your band for granted like I did. It has taken me 5 years to realize I have a lapband that needs to be taken care of and it's not easy peasey...it's the hardest change I have ever had to make. I was able to quit smoking faster than learning how to eat correctly! lol! While there are some folks that have actual problems with the band, I can tell you that my band didn't fail me. I failed it. The difference in this go round is that I am taking responsibility for my actions and not blaming anyone for my mistakes. Wish me luck and I wish you good luck too! Here is to a new band aware me!

[gowalking 10,790]

It takes a strong woman to admit her self sabotage. This strength is what will make you win the battle and be a success. Very proud of you.

[SandyM 1,956]

Sounds like you got it . Keep us posted on your progress. I agree this can happen to anyone, it is after all a tool.

[Pagon 8]

I can so complete understand and relate to this. I did the same thing. Here it is New Year's Day and once again, I make that vow and pledge to do right this time.

One thing that happened to me, and from what I understand it has happened to many others, I trade my food addiction in for other things. So many times, I couldn't eat, but I could drink. Now, if something causes me "Stress" I can't stress eat, much, but boy I can drink. So, approximately 18-24 months after my surgery I had a drinking problem. At first I didn't make the connection. Then I started talking to a couple of other people, and yeah it was about the same time for them also. Some people realize this is happening and stop before it gets out of control, others ignore the signs.

Well, when I decided to got to rehab to get a grip on my addictions there were many people in the center that had the same issue had happened to.them. When I got out I went to see my surgeon and yes, they confirmed that is a common occurrence. I found it extremely difficult to believe this isn't discussed or explain with in much more detail to be client pre and post surgery.

So, basically I spent the last 2 1/2 years consuming massive empty calories, regaining all the weight I lost, unable to loose it again. I am trying do get a positive mental outlook and start again, basically from the beginning.

I am open to any and all suggestions of how to start over. I have tried the doing shakes like pre-op and that doesn't seem to work. I understand that my patience is great based on the fact that I lost 30 lbs in the first month after surgery, and I expect the same.

[Bama53 214]

I don't know if this will make sense to anyone and I am writing it because I need to get it out of my head and into a place I can come back to. But here it goes.......I have been banded since 2008. I lost about 70lbs but I have gained my weight back. Let me clarify...it was NOT the band at fault. It was ME. I went into this thinking "oh man this is it! this is what is going to make me skinny"! Sure I would have to work at it a "little bit" but it's gonna be easy peasey! I mean the band would stop me from eating bad stuff, right?..I have read forums and sure some people needed to work at it, but not me! I knew it all, had a great mindset. I was ready!.....I did great for a little while. Measured my food, ate Proteins first followed by veggies...cut out starches, sweets and sodas and drank plenty of Water. Found my "sweet spot" and then, well then I went through some life changes and fell (easily) into old habits. Ok, if I am being honest, life changes is kind of a blanket term...so things got a little stressed, money got tight, I lost my job. "Life changes". Got tired of people in my life feeling sorry for me because I couldn't eat like I used to. "Life changes". Got tired of people looking at my food portions and having to explain why I ate a cup of food. "Life changes". But most of all eating junk was so much easier. Sliders, burgers and pizza BUT in smaller bites, bcz that's what you are supposed to do with a band, right? one thing lead to another and off the wagon I fell. Tumbled, actually. About 2010 I gave up completely. The weight came back and I blamed "Life Changes". I tried to get back on track, several times, but when I failed, I kept blaming everyone and everything around me. It's not me, it's them, those damned "life changes". But ultimately I knew it was me. No one can determine your life but you. But I am here today because I am holding myself accountable. I didn't fall off the wagon. I climbed off all by myself. See, "life changes" all the time. But you have to figure out how you are going to respond to those changes. Stuff your face, eat your emotions-like me? Make better choices than me. Be aware of yourself.... I am through with blaming everyone else for MY problems. I have seen pictures of myself then and now. I have felt the changes that a 70lb weight loss can have and what the regaining of those pounds feels like. The shortness of breath, the inability to tie my shoes, the inability to stand for long periods of time and feeling insecure when I walk into a room. This time I am involving family and friends so I have to hold myself accountable to not only me, but them too. Now, I have what I call my rally team. I call it that because I will need them to rally for me when I am running low and need that push. I have the person who stands beside me, the person who will push me and tell it like it is, the fashionista who reminds me of my physical goals, the gym rat to call me out when I am sitting on the side lines and the person going through WLS of her own to talk to. But most of all, I have me. Me who understands that while something can be eaten, it probably shouldn't be. Me who knows my struggles and doesn't want to be a failure again. The Me who can be a winner! For those who are banded, you probably have gone through this too, maybe not to the extreme that I have and for those new or considering getting the band. I offer this advise. Be ready and as mentally prepared as you can be. Know that restriction DOES NOT mean automatic restriction from certain foods, it means you will feel fuller with less food. Take time to learn your body's signal that you are full. Not your normal full (to the brim) feeling you probably get now. If you love food and eat and snack all day, you are in for a major change. Follow the rules, be strong. The band IS NOT A MIRACLE WORKER. It takes discipline and learning and patience. Yes you will see some people lose weight quickly, but don't get discouraged. Stick with it. Do you. Be conscious of your hands when they are heading to your mouth with unhealthy stuff. Be present in the journey. Don't take your band for granted like I did. It has taken me 5 years to realize I have a lapband that needs to be taken care of and it's not easy peasey...it's the hardest change I have ever had to make. I was able to quit smoking faster than learning how to eat correctly! lol! While there are some folks that have actual problems with the band, I can tell you that my band didn't fail me. I failed it. The difference in this go round is that I am taking responsibility for my actions and not blaming anyone for my mistakes. Wish me luck and I wish you good luck too! Here is to a new band aware me!

