I Lived Through This Surgery, My Sister Didn't.

[Essence33 90]

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to jump on here and share with you all the last six months for our family. My name is Lyndsey. I am a 28 year old mother of two, and married to my prince charming. For me, weight has been a struggle my entire life. I remember vividly being told at just 5 years old by a doctor that I was "obese" and from that point forward my journey really began. I had a pretty normal life, but fought weigth my whole life. I met my wonderful husband at work after loosing 60 pounds all on my own. Needless to say, marriage and getting comfortable- well, and having two children gave me all of that, plus more back. Before the surgery I was 255 with a BMI of 41.9. I had my surgery (VSG) May 8th, 2013 and just over 6 months later I am weighing in at 159.5. Since surgery I have had it pretty easy. I healed well, but did get pancreatitis right after the surgery and had to be hospitalized again for a few days. They were never sure if it was related to the surgery or not. Since the surgery I have tried really hard to make healthy choices with food, but to be completely honest I am a mom, and occasionally we do still eat McDonalds! (gasp!) I do not count calories, carbs, or anything for that matter. My doctor never told me I needed to. I DO drink diet coke... (terrible, I know!) I live a normal life now. I go out with my family, friends, and I am not constantly on some fad diet that wont work. I eat what my family eats, but I do try to focus on eating the Protein first, and follow that with the veggies, then the yummy sides if there is room (which there almost never is!). My goal is to be somewhere in the 130's. I really dont care if its 139.9 but I want to be in the 130's. I hope to reach that goal by the one year anniversary of my surgery.

I would also like to tell you about my big sister, my only sibling. Sherrie was a 34 year old mother of three, and also married to her high school sweetheart. They have been married almost 17 years. Sherrie had her surgery April 24th (2 weeks before me) and there were complications following the surgery. We didn't see it as much at first, or I probably wouldn't have gone through with it myself. But as I healed and started getting back to normal, my sister got sicker and sicker. Her stomach had a stricture at the top. The surgon put in a stent to try to expand it. They stent bacame embedded into her stomach wall and they had to dig it out. After that, the middle of her stomach healed closed so tightly that she couldn't eat or drink anything and keep it down. She had eaten almost nothing for 6 months. She was in and out of the hospital, and the surgon made it very difficult for her to get anyone to help her. Finally when they found the problem we were able to schedule her with a new surgon to hopefully get the problem fixed. She was hospitalized twice in October for dehydration and malnutrition. The second time they put in a PIC line, and bagan IV nutrition (TPN). She was finally feeling better. They sent her home with the PIC line and instructions on how to give herself the IV nutrition and we were told to continue this until her appointment with the new surgon. She came home from the hospital Monday afternoon. Tuesday I talked to her, and she sounded better than she had in months. She was optimistic that we could get her better and even shared with me that before they started the IV nutrition she was scared she was going to die, but now she felt like she has a chance. Wednesday morning (October 30th, 2013) we got the call that broke our family. My beautiful big sister had died at home, alone in her bed. She had asked her husband to not sleep in their bed as she was scared he would pull out her PIC line, so he was in another room. He came into their room that morning to check on her and get ready for work and found her. It was just too late. She had been gone for several hours. We were in shock. We had just got a glimpse of hope with the IV nutrition, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone. I went to the funeral home to dress my big sister, do her hair, do her makeup, and spend some time with her before we had to say goodbye. We burried her the following Monday. A huge piece of my heart is missing now. I want to share her story too because there are so many who have all these wonderful stories, but she doesn't have a voice anymore to share hers. People need to know that you CAN die from this surgery. When I had the surgery I honestly felt like the only people that die from this were the "huge" ones... and thats just not true. My sister was my size. she wasn't some crazy 500 or 800 pound person. She was in a size 18 pants JUST like I was. She died. It can happen. It does happen. I did happen to us. I am not trying to scare anyone, but I want to be her voice too. Do you research, make sure this is the right choice for you and your family. We are left now with three children that now have no mother, and my amazing brother in law (who loved my sister more than I've ever seen anyone love someone) is widowed. His heart is broken, and so is ours. A vital part of our family is missing. Below is a picture of my big sister before the surgery. She was beautiful.

,

In sorry that happened, my condolence. I'm scared now about doing this surgery. She seem fine, but passed away because of complications. I'm really considering getting a trainer and doing it differently. This is scary. Sorry again for your lost.

