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Best and worst "compliments"



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Yesterday a co worker told me my face has too many wrinkles now and I look sickly. I told her "with friends like you I don't need any enemies" and I walked away. Another person who I haven't seen in a while said "you've gotten so thin, are you ok?" But on a happy note my daughter came home from college and said "wow mom you look great!"

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I have not had my surgery yet - Its scheduled on Feb 10, 2014. My so called "best friend" (who is skinny) said something to me that really upset me the other day. We were sitting at a table with 2 other people, a man who used to weigh over 400 pounds (he now weighs 225, he lost the weight on his own) and his overweight wife who is a bit smaller than me at 280 pounds. I announced to the 2 people that I was having weight loss surgery in Feb. My "BFF" then said, "If it was me, I'd just stop eating." I looked at her in disbelief and the told her to STFU. Then she got REALLY mad at me for telling her to STFU in front of other people. We are still not speaking. She does not think she did anything wrong. I think that comment was offensive and disrespectful. Should I forgive her?

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A lady at work said,Oh your pretty...me- bish, I was fat not ugly....

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<p><sub><span style="font-size:14px;"><span style="font-family:'lucida sans unicode', 'lucida grande', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:18px;">I have not had my surgery yet - Its scheduled on Feb 10, 2014. My so called "best friend" (who is skinny) said something to me that really upset me the other day. We were sitting at a table with 2 other people, a man who used to weigh over 400 pounds (he now weighs 225, he lost the weight on his own) and his overweight wife who is a bit smaller than me at 280 pounds. I announced to the 2 people that I was having weight loss surgery in Feb. My "BFF" then said, "If it was me, I'd just stop eating." I looked at her in disbelief and the told her to STFU. Then she got REALLY mad at me for telling her to STFU in front of other people. We are still not speaking. She does not think she did anything wrong. I think that comment was offensive and disrespectful. Should I forgive her?</span></span></span></sub></p>

People can be so ignorant! You deserve an apology but you probably won't get one. Now that I'm down 70 lbs I have enough confidence to keep negative people at a distance,

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I'm only three weeks out from surgery and every time my mom or dad come by (which is almost daily) they say something to the effect of "hey skinny!" I'm also being asked daily how much weight I've lost.<br><br>

Is it horrible that I'm beginning to find this very irritating? I'm about 150 lbs away from skinny (SW 317 CW 273) and every time they call me skinny I just cringe because I'm not and it makes me feel worse about myself.<br><br>

How do I tell my incredible loving and supporting parents this? They were there waiting for me in the hospital and my recovery and have been so supportive of my choice. Is it best that I just keep these thoughts to myself?

Take any ad every implement you get. You deserve it. Even if you don't think so.

You DO deserve it. Enjoy!

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<p><sub><span style="font-size:14px;"><span style="font-family:'lucida sans unicode', 'lucida grande', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:18px;">I have not had my surgery yet - Its scheduled on Feb 10, 2014. My so called "best friend" (who is skinny) said something to me that really upset me the other day. We were sitting at a table with 2 other people, a man who used to weigh over 400 pounds (he now weighs 225, he lost the weight on his own) and his overweight wife who is a bit smaller than me at 280 pounds. I announced to the 2 people that I was having weight loss surgery in Feb. My "BFF" then said, "If it was me, I'd just stop eating." I looked at her in disbelief and the told her to STFU. Then she got REALLY mad at me for telling her to STFU in front of other people. We are still not speaking. She does not think she did anything wrong. I think that comment was offensive and disrespectful. Should I forgive her?</span></span></span></sub></p>

I don't know what to say about her.

I have had some negative push back from people I would have least expected it from.

They letter came around. I and everyone here have struggled and lost the the struggle to " do it on our own".

YOU. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU. NO ONE BUT YOU. You have to do what right for YOU. I don't know if you should forgive her..... But screw her.

Do what works for you.

The person that gave me the most shit before, Has changed and is now one of my biggest fans.

Screw everyone. Do what works for YOU.

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A neighbor said " is that you?"

Have you lost weight.?

I said. " yes... And I am not sick. It was some hard work."

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I was sleeved on July 11 2013. I posted my before and after pictures at 5 months and was a little shy to do so. So many of you commented on how I looked younger and how I looked like my daughter from the before pictures of me. One person said congratulations on finding the fountain of youth! I loved that and laughed hard. Best complement ever!

There was only one person that is an old dear friend of mine. He lost 100 pounds on his own and has diabetes. When I told him I was having surgery he said he would not recommend it because the majority of the patients put the weight back on. It made me feel sad that he was not on board with me. He still does not have anything positive to say now that I have lost 90 pounds. -_-

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Has anyone let friends go who weren't supportive? Sleeving tomorrow and I am thinking my friends need to change especially those who won't embrace my healthy focus.

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Has anyone let friends go who weren't supportive? Sleeving tomorrow and I am thinking my friends need to change especially those who won't embrace my healthy focus.

I had to let my live-in boyfriend go after my day- long appt with the surgeon, psychologist and NUT. came home so excited and ready for this new lifestyle change. I shared all the information I had just learned with him, including the tough recovery and lifestyle change that was going to affect us both. He had absolutely no interest or intention of changing with me although he had tried every diet fad around. He just couldn't share the excitement with me.

I was so determined to start a new, healthy life that I knew having him in it would derail or sabotage my journey. It has been three months since he moved out and while the breakup was heartbreaking, I have no regrets. With every pound I lose I have my family and close friends to Celebrate and support me. I prefer to think of losing him as just losing 300 lbs of guilt and frustration!

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Worst: your face is too thin, you need to stop.

B***h, have you seen my thighs?!?

I don't say it, just think it.

Oh and: how much more do you want to lose? 30lbs

That's too much!!

Wow, my surgeon and dietician don't think so, but maybe I should trust you instead of their educated and experienced opinions....nah, maybe not!!!

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Has anyone let friends go who weren't supportive? Sleeving tomorrow and I am thinking my friends need to change especially those who won't embrace my healthy focus.

I had to let my live-in boyfriend go after my day- long appt with the surgeon, psychologist and NUT. came home so excited and ready for this new lifestyle change. I shared all the information I had just learned with him, including the tough recovery and lifestyle change that was going to affect us both. He had absolutely no interest or intention of changing with me although he had tried every diet fad around. He just couldn't share the excitement with me.

I was so determined to start a new, healthy life that I knew having him in it would derail or sabotage my journey. It has been three months since he moved out and while the breakup was heartbreaking, I have no regrets. With every pound I lose I have my family and close friends to Celebrate and support me. I prefer to think of losing him as just losing 300 lbs of guilt and frustration!

Thanks Mary! That is a big change!

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Saw an old acquaintance at a party. As she passed our table, I got up to greet her and she kept walking. As I said her name, she looked at me blankly and then jumped in shock. She said she had seen my husband and had imagined the worst that he was accompanied by another woman. What a thrill. I've become the other woman in just better than 6 months.

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WAIT!! Hold the freaking bus!! People keep saying above that "so and so did it on their own"?!?! What the HAY!?!? Is someone else losing this weight FOR me?? I am losing it "on my own", too.

amen, sister!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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