Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Hello Everyone

I am very new to this site, but already love it. I feel like I am among friends here. I have started the process of going having the sleeve surgery. I do not have an surgery date yet; waiting on insurance.

My husband and I were talking today about life after the surgery. I have decided to keep my surgery, not necessarily a secret, but more like a select amount of people will know that I had it done. We have noticed some patients lose weight rather quickly...so what will people think about my rapid weight loss. I have been overweight for about 7 years because of many spine operations, so being overweight right now is a given. But, I do not want people to look at me as if I am doing something illegal, or that I am sick because I am losing weight too quickly.

Maybe my question is weird, but I just want to know if any of you have experienced this situation. What do you tell people if they ask? I am not ashamed at what I am doing, and looking forward to having the surgery done. My spine needs some relief from the extra weight. I just come from a very nosey family, and gossip spreads rather quickly.

Thank you in advance for all of your comments and suggestions.

Danielle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a very private person and my medical information is not public domain.

When people ask me how much weight I have lost I say "a bunch." When they ask me what I am doing I say "I'm working really hard." Both are absolute truth. It allows me a polite reply and also a message that this is not something up for discussion.

I was a yoyo Dieter for years so I have been doing this every year when I lost 30 pounds starting every January and gained 25-35 by each December.

Good luck to you, life post sleeve is amazing!

For me, my weight is not what I am about so it's not a topic I discuss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a very private person and my medical information is not public domain.

I SO agree!!!!

I try to be vague as well when people ask me. They're not looking for a real scoop anyways, it's just small talk usually. I will usually ask them something about themselves and off they go --- people love to talk about themselves! And then the attention is off me :)

I do have to say though, that if one of my obese friends or coworkers were to sit down with me and genuinely ask how I was doing it, because they were in that desperate same place that I was not so very long ago, I would tell them. I feel it would be cruel not to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, and for what it's worth -- people at work who see me every day are only just now noticing that I've lost weight (I've lost 80 lbs!!!!).

And they had already noticed a change in my eating behaviors waaaay back in the beginning, before they noticed I lost weight, so in a way it is very easy for them to believe that I've done this solely through lifestyle change. And let me say that my success IS through lifestyle change....I just have this awesome tool to help me :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm just owning it before I even have the surgery. No one has really given me any flack, but I'm not known as someone too overly concerned about others opinions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I Am 4 Months Out. June 24th, Down 51 Lbs. I don't Feel Uncomfortable Sharing. I Do However Wait To Be Asked. If They Don't Ask I Don't Offer. I give thanks for the compliment (while smiling ear to ear). If Asked What are you doing? Or how are you doing it? I Tell The Truth. Nobody Has Come Right Out And Asked "Hey Did You Have Weight Loss Surgery?" Its More Like "So Are You Working Out A Lot? Then I Share. Eventually Everyone Finds Out. I would rather put it out there than mislead. That's not to say that everyone should share, I understand that not everyone is comfortable discussing such personal choices. I Made A Choice And Feel Good About. It Was Almost A Year From My First Bariatric Surgery Meeting Until My Surgery. Gave It A Lot Of Thought, Learned A Lot And Chose To Move Forward. I'm Happy With My Decision Thus Far, And Sharing Is Easy For Me. If people are going to "gossip" about your decision, my guess is that they're already gossiping about your weight, (I know a lot of people in my life did). no matter what you do people will always have something to say. My hope is that you too will find your comfort zone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I SO agree!!!! I try to be vague as well when people ask me. They're not looking for a real scoop anyways' date=' it's just small talk usually. I will usually ask them something about themselves and off they go --- people love to talk about themselves! And then the attention is off me :) I do have to say though, that if one of my obese friends or coworkers were to sit down with me and genuinely ask how I was doing it, because they were in that desperate same place that I was not so very long ago, I would tell them. I feel it would be cruel not to.[/quote']

I love your answer to my question. I think if one of my obese friends sincerely wanted to know I would tell them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I Am 4 Months Out. June 24th' date=' Down 51 Lbs. I don't Feel Uncomfortable Sharing. I Do However Wait To Be Asked. If They Don't Ask I Don't Offer. I give thanks for the compliment (while smiling ear to ear). If Asked What are you doing? Or how are you doing it? I Tell The Truth. Nobody Has Come Right Out And Asked "Hey Did You Have Weight Loss Surgery?" Its More Like "So Are You Working Out A Lot? Then I Share. Eventually Everyone Finds Out. I would rather put it out there than mislead. That's not to say that everyone should share, I understand that not everyone is comfortable discussing such personal choices. I Made A Choice And Feel Good About. It Was Almost A Year From My First Bariatric Surgery Meeting Until My Surgery. Gave It A Lot Of Thought, Learned A Lot And Chose To Move Forward. I'm Happy With My Decision Thus Far, And Sharing Is Easy For Me. If people are going to "gossip" about your decision, my guess is that they're already gossiping about your weight, (I know a lot of people in my life did). no matter what you do people will always have something to say. My hope is that you too will find your comfort zone.[/quote']

