I've seen quite a few people around these parts talking about people they know who have lost weight "on their own" while they personally had WLS and I must say, this mindset makes me a bit pissy.

Before having VSG, I tried every freaking diet out there. I exercised like a maniac. I tried drugs I knew were potentially harmful to my long term health. I resigned myself to being fat every single time I failed before slapping myself around and trying something new or trying something old again and again. I saw nutritionists, I saw gastro specialists. I considered a hypnotist, but I waved that off as hogwash. (No offense to anyone who tried it, just not my cup of tea.) I lost weight, I gained weight, I lost weight, I gained weight, I lost, I gained, I yo-yo'd myself right into a flucked up metabolism and mass frustration for myself and my family.

I finally decided that I had no other options and settled on the Vertical Sleeve after researching my WLS options for almost a year. I went through 4 months with one surgeon before realizing there was no way in H E double hockey sticks could I let him cut me open before starting the process over with another surgeon that I felt comfortable with.

I did all the pre-op work with a nutritionist (whack job!!) figuring that if I could concentrate on losing for those 6 months, maybe I wouldn't need surgery after all.

I saw the counselor (WHACK JOB!!!) and never got to the root of my troubles other than the fact that I am a greedy piglet. (She swears I am repressing sexual abuse in a past life -- no REALLY, a PAST life, not just in my past. Uhmmm...)

I did my pre-op diet for a month instead of the required two weeks because I wanted to.

I exercised my fanny off (literally) over the last 7 months.

I weigh, measure and log my food.

I read labels.

I make good choices putting my Protein needs first.

I make sure to get in my 10k steps every single day even if that means running in place for an hour at 10pm when I know I have to be up, bright eyed and bushy tailed in 7 hours.

I look for recipes that are healthier for my family that I can eat as well but I often cook two meals so they can eat what they like and I can eat what I need to eat.

I put the fork down before I want to so that I don't spend the next 30 minutes bent over the toilet even when it took me an hour to prepare a meal and I've only had two or three bites because ,my tiny tummy isn't tolerating more than an ounce instead of it's usual 3 or 4.

I read menus days in advance if I know I am going out so that I can order seamlessly with everyone else.

I attend parties and conferences and work functions and eat mindfully so I can enjoy the event without calling attention to myself.

I suffer through stalls in my head so that my family doesn't have to hear my incessant whining because I know they've suffered enough of my nonsense over the years.

I appreciate everything my changing body has allowed me to do over the years despite the abuse I put it through and I appreciate how much it's thanking me as I am relieving it of all the excess weight.

I went to kickboxing even when I don't feel like it and now I teach it so I don't have a choice but to go.

I joined a high dollar gym and hired a high dollar trainer, not because I am a high dollar girl but because I am now forced to go.

I look at my saggy skin and my floppy boobs and my melty thighs and my squishy bum and my hangy arms and while I regret that I didn't do this 5, 10, 15 years ago, I smile that I did do it seven months ago.

I am losing this weight ON MY OWN. If you honestly think I'm not, please tell me who is doing it for me. They owe me a whole bunch of money, time and heartache for all the things I've put myself through over the last year+ and I owe them a HUGE amount of thanks for getting me where I am today.

Edited December 22, 201312 yr by LipstickLady

Butterthebean said:

This surgery is no more the easy way out than chemotherapy for cancer patients.

As a 2 time cancer surviver (double mastectomy and aggresive chemo) and a 50+ year fighter of the food wars I would like to say that, for me, although the cancer was scarier, the battle with food has been harder and more demoralizing. It' hard to keep fighting the battle when you "know" in the deep recesses of your mind that you don't have a snowball's chance of winning.

That's why I am having this surgery at 71 years old. I'm scheduled for Feb. 3 and for the first time I really think I can win this battle.

I've been reading here for two months and the excitement of the newbies is catching. But the inspiration comes from the people who are further out and winning the war.

Thank you all for being here

Thanks for the support folks

When somebody says something to me about it being the easy way out I respond, "Would you be willing to cut off 75% of your stomach to make weight loss easy?" Easy is the incorrect word ....... brave is more like it!

My husband called me brave the other day and I threw me off a little. I didn't think of myself as brave when I was scared $hitless!!!! He said "It takes a lot of guts to do what you did and I admire you."

