Best and worst "compliments"

[ImLooznit 171]

People love to JUDGE others, I had not seen my family since before my surgery. I traveled home for Thanksgiving, I had a brother and sister in law, walk in the room and I kid you not did not say a WORD about how I looked, SIS in law sat next to me for an hour playing cards, and 130 pounds less of me did not say ONE word about it. I say it is jealousy, really, I am HALF the size I was when you seen me last and you don't see anything to even say your looking good? Let them live in THEIR misery. That is the problem. We cannot change THEM. You all hold your heads up high, you are doing what is right for YOU and YOUR body. Don't let anyone change your mind, lets all just laugh at them under our breath!

[skikyd 165]

<p>People love to JUDGE others, I had not seen my family since before my surgery. I traveled home for Thanksgiving, I had a brother and sister in law, walk in the room and I kid you not did not say a WORD about how I looked, SIS in law sat next to me for an hour playing cards, and 130 pounds less of me did not say ONE word about it. I say it is jealousy, really, I am HALF the size I was when you seen me last and you don't see anything to even say your looking good? Let them live in THEIR misery. That is the problem. We cannot change THEM. You all hold your heads up high, you are doing what is right for YOU and YOUR body. Don't let anyone change your mind, lets all just laugh at them under our breath!</p>

I usually try to give people the benefit dope the doubt. But I think you are right. Your relatives are jerks.

" living well is the best revenge"

[Healthier2day1227 326]

From my mother in law last weekend: your getting so thin you don't have a butt anymore. Lol...gotta love her!

[kvlasy 195]

From a man I work with this week: "So, you've lost some weight"

Me: "I have"

Him: "did you do that voluntarily?"

Uh, WHAT?!

[Healthier2day1227 326]

<p>People love to JUDGE others, I had not seen my family since before my surgery. I traveled home for Thanksgiving, I had a brother and sister in law, walk in the room and I kid you not did not say a WORD about how I looked, SIS in law sat next to me for an hour playing cards, and 130 pounds less of me did not say ONE word about it. I say it is jealousy, really, I am HALF the size I was when you seen me last and you don't see anything to even say your looking good? Let them live in THEIR misery. That is the problem. We cannot change THEM. You all hold your heads up high, you are doing what is right for YOU and YOUR body. Don't let anyone change your mind, lets all just laugh at them under our breath!</p>

Unbelievable! Congrats on 130 that's amazing!

[Bombs 353]

I would have accidentally-on-purpose stuck her in the face with her own nail file

love it!

[crowsnestmama 240]

Best- You look so much younger! -You don't even look like the same person! (Which is ok with me because I didn't really like that girl they are talking about)

Oddest-you look a 1/4 of what you used too! (Laughed in my head, little did they know they just said I looked like a cow before)

Worst-I thought the sagging face skin was supposed to happen later. (Seriously?!? I had a winter head band in and no make-up! Bloody hell! This from a by-pass patient just over a year out!!!)

See- I do look like a different person!!! Lol!!! The left on was 2 years before I realized I HAD to make a change but it isn't my highest weight. The right was today.

[sifford1 27]

I think that the jealousy thing is funny, skinny people complement until they figure out you may get thinner than them, then they want you to stop because heaven forbidyou look and feel as good , if not better! and oddly enough , I find the bigger people are faster to criticize, and resent! I get more negativity from over weight, than underweight people! On another note, My mom gave me a some what complement , she said "honey your butt is getting small pretty soon I won't have nothin to smack! " First off, I don't want a small but, I like curves, and second, the last time I was this weight she was telling me how big I was getting! We got into a huge fight and I told her to keep my weight out of her business! Now I'm back at this weight coming down, and she says I'm looking good?! Confusion! !!!! Really , you think I'm looking good now , but you didn't before lol! Funny! I love my mom, but my perception of words is sensitive!

[erp 2,016]

Great before and after crowsnestmomma!

[planetheather 137]

Best (maybe): "Oh my gosh, you look so FRAIL!" --coworker seeing me for first time in a year.

So, I Skyped my husband that night and asked if I was looking sickly. He said, no but that my weight loss was most noticeable in my face. Umm. Thanks. I'd lost 65 pounds at that point and gone from a 26 to an 18 in jeans. How ginormous was my head before?

[Jessicaz1984 207]

I heard a good one the other day!! "What are you trying to disappear?" Lol wasn't sure if that was a compliment or a dis but it made me smile either way!!

[buplee 556]

I ran into someone who was with a coworker whom I hadn't run into in years who was shocked to see the new me. He asked me what happened, stating he heard about my multiple surgeries. I told him that I have revamped my lifestyle and lost a lot of weight. He told his coworker how much I used to look and his colleague kept staring at me. He smiled and said finally said, " I can't believe you were ever overweight". That was a nice thing to hear.

[xmarycontraryx 234]

I'm only three weeks out from surgery and every time my mom or dad come by (which is almost daily) they say something to the effect of "hey skinny!" I'm also being asked daily how much weight I've lost.

Is it horrible that I'm beginning to find this very irritating? I'm about 150 lbs away from skinny (SW 317 CW 273) and every time they call me skinny I just cringe because I'm not and it makes me feel worse about myself.

How do I tell my incredible loving and supporting parents this? They were there waiting for me in the hospital and my recovery and have been so supportive of my choice. Is it best that I just keep these thoughts to myself?

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I'm only three weeks out from surgery and every time my mom or dad come by (which is almost daily) they say something to the effect of "hey skinny!" I'm also being asked daily how much weight I've lost.

Is it horrible that I'm beginning to find this very irritating? I'm about 150 lbs away from skinny (SW 317 CW 273) and every time they call me skinny I just cringe because I'm not and it makes me feel worse about myself.

How do I tell my incredible loving and supporting parents this? They were there waiting for me in the hospital and my recovery and have been so supportive of my choice. Is it best that I just keep these thoughts to myself?

I know they mean to be supportive, but the work "skinny" is fraught with emotion just like the word fat. First off, it is not who you are as a person. Fat is not a state of your humanity and skinny isn't either.

I have known skinny people who are hurt by that label, they don't want to be underweight, they have issues with getting weight on. I don't like being called skinny now either, I am normal weight and size.

I wonder if you can gently tell your parents you love their support, but losing alot of weight is a long journey and that the word "skinny" just reminds you of how far you need to go? Or something along those lines.

I lost 160# during this sleeve journey and I did NOT do it thinking OMG...159# to go and i will be "skinny". Instead, i just kept working the sleeve, worked toward mini goals and kinda took it one day, week and month at a time. When your weight loss slows, as it will, I should think feeling the pressure tobecome "skinny" might become a headtrip.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Also - sometimes the loss is noticable in the face (not always in a good way) but it tends to sort of even out. Dont let it stress you out... sometimes my face bothers me but everyone tells me I actually look way younger, not older now. My face is my dismorphia, I am told I am pretty but i don't feel that way. Flip side, I am very pleased with my body so at least that part of my head is good and positive.

Also, I once complimented someone on her amaziing weight loss only to find out she had stage 4 cancer. I felt absolutely horrible. So, yeah, compliments can be dangerous and i understand why someone might ask if it was intentional even though that sounds stupid.