I can't believe we're finally on the losers bench! Congrats to everyone on this side of the journey. Keep us updated with your progress.

Our April first peeps are Deana Wright, MissMeagan and Nella. Ladies, tell us everything!

God bless you..

Well here is my update. I finally feel emotionally ready to share it with u guys. I found out at my appt Mon that I have lost the babies. It was probably the worst day of my entire life. I can't even put words to how the last few days have been. I had hope to be able to pass them naturally and that has not happened..and my dr told me could possibly be more difficult at 10 weeks. I go today for my d&c. It's definitely not what I wanted or even planned. I'm finally in a phase I'm starting to feel some what better and can hold my head up without crying nonstop. I've basically avoided all of my friends and even my family. I just couldn't handle the pity and words they would feel they were obligated to tell me. It makes no sense to me and I don't think it ever will. It's so hard to come from 2 babies and seeing tiny heartbeat to having nothing. At this point I'm just wanting to work through my grief. There will be no more babies as my husband and I just don't feel we can do this again. This is our 2nd miscarriage together and my 4th total. It's hard to swallow a crackhead can do it' date=' a 14year old girl can do it..and so many other that don't want their children or the ones who abuse them. I have no answers and it hurts to even think about it too much.

At this point I'm trying to do as my husband keeps suggesting and focus in on the positive. It's hard to see and feel right now but there is some there. I do have a beautiful and wonderful 10year old who is the light of my life and I have love of a wonderful man. I want to try to focus in more on myself. Continue this journey I started and try to max it out to the most. That's all I want right now...to feel ok. I want to thank y'all for all the love and support. You guys are the most amazing friends I could ask for. I will try to get back in touch with u guys when this is all over. If u have a moment and time for a extra prayer..I could really use it today.[/quote']

Massive hugs and tissues! This brought tears to my eyes and you of all people do not deserve this.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 247 RNY 4/11/2013

I'm so sorry to hear this!!!!!

Mz Shay

So so sorry to hear of you and your family's loss. Praying that you will find comfort. I do feel your pain. I have lost 3 babies. I will never forget them. I wanted a baby so bad. I actually felt stabbing pains in my heart on the way to the doctor and realized that is what a broken heart feels like. It was the worse pain I have ever felt. I always thought that having 'a broken heart' was just a saying, until I actually felt it. 7 months later, I lost another baby.....further along and even more painful. Seeing someone pregnant, knowing people who were undeserving of a child were able to have them, kids having babies, all of this made me angry. People having abortions and throwing them away would infuriate me. I hated the world for a long time. I did have a baby girl a year later. . My 2nd husband and I lost a child early in a pregnancy as well about 9 years ago. The heartache was bad. Take time to heal. Stay close to each other. Stay healthy. Pray together. Know that you are not alone. We are here for you.

So we decided today take a road trip tomorrow. ..to Texas! We are taking my mother in law back home. She has been with us for 3 months. My husband had the opportunity to take some time off so we are gonna go. Leaving in the am and hope to drive straight through. Not sure how my back will handle this but I wanna get away so im going. I figure it is already bad so what more can happen?! Wll try to be back by next Friday but are just gonna see what happens and go with the flow! Gotta for sure be back by monday the 21st as my son has his sleeve that day. Packed all my protein and yogurt and beef jerky and pain meds so I should be good to go! Wish us safe travels and no breakdowns!

So we decided today take a road trip tomorrow. ..to Texas! We are taking my mother in law back home. She has been with us for 3 months. My husband had the opportunity to take some time off so we are gonna go. Leaving in the am and hope to drive straight through. Not sure how my back will handle this but I wanna get away so im going. I figure it is already bad so what more can happen?! Wll try to be back by next Friday but are just gonna see what happens and go with the flow! Gotta for sure be back by monday the 21st as my son has his sleeve that day. Packed all my protein and yogurt and beef jerky and pain meds so I should be good to go! Wish us safe travels and no breakdowns!

Hurry back I miss you already!

HW 358 SW 344 CW 247 RNY 4/11/2013

Hurry back I miss you already!

HW 358 SW 344 CW 247 RNY 4/11/2013

Dont worry my dear! I'll still be on here! I'll probably bore you all with my travels!

Hello all. 13 hrs into our drive. I am tired and my back is killing me but my husband insists on trying to drive the last 10 hrs straight! I may fly home!!

