Things I heard yesterday. ..

-is it ok for you to eat that?

-oh.. none of that for you!

-I thought you couldn't eat that?

-nope.. not for you!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So in the middle of dinner I stood up and said, 'Listen, I do not need any of you to police what I'm eating. You need to pass everthing to me like you always have and I am perfectly capable of choosing for myself whether or not I can or can't eat it. It's my choice! And if there is one more comment I am leaving'!.

Well, everyone was a little shocked but the comments stopped and I was able to really enjoy the rest of the evening without feeling like I was under a microscope. Geesh!

I may be misunderstanding but I find it interesting that many of you (I think ) are assuming I started this thread because I was eating crap. Interesting. .. actually I ate one slice of Turkey, about a tbls each of stuffing and mashed potatoes and a few green beens. I was really good and still got all the comments and scrutiny. Oh yeah... I did have a little piece of dark chocolate too. So what? I'm a big girl, aren't I? I only got fed up and said something because this has been going on for weeks and I was sick of it. I tried talking to my family about it nicely and it didn't work, so BAM! now they get it. I don't mind honest curiosity and questions about my diet but I don't need to be policed.

I remember your post and I think you handled it very well. If nice doesn't work then a stand up approach was needed. I didn't think you were eating more than you should. Just enjoying the feast in a sleeved way.

One day, not too long after I got sleeved, one of my coworkers was blabbing in and on about how healthy he was eating and how he wanted to lose a few pounds. All the while I'm putting his lunch into my fitness pal to add up the calories. 1200! Jeezus it's hard not to say something. As time went on it got easier for me to go back to ignoring other people's plates.

Have you looked up the salads at chilis, pF Chang, California pizza kitchen, macaroni grill etc? The salads all have 1200 calories or more. Almost nothing in those places is low enough for one person to eat for one meal.

When I go out with friends who think "they'll just have a salad" I want to scream at them to look them up for calories, and order some nice salmon and broccoli already! So far I have (wo)manfully restrained myself.

We truly live in an obesogenic environment in this country.

Salads are the big fooler!! If you actually look at what is in those things you would go for the burger (without the bun)! I have taken to having my salad dressing on the side and have found that I enjoy my salad much more. I can't believe how much dressing I actually leave behind now.

I routinely annoy my family by looking up a restaurants menu and then looking up their calories in MFP and then deciding what we're eating. I've been doing this for years. When everyone is hungry and just wants to eat, and Mom has to do this long drawn out thing...I'm not always popular but by golly I'm right!

We went to chili's last night. They have their "light menu".....everything is 675 calories or less. Bloody hell 675 calories?!?! That's light? I guess it is compared to the rest of their stuff.

It still blows my mind to realize that is what I eat ALL DAY, those 675 calories.

Here's the crazy thing: my kids ended up eating deep dish pizza…from frozen, it was still better in EVERY protein/carb/calorie count than Pei Wei...

It was more than I would eat in most days also but it wasn't as bad as a chicken and vegetables dish. We just have to be so vigilant.

I didn't get that out of anybody either. I think we were just "venting" about people/or us trying to MAKE people do right according to their/our rules. Lol. And we ALL know, that doesn't work. Ha!

Lol wtf is a Pei Wei?? That's a new one to me..

Gods honest truth here.. And off topic a bit

I have NEVER been to a chilis, PF Changs, California pizza kitchen, macaroni grill.

In my life...

You would not of caught me dead in one of those places..

I went once with my Inlaws to Cheesecake Factory once for a celebration dinner, and I was deeply saddened by the whole thing. Everyone of those fat Americans in that place gleefully ordered up that crap and ate..

I ordered something it might of been a salad and I knew damn well it was a calorie, fat laden, heart attack on a dish...

I cannot/could not claim ignorance to nutritional values..

I am coming to realize I am different.

Fucked up in very different ways..

I am a fat girl without an island....

I was morbidly obese but it happened in much more insidious ways..

I think I might be fucked.

You're fine, L-V. You have come a long way and you are doing great.

Pei Wei is PF Chang's answer to a lower-cost, not exactly fast food chain.

?.....