You got this!!! Thanks for sharing!

[Media_Girl24 6]

I'm so glad you posted this today. I needed to know that someone else has gone through a similar experience to mine!

I was banded in August of 2010 and immediately lost nearly 50 lbs, went from a size 20/22 to a size 14/16. Felt great and was the thinnest I've been in nearly 20 years. A size 14/16 is completely workable for me, as I'm a larger boned girl. Went from 262 to 215. My goal is just to have the first number of my weight be a "1", so I use 199 as my target weight!

However, then life happened... in fact, the three years since my banding have truly been the worst of my life. (I'm aware that this sounds like a made up series of events... alas, it is not. Its my life!) First, my marriage fell apart when I realized my husband was having a midlife crisis and was cheating. I'm not the type of gal who will deal with that, so I filed for divorce, which turned out to be long, nasty and expensive. I was laid off from my job during this process. I've been unemployed, and then underemployed since. My ex moved five hours away and left me as the sole parent of our special needs child. Between the divorce and job loss, our house (which my attorney insisted on getting for me in the divorce) was foreclosed on. My first post-divorce romantic relationship turned out to be very hurtful and ended badly. And, over the past 2.5 years, I've gained nearly all my weight back.

I'm not proud of this, in fact, I'm deeply ashamed. As I'm sure just about any of you reading this knows, weight issues are so often tied to emotional triggers and stress. I don't drink, don't do drugs, and don't gamble.... I eat!

So now, its 2014 and I'm going to re-lose the 50 pounds I need to get to that goal weight. I'm not quite sure how I'll get there with the continued stress in my life, but am certainly going to try. Would love to hear from others who have "fallen off the wagon" and managed to get back on.

[Pagon 8]

Thank you for sharing. I am finding out that sharing is one of the hardest things. I am going to try and use the forum more for that I hope that others will also. Good luck to all.

[palmaspr 3]

Thank-you for sharing. I have had some problems myself but I'm committed to doing better this year! Go back on track and you will make it!

Edited January 2, 2014 by palmaspr

[terrydumont46 1,954]

All of you are wise beyond years. i think and believe that every one of you can and will succeed again with your band. i am not going to preach i just wanted to say i wish you guys all the support you need, and eyes to read your problems and some gentle or maybe not so gentle advise. depending on my mental status for the day i can be a little hard. but my wish for you is a happy, healthy, leaner 2014.