Chicken got me once again. Why do I even try it?? I hate the foamies!

Foamies suck! Maybe try again in a month?

Chicken scares me, as does tuna. I stick w/my 'safe' foods now. I'm healthy and it's working, so why not? But thinking towards the coming holiday... I'd like to be able to eat a little turkey w/everyone else. :-)

Had my first glass of wine last night. It was yummy and no buzz.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 247 RNY 4/11/2013

Feeling really down! At laat i am back on meds for mental problems and i have picked up 4 pounds! ;-( this in under 2 weeks. I am supposed to lose, not gain! This freaks me out!

Alaina, i do not have any words. I cant imagine the devastation. I keep you and your husband in my thoughts all the time. And i send you lots of love and hugs.

Xxx

Well here is my update. I finally feel emotionally ready to share it with u guys. I found out at my appt Mon that I have lost the babies. It was probably the worst day of my entire life. I can't even put words to how the last few days have been. I had hope to be able to pass them naturally and that has not happened..and my dr told me could possibly be more difficult at 10 weeks. I go today for my d&c. It's definitely not what I wanted or even planned. I'm finally in a phase I'm starting to feel some what better and can hold my head up without crying nonstop. I've basically avoided all of my friends and even my family. I just couldn't handle the pity and words they would feel they were obligated to tell me. It makes no sense to me and I don't think it ever will. It's so hard to come from 2 babies and seeing tiny heartbeat to having nothing. At this point I'm just wanting to work through my grief. There will be no more babies as my husband and I just don't feel we can do this again. This is our 2nd miscarriage together and my 4th total. It's hard to swallow a crackhead can do it' date=' a 14year old girl can do it..and so many other that don't want their children or the ones who abuse them. I have no answers and it hurts to even think about it too much. At this point I'm trying to do as my husband keeps suggesting and focus in on the positive. It's hard to see and feel right now but there is some there. I do have a beautiful and wonderful 10year old who is the light of my life and I have love of a wonderful man. I want to try to focus in more on myself. Continue this journey I started and try to max it out to the most. That's all I want right now...to feel ok. I want to thank y'all for all the love and support. You guys are the most amazing friends I could ask for. I will try to get back in touch with u guys when this is all over. If u have a moment and time for a extra prayer..I could really use it today.[/quote']

Oh my goodness... I am just so sorry. I will pray for you and your husband. I can't even fathom the devastation. Just try and focus on every positive God has given you, but certainly cry when you need to. Sounds like your husband is a great support. Lean on him and let him support you as much as he's able. ((Hugs))

Well here is my update. I finally feel emotionally ready to share it with u guys. I found out at my appt Mon that I have lost the babies. It was probably the worst day of my entire life. I can't even put words to how the last few days have been. I had hope to be able to pass them naturally and that has not happened..and my dr told me could possibly be more difficult at 10 weeks. I go today for my d&c. It's definitely not what I wanted or even planned. I'm finally in a phase I'm starting to feel some what better and can hold my head up without crying nonstop. I've basically avoided all of my friends and even my family. I just couldn't handle the pity and words they would feel they were obligated to tell me. It makes no sense to me and I don't think it ever will. It's so hard to come from 2 babies and seeing tiny heartbeat to having nothing. At this point I'm just wanting to work through my grief. There will be no more babies as my husband and I just don't feel we can do this again. This is our 2nd miscarriage together and my 4th total. It's hard to swallow a crackhead can do it' date=' a 14year old girl can do it..and so many other that don't want their children or the ones who abuse them. I have no answers and it hurts to even think about it too much.

At this point I'm trying to do as my husband keeps suggesting and focus in on the positive. It's hard to see and feel right now but there is some there. I do have a beautiful and wonderful 10year old who is the light of my life and I have love of a wonderful man. I want to try to focus in more on myself. Continue this journey I started and try to max it out to the most. That's all I want right now...to feel ok. I want to thank y'all for all the love and support. You guys are the most amazing friends I could ask for. I will try to get back in touch with u guys when this is all over. If u have a moment and time for a extra prayer..I could really use it today.[/quote']

I don't know what to say except my prayers are with you and your husband ....wishing you peace and strength {{{{hugs}}}}

SW 363lbs Surg Date 4/16/2013 CW 280lbs

Ajustice

I am so sorry. I do hope that things get better you and your family. I'm sending you as many hugs as I possibly can right now.