[LivingProof 31]

Lyndsey, thank you for sharing this with us. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you are going through. My prayers are with you.

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

Lyndsey, thank you for sharing your sister's story. I am so sorry for your loss, I know you will miss her terribly for the rest of your life. We all tend to focus on the size, weight, and health possibilities and seem to forget about the very real and very serious complications that can come with any surgery. I wish things had been different for your sister as she deserved so much better. She was beautiful and I know you are so proud of her. I hope you will Celebrate your victories as her victories. May her memory be eternal. Sending Hugs.

[loveelaura 52]

I am so sorry for your loss

[LyndseyD 106]

THank you all again for your kind thoughts, prayers, and support. I would love to tell you all which hospitals (yes there were more than one!) let her fall through the cracks, but at this time, because of possible legal issues I should probably keep that information back unitl we decide as a family if we're going to persue this legally.

I will say, one thing that happened to her right after the surgery is she had to have a swallow test (I did also, standard procedure for our doctor) and the radiologist who did the test forced her to drink way more than she should have, and she got very sick immediatly. I think this is where her problems started, and spiraled out of control from there. So, if they ask you to do a swallow test, and you feel too full, or it hurts, stand up for yourself and do not let them pressure you into taking in more than you can handle. As a patient you have to be you own advocate.

[M2G 1,836]

Oh my goodness, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I just can't even begin to imagine the pain and grief. Thank you for coming and sharing your story and that of your sister. Many thoughts and prayers to you and your entire extended family...

[loseitsoon 157]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.

[ekmw 56]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your sister sounds like she was an amazing woman, and I believe she deserved better from the hospital staffs she encountered. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is evident how very much your beautiful sister was loved and will be missed. Thank you for sharing her story - it is so important for people to understand the risk they undertake.

[musiclover 61]

THank you all again for your kind thoughts, prayers, and support. I would love to tell you all which hospitals (yes there were more than one!) let her fall through the cracks, but at this time, because of possible legal issues I should probably keep that information back unitl we decide as a family if we're going to persue this legally.

I will say, one thing that happened to her right after the surgery is she had to have a swallow test (I did also, standard procedure for our doctor) and the radiologist who did the test forced her to drink way more than she should have, and she got very sick immediatly. I think this is where her problems started, and spiraled out of control from there. So, if they ask you to do a swallow test, and you feel too full, or it hurts, stand up for yourself and do not let them pressure you into taking in more than you can handle. As a patient you have to be you own advocate.

Very good advice, I wasn't asked to do any kind of swallow test (in the UK) I woke up was regularly checked on, given pain meds and sent home the after 48 hrs. I have had zero problems. Is this test really necessary and if it is why don't all surgeons do it? I find some of these completely different practises I hear about by different surgeons most disconcerting?

[Blondiee 278]

So sorry for your loss. May God be with you and your family during this very difficult time.

[BKLYNgal87 503]

THank you all again for your kind thoughts, prayers, and support. I would love to tell you all which hospitals (yes there were more than one!) let her fall through the cracks, but at this time, because of possible legal issues I should probably keep that information back unitl we decide as a family if we're going to persue this legally.

I will say, one thing that happened to her right after the surgery is she had to have a swallow test (I did also, standard procedure for our doctor) and the radiologist who did the test forced her to drink way more than she should have, and she got very sick immediatly. I think this is where her problems started, and spiraled out of control from there. So, if they ask you to do a swallow test, and you feel too full, or it hurts, stand up for yourself and do not let them pressure you into taking in more than you can handle. As a patient you have to be you own advocate.

I work for a hospital and agree you shouldn't disclose the hospitals or doctors were involved until a formal complaint or suit has been lodged because you don't want to be countersued by the hospital or doctors for libel. Complications are very complex in nature and there's no way to know for sure from speculation what the cause of death was, or even if her complications played a role. Was an autopsy performed (I'd have to assume given her age it was)? If so the results from it should paint a clearer picture. I hope it will offer your family some closure as well. Then you can move forward with your decision making.

Lyndsey, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Chellemetime 299]

I am SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS! Your sister was a beautiful person. I'm so sorry.

[scarlet333 386]

I had tears in my eyes to read your story and sisters story. I am so sorry for your loss and know your heart is heavy. It is so hard to understand why these things happen. Please take comfort that you and your family and her children have a guardian angel now. God Bless.

[2013sleevegirl 126]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.