To entertain myself I thought up bad answers to frequently asked questions posed to WLS people:

"Is the food OK?" (asked because you ate so little)

Oh, yes, I haven't had food this good since the Turkish prison.

"Isn't weight loss surgery the easy way out?"

Yes, it is. I was going to shoot everyone smaller than me to make myself look average but there is an ammo shortage.

"How did you get so fat in the first place?"

I was stranded on an island with a group of sumo wrestlers. I had the only gun. A year later I was the only one left.

"How could you afford this operation?"

Well, I got this e-mail from a Nigerian widow...

"How could you do this to yourself?'

I originally wanted to do it to you but couldn't get a Brazilian visa.

"How did you lose so much weight?"

I sent myself in a suitcase on American Airlines. They lost it.

"How did you get those scars on your belly?"

Picked up by a Pterodactyl.

You wise guys got any?

So funny! Idk why but the pterodactyl one cracked me up!

Do you miss the weight?

Yes, so much so that I am considering strapping a small child to my back just to recreate the old feeling...

Couldn't you have tried harder to lose weight ?

You are so right, 30 years just wasn't long enough to know if I could have done more.

Haven't you lost a lot of weight, you can see it's come off your face.

If you could tear your eyes away from my face, my arse is actually worth a look now

Remember when I told you I could lose weight, but you'd still be ugly?

You'se guys is my people! Wisenheimers!

:-)

Q: How much weight have you lost?

A: How much have you gained?

Laughed out loud!!!! They're are all funny, but the ammo shortage really cracked me up!!

To entertain myself I thought up bad answers to frequently asked questions posed to WLS people:

"Is the food OK?" (asked because you ate so little)

Oh, yes, I haven't had food this good since the Turkish prison.

"Isn't weight loss surgery the easy way out?"

Yes, it is. I was going to shoot everyone smaller than me to make myself look average but there is an ammo shortage.

You wise guys got any?

Heard at least five times in the first month post-op:

Q:"I thought you had weight loss surgery?"

A: "Yes, but they don't cut away 100 lbs of fat, just like they can't cut stupid out of you!"

And, some other favs:

Q: "How much are you going to lose? You are too skinny already."

A: "As much as I want to. Too bad I am now thinner than you and you need a new fat friend to make yourself feel better."

Q: "Are you allowed to eat that?"

A: "Are you my doctor?"

Lynda

Why did you have surgery?

I wanted to practice my Munchaunsens Syndrome... (look it up)

Lynda, just snorted my drink out my nose (in a coffee shop!) at your last answer. If I had a pound for every time one "friend" says "are you allowed that?" I would be rich. I think I have always been the fat friend that makes her feel better about her weight..

To date, what I want to say but could never say out loud is "When you weigh less than me, I might consider listening to you" but your answer would pull her right up!!!!

And Arts, not sure you are even on this planet, lol, but it's funny...

Lynda, just snorted my drink out my nose (in a coffee shop!) at your last answer. If I had a pound for every time one "friend" says "are you allowed that?" I would be rich. I think I have always been the fat friend that makes her feel better about her weight..

To date, what I want to say but could never say out loud is "When you weigh less than me, I might consider listening to you" but your answer would pull her right up!!!!

And Arts, not sure you are even on this planet, lol, but it's funny...

I am rarely on this planet,

... he is mad. Tis true... Tis pity tis true; tis true tis pity,

And pity tis tis true...

Hamlet

You are very well read despite being slightly unhinged ????

When I was in the losing phase someone (another mom at the school where my kids went) said to me:

"Girl what kind of crack coccaine are you on...because you are getting so skinny!"

I replied with:

"OMG, crack would have been soooooooooo much easier than what I did"

And then I didn't elaborate because we were just having the exchange in "passing"...lol

Now that's one I have to remember!

"Don't you have alot of loose skin after losing so much weight?"

"I'd rather look like a Shar Pei naked than a beached whale fully clothed"