[B-52 7,113]

Question.....if you found your sweet spot, how was it you were able to overeat....did you ignore the pain and vomiting? To the point where your perhaps stretched your pouch way out allowing you to eat large, uncontrolled portions?

Example...there was a poster the other day who said how she took one bite too large, too hard, and it HURT for days!!!

I certainly understand that if I take one bite, one swallow too many....the band yells STOP!

I ask this to learn...I am at a point where I find it IMPOSSIBLE to overeat, unless I like all the bad things that will happen if I attempt to do it...

I have been on cruises, for example, where I put my band to the test...EVERYTHING GOES!!!! and I found it was still impossible to eat anything more than the band will allow, again, unless I don't mind being sick and carry the pain, and I think l even lost weight that cruise...

People are always referring to their "Sweet Spot" or being in the "Green Zone"

Curious how different people interpret that for themselves...

Congratulations on re-committing yourself....Hope you find that adjustment and perfect balance with the band.

Also, there is NEVER anything people should feel ashamed for....this forum has 1000's of members and everyone has something to share that is important and informative to some one else...

Edited January 2, 2014 by B-52

[kll724 3,055]

Welcome all you newbies to this site! It is great to see you are recommitted to the band for the New You! Don't forget to see your surgeon for a fill and guidance. You want to make sure that the band has not been stretched,too! You are not in this lone, that is why the band is adjustable! Best wishes for your successes! Karen..aka..kll724

[Bandista 7,466]

I don't know if this will make sense to anyone and I am writing it because I need to get it out of my head and into a place I can come back to. But here it goes.......I have been banded since 2008. I lost about 70lbs but I have gained my weight back. Let me clarify...it was NOT the band at fault. It was ME. I went into this thinking "oh man this is it! this is what is going to make me skinny"! Sure I would have to work at it a "little bit" but it's gonna be easy peasey! I mean the band would stop me from eating bad stuff, right?..I have read forums and sure some people needed to work at it, but not me! I knew it all, had a great mindset. I was ready!.....I did great for a little while. Measured my food, ate Proteins first followed by veggies...cut out starches, sweets and sodas and drank plenty of Water. Found my "sweet spot" and then, well then I went through some life changes and fell (easily) into old habits. Ok, if I am being honest, life changes is kind of a blanket term...so things got a little stressed, money got tight, I lost my job. "Life changes". Got tired of people in my life feeling sorry for me because I couldn't eat like I used to. "Life changes". Got tired of people looking at my food portions and having to explain why I ate a cup of food. "Life changes". But most of all eating junk was so much easier. Sliders, burgers and pizza BUT in smaller bites, bcz that's what you are supposed to do with a band, right? one thing lead to another and off the wagon I fell. Tumbled, actually. About 2010 I gave up completely. The weight came back and I blamed "Life Changes". I tried to get back on track, several times, but when I failed, I kept blaming everyone and everything around me. It's not me, it's them, those damned "life changes". But ultimately I knew it was me. No one can determine your life but you. But I am here today because I am holding myself accountable. I didn't fall off the wagon. I climbed off all by myself. See, "life changes" all the time. But you have to figure out how you are going to respond to those changes. Stuff your face, eat your emotions-like me? Make better choices than me. Be aware of yourself.... I am through with blaming everyone else for MY problems. I have seen pictures of myself then and now. I have felt the changes that a 70lb weight loss can have and what the regaining of those pounds feels like. The shortness of breath, the inability to tie my shoes, the inability to stand for long periods of time and feeling insecure when I walk into a room. This time I am involving family and friends so I have to hold myself accountable to not only me, but them too. Now, I have what I call my rally team. I call it that because I will need them to rally for me when I am running low and need that push. I have the person who stands beside me, the person who will push me and tell it like it is, the fashionista who reminds me of my physical goals, the gym rat to call me out when I am sitting on the side lines and the person going through WLS of her own to talk to. But most of all, I have me. Me who understands that while something can be eaten, it probably shouldn't be. Me who knows my struggles and doesn't want to be a failure again. The Me who can be a winner! For those who are banded, you probably have gone through this too, maybe not to the extreme that I have and for those new or considering getting the band. I offer this advise. Be ready and as mentally prepared as you can be. Know that restriction DOES NOT mean automatic restriction from certain foods, it means you will feel fuller with less food. Take time to learn your body's signal that you are full. Not your normal full (to the brim) feeling you probably get now. If you love food and eat and snack all day, you are in for a major change. Follow the rules, be strong. The band IS NOT A MIRACLE WORKER. It takes discipline and learning and patience. Yes you will see some people lose weight quickly, but don't get discouraged. Stick with it. Do you. Be conscious of your hands when they are heading to your mouth with unhealthy stuff. Be present in the journey. Don't take your band for granted like I did. It has taken me 5 years to realize I have a lapband that needs to be taken care of and it's not easy peasey...it's the hardest change I have ever had to make. I was able to quit smoking faster than learning how to eat correctly! lol! While there are some folks that have actual problems with the band, I can tell you that my band didn't fail me. I failed it. The difference in this go round is that I am taking responsibility for my actions and not blaming anyone for my mistakes. Wish me luck and I wish you good luck too! Here is to a new band aware me!

