I Lived Through This Surgery, My Sister Didn't.

[Jerziegirl 42]

Thank you Lindsey for sharing your sister's story and yours as well. I cannot imagine how hard this has been on your entire family. My heart breaks for you and all the loved ones your sister left behind. I pray that once you have the answers from the cause of her death, it can offer you some peace and that you can begin the healing process. Thank you for caring not only for your sister but for all of us who are starting on this journey.

[LyndseyD 106]

I can not legally disclose who our doctor was, for fear of lawsuit as we do not yet have a definitive cause of death.

YES, we had all the same doctors!

[vsgchristina 5]

I can not legally disclose who our doctor was, for fear of lawsuit as we do not yet have a definitive cause of death.

YES, we had all the same doctors!

Thank you so much... I'm so sorry this happened. Just heartbreaking. I certainly don't want to leave my little guy childless. Thank you for sharing your sister's story. I think I am going to rethink this surgery... maybe the risk isn't worth it.

[jlong007 6]

My surgery is 2 weeks away and I am super nervous. I am so sorry for your loss, I know how it feels to lose a sister. I lost my sister when she was 22 years old. Because of your experience, I am really contemplating doing the surgery, I'm going back and forth on my decision, I'm scared.

[penman53 492]

I have a friend in Oklahoma City and for the life of me your poor sisters problems sound exactly like the ones my friend has. She has went through hell since her surgery and she has had the same symtoms. God bless your and your family and my heart goes out to you for your loss.

[DaddyMarie 291]

This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you have been going through. I have a sister and she and I are very close. I would be devastated if anything happened to her. I hope you can find peace in all of this.

What surgery did you girls have? What state are you in?

[Jencovi 261]

Any updates? I have been thinking about you and your family a lot.

[LyndseyD 106]

Hi Everyone,

sorry its taken me a while to update.

We now have a definite cause of death. It was not labeled a "direct" result of the surgery, but it is related to her condition afterwards, for which she was offered little to no care until it was too late. I am not sure her husband will do anything legally, its all just so much for him right now.

Last Friday we went and picked her headstone out, and ordered it. That was hard. We should have done it sooner, but we all just needed time, and I'm still not sure we're ready to see it "written in stone" but I want something marking her grave so her children and mine can have it for the future.

I am trying to move on. I went two weekends ago and had her heartbeats and the words "let her go" tattoo'd on my left rib cage right under my bra line. It was an awesome experience, and seeing that each day lets me know she is always by my side. I am trying to get back to myself. I am now down to 145.5 pounds, wearing a loose size eight. I think soon I will move into the 6's. I am trying to get back into the swing of life, get back to myself and the way I do things. I made my house menu, did my grocery shopping for a full two weeks (I used to have a strict menu and shopping list, but since she died, we've just been throwing something together for dinner each night and its killing our budget) so, I got back to my normal way I run the house. I broke the plateau I was at (I had been stuck at 147-148 for a month) and I am trying to stay on top of work, family life, and trying to heal all at the same time. It's still hard. Harder than anything I've ever done. Ever. But- each day I wake up and I am thankful for the chance to live, the chance to kiss my kids, to tell them I love them, and to be with my family. If this has done nothing else, it has brought our family so much closer. Her husband and I are so close, and I pray we stay that way. Lord knows I need him. Her kids are my precious treasures. I just love them so much. So, thats where I'm putting my energy, into the family for now.

I'll try to keep you all updated.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Thank you Lyndsey for the update. I appreciate hearing what is happening to all of you as time goes by. You are doing great. You are moving forward and taking your sister with you and keeping the family in tact...

My thoughts are with you and yours. I knew it was neglect on the teams part....It would be very hard for you to even look at the man who gave you your chance at a better health when that happened to your sister.

Thank you

[BKLYNgal87 503]

Lyndsey,

I thank you as well for the update. There is no time frame for grief, as I'm sure you know. But I think you are doing all the right things - cherishing your family, your sister's children, your brother in law, and your own accomplishments. The support you give and you get from your loved ones, that will make all the difference down the line in your individual journey, and in your collective journey. Wishing you and your family all the best moving forward.

Rachel

[Beach Lover 1,084]

Thank you for the update. It is good to hear that you are starting to put your life back together and I wish you the very best as you grow stronger.

[DaddyMarie 291]

What was her condition afterwards?

[M2G 1,836]

I am glad to see an update from you and I love the tattoo idea and I'm sure choosing a headstone would be so hard. Still offering up prayers for you and your family.

[Tamosy 65]

Hi Lindsey,

So I've read everything on this thread. I am the big sister to my sister who had gastric bypass 8 years ago. I am 10 day post op on the sleeve. I will spare you my story (our story) as it isn't particularly relevant...but I do want to share something that is related.

I envisioned while reading all these posts the pain and anguish my sister would have felt if something similar had happened to me. I have always had somewhat strained relations with my sister. She is just much more emotional than I am and seems so overly sensitive that I struggle with how to handle her emotions. Sometimes it does keep me away from her...not because I don't love her, but because I just don't know how to make her feel loved.

Your thread has inspired me to try a lot harder. I will be making plans to spend a weekend with her later this year and have suggested we train separately, but do a half marathon together (just walk it with the goal of finishing something together). She is super excited I reached out to her. I am even thinking I may have to go get a tattoo with her that weekend, it would mean a lot to her and for that reason, a lot to me.

I know there is absolutely nothing anyone can say to console you on your loss, but maybe just knowing because you shared your story, because you and your sister shared this amazing love, through it, someone else's life has been enriched.

Thank you for allowing us to share in your loss and your journey. Many blessings to your beautiful family and when I walk with my sister, know I will think of your sister throughout that weekend and be inspired to be a better sister because of her and you.

Much love and peace to you~ Tami

[Chelenka 827]

Dear Lyndsey: thank you for posting an update. I can only imagine the pain that you and your family are enduring. Grief has no time line and doesn't go in a straight line. You are handling everything so incredibly well. I will continue to send up prayers for you and your family for continuing healing and peace. Your honesty and courage is an inspiration to many here on the forum.