Thank you Tracy. I agree if they are going to gossip they are already. Thank you for such kind words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell a sole at first. When it became apparent that I was losing weight and people told me I look good I responded with "thank You". When someone asked me how I did it I told them the truth. It has all been good responses so far. I really don't care what they think anymore but that comes with time for a lot of us. If you want to wait until you are through the recovery and losing then wait. You will know when you are ready. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a very private person and my medical information is not public domain. When people ask me how much weight I have lost I say "a bunch." When they ask me what I am doing I say "I'm working really hard." Both are absolute truth. It allows me a polite reply and also a message that this is not something up for discussion. I was a yoyo Dieter for years so I have been doing this every year when I lost 30 pounds starting every January and gained 25-35 by each December. Good luck to you' date=' life post sleeve is amazing! For me, my weight is not what I am about so it's not a topic I discuss.[/quote']

Thank you newat52! You are right weight isn't a topic.

THANK YOU ALL for making me feel better about this. I really wanted to know how other sleeve patients handled the question . Thank you do much; peace of mind here :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told all my family and friends before the surgery. No negative reactions. Now I have to tell everyone else because I would never be able to remember who knows, and who doesn't. Best for me to just tell everyone.

Besides, it's kinda funny seeing the look on people's faces when I tell them I had weight loss surgery. Sometimes it's like I've told them I had a sex change!

On my soapbox here: we are on the leading edge of VSG surgery. We can help remove the stigma of weight loss surgery by being open about our positive experiences. Maybe that makes it easier for the next person. Maybe it helps more companies add the option to their insurance policies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On my soapbox here: we are on the leading edge of VSG surgery. We can help remove the stigma of weight loss surgery by being open about our positive experiences. Maybe that makes it easier for the next person. Maybe it helps more companies add the option to their insurance policies.

Well put! :) Cindy you are absolutely right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told all my family and friends before the surgery. No negative reactions. Now I have to tell everyone else because I would never be able to remember who knows, and who doesn't. Best for me to just tell everyone.

Besides, it's kinda funny seeing the look on people's faces when I tell them I had weight loss surgery. Sometimes it's like I've told them I had a sex change!

On my soapbox here: we are on the leading edge of VSG surgery. We can help remove the stigma of weight loss surgery by being open about our positive experiences. Maybe that makes it easier for the next person. Maybe it helps more companies add the option to their insurance policies.

I know a lot of people get on their soapboxes about this subject. I'm so glad you are doing what is best for you.

My personal opinion is that most people know about WLS. You can't watch TV or listen to the radio and not know about. I just don't feel like I need to be the poster child for it.

If there is a stigma, I believe it is self imposed. I am not ashamed in the least that I have taken this positive step in my life. Some people just don't talk about medical issues, of any sort. I'm one of them.

Like I said before, everyone's path is different and I surely respect whatever path someone takes.

I'm just very proud of us all for taking this step. I know in my heart it will go down as one of the best things I could have ever done for myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell anyone who asks me the truth. Honestly, I am proud of what I have done, It was a very pro active step for my health and my life. It has improved me in ways I never saw connected to even weight, as I was never very unhappy with my weight, though looking back now, I do realize what it has done to my health. I want people to know abut this option, because It works and there are so many people who suffer with the hoplessness of up and down dieting, and this tool, could give them the hope they have searched for and may not have even realized it. Never be ashamed, or think it was an easy way out, but rather a great way to gain control of your life, and though it is not easy, it is successful, and worth every step of the journey

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What do you tell people if they ask? I am not ashamed at what I am doing, and looking forward to having the surgery done. My spine needs some relief from the extra weight. I just come from a very nosey family, and gossip spreads rather quickly.

Thank you in advance for all of your comments and suggestions.

Danielle

If people ask me how I'm losing weight I tell them that I'm eating less and exercising more. If they ask me if I've had WLS then I tell them, yes I've had the surgery, but only 1 person in 10 months has asked if I've had WLS.

Here's my video on To Tell or Not Tell people you've had WLS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×