I think I might be fucked.

I think you're doing pretty good. You're not fucked. It's not easy though, nothing worthwhile ever is.

Have you looked up the salads at chilis, pF Chang, California pizza kitchen, macaroni grill etc? The salads all have 1200 calories or more. Almost nothing in those places is low enough for one person to eat for one meal. When I go out with friends who think "they'll just have a salad" I want to scream at them to look them up for calories, and order some nice salmon and broccoli already! So far I have (wo)manfully restrained myself. We truly live in an obesogenic environment in this country.

omg i almost passed out a year ago when I checked the calorie content if the lettuce wraps at Cheesecake Factory. I should have had cheesecake!

My family has been wonderfully supportive and my aunt and uncle have had WLS too. RNY and the sleeve. When the subject comes up it's more about sharing info and helping.

Those who've never had are more curious than critical.

Things I heard yesterday. ..

-is it ok for you to eat that?

-oh.. none of that for you!

-I thought you couldn't eat that?

-nope.. not for you!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So in the middle of dinner I stood up and said, 'Listen, I do not need any of you to police what I'm eating. You need to pass everthing to me like you always have and I am perfectly capable of choosing for myself whether or not I can or can't eat it. It's my choice! And if there is one more comment I am leaving'!.

Well, everyone was a little shocked but the comments stopped and I was able to really enjoy the rest of the evening without feeling like I was under a microscope. Geesh!

Another reason I only told a select few.

omg i almost passed out a year ago when I checked the calorie content if the lettuce wraps at Cheesecake Factory. I should have had cheesecake!

Your comment would be funny if it weren't true.

Actually it's still very funny

Lol wtf is a Pei Wei?? That's a new one to me..

Gods honest truth here.. And off topic a bit

I have NEVER been to a chilis, PF Changs, California pizza kitchen, macaroni grill.

In my life...

You would not of caught me dead in one of those places..

I went once with my Inlaws to Cheesecake Factory once for a celebration dinner, and I was deeply saddened by the whole thing. Everyone of those fat Americans in that place gleefully ordered up that crap and ate..

I ordered something it might of been a salad and I knew damn well it was a calorie, fat laden, heart attack on a dish...

I cannot/could not claim ignorance to nutritional values..

I am coming to realize I am different.

Fucked up in very different ways..

I am a fat girl without an island....

I was morbidly obese but it happened in much more insidious ways..

I think I might be fucked.

i am the same way. i never ever ate that crap. interested to know what you mean about feeling fucked, cause i dont feel that way.

i am the same way. i never ever ate that crap. interested to know what you mean about feeling fucked, cause i dont feel that way.

I said that because some days I have felt like my problems with food are not the "norm" around here.

I guess I needed to step back and see the big picture here.

Not everyone here has "food issues"

As a matter of fact a lot of people here just plain old said to me

"nope, I just ate big portions, and or bad food that's all"

No underlying issues (as I assumed wrongly)

We are all different people, different weights, different reasons for this surgery...

For every person that is like me there are twenty that are not..

I guess I said "fucked" because I was jealous of the ones that just had bad nutrition..

I cannot claim that particular ignorance.

Oh well, so much for the neat boxes..

You're not alone in that, Laura. I cook for my family. I used to cook ridiculously healthy but over the years I've taken more of a "fucked it" route.

We really were/are not out every night eating crap and not knowing better. But the favorite pre-surgery meal out? Mexican. With two margaritas. I usually ordered reasonably well but let's be honest…most restaurant food is too large or too fatty, regardless.

I have a sister who is a trained chef. I know all of the tricks, and you know what? Butter really does make everything taste better. I make a sour cream cake to die for. (And given its content, you just might.)

But I also have a binge-eating husband, who is a picky eater to boot. I have at least one kid who sneaks food and eats really fast. And I teeter amongst them, having been on at least half a dozen really strict diets over the years.

My point is, there is no box. There's kind of an amorphous blob that covers a spectrum of behaviors, some of which is not so bad, and some of which is incredibly damaging, when indulged in regularly. And those are wrapped in an enigma and cloaked in mystery. Or misery. Not sure.