I Lived Through This Surgery, My Sister Didn't.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Lyndsey congratulations on your weight loss. You have done amazing in spite of the difficult time you are facing..your sister would Celebrate your success and so should you hun...

You should not feel guilt over all of this..You should feel proud of the fact that you are doing what both of you set out to do and that was to become active and healthier...the guilt lays with the medical world who did not look after her enough, dig deep enough and therefore dropped the ball..At her expense...Sorry for that, but it is true..Everyone needs to know before they go into any surgery that the team is behind you...Doing everything they can for a successful outcome..They take an oath for that very thing!

You should be celebrating each new milestone that you are making...It is a reflection of what both of you wanted and she would be celebrating your victories if she could.....Make this a positive thing in your life a midst all the pain for both of you..

Hope you understand what I am trying to say...If you don't see it as a victory for yourself and a life improvement. it will be no different for you then when you were struggling before with weight loss....It will just be another experience in your life that made little or no difference to you....Please understand that it is a victory for you more so because of what you have suffered personally.

I hope all the best for you hun and your family as you go forward with life.

Edited January 3, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[dcancel1 14]

Wow! I'm so heart broken with your story n ur sisters. It must be the most difficult thing in the world. I haven't lost a sister thank God! I have lost my best friend, comforter, my beautiful mother at age 53. I have learned to feel she is away on vacation in another county and we just can't communicate now. This has helped me thru these last 14 years. She lives in Heaven awaiting the second coming of Christ! What better place? This is how I deal with her lost. I'm extremely sorry for your lost. Please enjoy life with ur family n nieces/nephews but aunty who is there thru thick n thin. They will love u for it when they grow up. Children can deal better with lost than adults. They will make it thru! Holidays will be better. Just do them n remember ur sister. how ur sister would had made the Holidays. Do as she would have n remember her n her passion for life. Thank u for sharing ur story. Time to reevaluate my decision n make sure this is what I want. I'm about the same size ur sister was size 18 sometimes 16. 208lbs. Thank u!!!! Sorry if I went on n on....

[chefcoll 53]

I am 100% certain your sister is still with you and celebrating for you. You need to be proud of yourself - I bet she is!

[Writergirl 230]

Lindsey, your beautiful sister died with dignity and grace, fighting to improve her health for herself and her family. I know you know this, and that nothing will ease this terrible, endless grief. One year ago, I lost my beautiful sister, too. A sister is a best friend in a way that no one else can ever be. I haven't been to this site for months, and I feel it is no coincidence that I came here tonight and found your post. One thing I found t his past year is that there are no support groups for those who have lost siblings! I found groups for those who had lost parents, spouses, and children, but no group for me. If you need to reach out to someone who understands, please feel free to contact me. Thank you for sharing both of your stories. What a terrible loss for you, her husband and children, and your family. Peace. Mary Lynne

[tiajsuccess 13]

Thank you for sharing your sisters story. I wish you and your family the best.

[Polished Pig 20]

Lyndsey,

Despite some peoples lack of respect I personally am thankful for your story. I just finished reading ALL of the post and I wanted to reach out to you and thank you for sharing your sisters story as well as your own.

I am scheduled for surgery January 21st and I have spent about 7 years making this decision. Death still scares me but obviously this was not a decision I made lightly.

I wanted to see if you could give us a little information about the symptoms she was having after surgery that differed from your own. Maybe some things that those of us who are heading towards surgery can be on the look out for.

Your sister will be remembered. Her story may save lives, thank you again for sharing.

[nyorker 67]

Did you sisters use the same Dr?

Sorry for your loss.

[bosslady99751 19]

My prayers for your family! I personally appreciate you being transparent with us and helping some of us that are considering the surgery.

[Kindle 8,667]

I certainly wouldn't be one of the ones holding you back.

[Alex Brecher 10,486]

I just removed a rude comment from this thread. In the future, please use the report feature for similar comments.

[life_after_gastric_bypass 214]

I just removed a rude comment from this thread. In the future, please use the report feature for similar comments.

Thanks Alex

[LyndseyD 106]

wait- why was MY comment removed? So, let me get this right, this chick can come here and belittle me, and make light of what happend to my family, and when I stand up for myself you delete my comment?! Really. Thanks "big Brother" good looking out... her comment stayed for days, typical. Thanks for the "support". I guess we should all take note that its ok to taunt those hurting, but don't dare stand up for yourself!

bye ya'll.Thanks to those that have been suppoortive, but I don't need this in my life right now. I came here to stand up for my sister, to try to help others making choices and decisions we all had to make. I had no intention of scaring anyone but if I did, good! It IS a scary decision, it IS a life and death decision... if what happened to my sister scared you then so be it.

Good luck to those with a heart, and to those that have been supportive I really do thank you. To those who have not, well I really pray you dont have to live through what I am living with everyday. I hope one day in the future when you do loose someone who means the world to you (because like it or not, eventyally we ALL DIE!) that you remember how you treated me... and I hope your heart hurts so bad so you know what I have been dealing with.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Lyndsey;

it was not the intention removing the comments replied, as it was a matter of those who responded attacking your feelings....no one appreciates those kinds of threatening or coarse words any time and especially as you are going through such pain...

I think the founder wanted to stop others like one of the followers of this post, not have the opportunity to say their 1 cents worth and hurt you more....

There is no intent to punish you hun....It was his choice to defuse it as he saw it best for your thread....It was not personal at all.....

The intent was to get it back where you intended it to be and that was to tell your story and put the information out there for others to think about ...We all think we have it all figured out and we don't......no one has it all figured out...

You do have support on this forum and I think about you almost every day and your family and how you are progressing....

Please rethink your desire to leave....

You need fellow sleevers to be there for you..Not the ones that make thoughtless comments but the ones that are trying to understand and care about you and your situation.....

Edited January 9, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[Nevermore 38]

She was very beautiful. Not just outside... Your love for her pours out through your words and paints a picture of a beautiful soul too. Prayers for you and your family. God holds your sister now in eternal peace and you will be united again someday. Not too soon though, we need you here. Much love to you!

[Chelenka 827]

Dear Lyndsey:

My heart goes out to you and your family as you deal with this very painful loss. Your sister was indeed a beautiful young woman, as are you. I do understand the pain of losing a beloved sibling as my oldest brother died from Leukemia in 2009. I felt and still do feel that part of my own soul went with him. I still cry for his loss and I always will. The hardest time is what you are going through now, the first year, and dealing with the rage and the devastation of the enormous void that has been created by your sister's death. You have a right to your feelings, all of them. I doubt that my words are of any comfort but I hope you can take comfort in knowing you have made an impact on your sister's behalf. She lives on through you and her family and all who knew and loved her. I hope you will reconsider and not leave the forum. As you said, your voice is now your sister's voice too and both of your stories need to be told. Many of us come thru the surgery with no or very few issues and we need to be reminded that we are indeed blessed and fortunate. Many blessing to you and your family.