Powerful post! That fierceness is just what we each need to face up to our addictions and make our lives work for us. Here's to 2014 -- so glad you are here on the forum. Your absolute determination comes through every word.

[Bandista 7,466]

I can so complete understand and relate to this. I did the same thing. Here it is New Year's Day and once again, I make that vow and pledge to do right this time.

One thing that happened to me, and from what I understand it has happened to many others, I trade my food addiction in for other things. So many times, I couldn't eat, but I could drink. Now, if something causes me "Stress" I can't stress eat, much, but boy I can drink. So, approximately 18-24 months after my surgery I had a drinking problem. At first I didn't make the connection. Then I started talking to a couple of other people, and yeah it was about the same time for them also. Some people realize this is happening and stop before it gets out of control, others ignore the signs.

Well, when I decided to got to rehab to get a grip on my addictions there were many people in the center that had the same issue had happened to.them. When I got out I went to see my surgeon and yes, they confirmed that is a common occurrence. I found it extremely difficult to believe this isn't discussed or explain with in much more detail to be client pre and post surgery.

So, basically I spent the last 2 1/2 years consuming massive empty calories, regaining all the weight I lost, unable to loose it again. I am trying do get a positive mental outlook and start again, basically from the beginning.

I am open to any and all suggestions of how to start over. I have tried the doing shakes like pre-op and that doesn't seem to work. I understand that my patience is great based on the fact that I lost 30 lbs in the first month after surgery, and I expect the same.

Hi Pagon, thanks for sharing this -- transference of addictions is so easy to fall into and very hard to climb out of again. Know that there are lots of people just starting and lots of people starting over. It doesn't matter where we are on this new day because we are all at the beginning of it. I am hoping to trade in food obsession with a healthy attachment to exercise so I can be one of those people who can't wait to work out, has to get my walk in each day, etc. For now I am kind of faking it (doing it anyway and telling myself how great it is) but then once in a while I find myself thinking about getting to exercise, how good it will feel, and I realize the rewiring is starting to happen. Good luck to you and know that you're not alone -- so glad you're here.

[Rojasanoll 920]

make sure you keep yoru doctor's appointment during that first year. Then after you can see the doctor every 6 months or at least yearly. Good care and advice is given often during that first year. You are still learning what to eat and at least weighing in keeps you on par. Not all of us will lose the weight quickly with or without fills. We are all different and some will lose weight very slow. At least YOU are losing weight and learning what food types to eat. It's a learning experience for each of us.

Happy New Year

Best Wishes and Keep the Faith.

[Pagon 8]

I don't think that I ever really found my sweet spot -- because I didn't over eat to pain or vomiting. I wish I could.