My doc said to me this week that I was brave to have the surgery - and that I was to be applauded for saving my own life :-)))))

Thank you for this post. I was feeling a little down because of some negative comments from people around me . There is so much judgement out there . Sometimes I feel like I can't win . Before the surgery I was judged because I was too fat. After

the surgery I was judged because I had surgery to lose weight and "Took the easy way out " EASY my butt! Ugh makes me crazy.

AMEN! and from now on...I'm going to reframe my own thoughts and behaviors. As before I read your post, I think I wasn't giving myself or any of us enough credit. I was still swirling in low self esteem, self doubt and feelings of failure that seem to plague the overweight and obese. Thank you for the new perspective. I feel like I just watched GI Jane, which always makes me feel like pumping iron, kicking ass and taking names. I'm not going to apologize or belittle my accomplishments anymore. You are right...I am doing this myself too...I am changing my behaviors and choices and patterns. The VSG is why, but it doesn't change the fact that it is happening, because I chose this tool to make it happen. Thank you for being courageous enough to point this out and give me a healthier perspective.

Loved this post!! And definitely need to hear it. Like most of us here, I too was dealing with how others would feel about my decision to have surgery. IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS! I made the decision to do this for me and not for anyone else. I'm doing it myself. This process has not been easy. I started in August and my surgery is in a few days. I had to get through Christmas and will have to get through New Years while trying to maintain a liquid diet and showing extreme self control! I'm proud of me and screw whoever doesn't like it... ****vent complete*** LOL

I just love you refreshing words of truth!!

This should be printed out and glued to my forehead.

I have had mostly support but on Christmas I was talking to my best friend of forever and she told me she was worried that I was going to go through all this and just gain all the weight back anyway. I hadn't even thought of that as an option an now I'm scared. Sometimes I wish people would just keep their mouths to themselves. I might have failed every other time I have tried but this time I am making the commitment to change. I'm only 9 days post op, and nervous for what the year has to bring.

I posted exactly the same thing earlier - someone asked why I had thrown away my old clothes, was I so sure I wouldn't put on weight. I was almost 8 months out and it had never occurred to me I might do that so sure was I of my commitment to my sleeve.

I wobbled for a few days then got a grip. Our success or failure lies only in our hands. Ignore the inner critic who will now have come to the surface because of that friend's comment. You have a choice of how to respond to her comments - cave in, agree and give up before you start or let it go and focus on what lies ahead, not behind you.

I know you can do this, you are committed to change and are ready. Good luck, hope it goes well and keep on this forum, there will always be support for you. X

Oh I can't believe I missed this post! Beautifully written LL and it was one the most helpful things anyone ever said to me on this site during my first few weeks. I was whining about how I had failed to do this on my own and you said "I'm confused. You're not doing this on your own? Who is doing it for you?"

Not only did it make me laugh but it also made me realize how silly I was being. Changed my attitude entirely, thanks to you.

So just to play devil's advocate for a minute, let's say we did take the "easy way out". What's wrong with that? I don't think it's easy getting surgery and making a commitment for life, but let's say it is. Isn't the end game losing weight and keeping it off?

Is someone giving out awards for doing things the hard way? Because if so, they owe me a few hundred I'd like to claim for always having to learn things the hard way.

My ex-husband encouraged me to take pain meds during childbirth. I didn't take them but he was right when he said there are no awards for suffering through childbirth with maximum pain. Either way, you'll still have a baby at the end of it. It's the same here. No awards for losing weight one way or another.

My husband told me to stop looking at this as failure and start looking at is as troubleshooting success. Finally, finally after fricking YEARS of trying, we've found something that seems to work for us. How is that not success?

And I do think the tool helps me, so I agree with the earlier posts that we're better off than people who are trying this without a sleeve. I could never eat this little food without hunger pangs without my sleeve. So yes, we are better off than those who don't have a sleeve.

But that's why we chose it. Because 90% of people who lose weight without a sleeve gain it back. While some people gain back some of the weight after a sleeve, the number is less than 50% of weight regained for less than 50% of those sleeved.

I'll take those odds.

Edited December 28, 201312 yr by gamergirl

YOU'RE AWESOME LL !! I plan to follow you and I begin my journey 12-31... I will need that wisdom and those brass balls!

Blessing!

WOW very nice read, Thanks for sharing