Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How do you handle attention from the opposite sex now that you've been sleeved and are SUPER HOT?



Recommended Posts

When I notice it, I am flattered and a little bit embarrassed. It is not immediately obvious to me but once it becomes obvious I feel good. My husband says he likes it when he notices other men checking me out, he knows I am his.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife told me she enjoys seeing women looking at me, because she knows they can't have me. She may sound cocky but she's right. There is only one women for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll try that. I am taking baby steps trying to get used to the emerging me. I can't understand how I can do so well professionally and yet be so critical of myself. My wife and I have a trip booked for later this year to the Caribbean, maybe I'll be a bit more comfortable by then. It will be our first trip to a beach in 28 years, and I owe it to her.

Like BTB said, it takes time for your mental "image" of yourself to catch up to where you are physically in this journey. I have lots of old photos of myself when I was morbidly obese (not as many as I would have liked because usually when the camera came out I would hide, or be the one 'behind' it...) so sometimes I will sit and sift through those old photos to *remember* where I came from. I wasn't a miserable, depressed, binge-eating person before my sleeve, but I was unhappy living in a body that was too large for me to be comfortable and I was unhappy with my relationship with food. So while I don't think that my personality changed much in this process, I always say that I finally feel like my "outsides" match my "insides"...I was here all along, just no one saw me the way I saw myself.

If that makes any sense....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm only half way to goal but I still notice the attention quite a bit. It's the most bizarre feeling. My whole life I wanted to feel good and have that attention and now that I have it, I hate it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like BTB said, it takes time for your mental "image" of yourself to catch up to where you are physically in this journey. I have lots of old photos of myself when I was morbidly obese (not as many as I would have liked because usually when the camera came out I would hide, or be the one 'behind' it...) so sometimes I will sit and sift through those old photos to *remember* where I came from. I wasn't a miserable, depressed, binge-eating person before my sleeve, but I was unhappy living in a body that was too large for me to be comfortable and I was unhappy with my relationship with food. So while I don't think that my personality changed much in this process, I always say that I finally feel like my "outsides" match my "insides"...I was here all along, just no one saw me the way I saw myself.

If that makes any sense....

That's EXACTLY how I feel about myself now [pre-sleeve]. All of my issues with my weight are completely mine. I've been very lucky to never have had to deal with any bullies and I've managed to make friends in all situations because of my personality, I've even dated people. I definitely don't hate myself, I don't even hate my body - how can I hate the thing that allows me to live this life? I'm just not happy with how I've treated it and not happy with the health risks of staying obese, and that's why I want the surgery.

Sorry, that was such a threadjack. I just haven't seen another person who shared my feelings so I wanted to comment on that!

Like I said, I'm pre-sleeve right now. But at one point I lost about 35 pounds and I immediately noticed a difference in who talked to me and what was being said. I also noticed the difference when I gained it back. It didn't bother me that much that I knew they wouldn't have been interested if I was at my highest weight. If I don't like the way my body looks at this weight, why would I expect someone else to? and if they don't know me yet, what else is there to assess? It's human nature to be more open to meeting more attractive people. It doesn't make us fat people any less lovable, we're just perceived differently!!

I have a theory that a big part of who talks to you or is interested in you before/after your surgery is in how you feel about YOURSELF. If you are full of self-judgement and you're tearing yourself down, that's reflected in how you carry yourself. If ALL of your body language is saying "don't come near me, I don't like myself, I'm not comfortable in my own skin" then how could anyone really break that barrier? Sure, some do, but if we're talking just running into people on the street, chances are they'll pick up on your body language and not talk to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been sleeved yet but hell yeah I wanna get hit on! I can't wait to see people I haven't seen in like 2 years and have my "suck it" expression on my face! I live in Chicago I can't wait to be skinny and go to a bears game in a tight walter Peyton jersey and jeans. I'm married and I can't wsit for my hubby to be proud of me and show mw off

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife has being buying all of these trendy clothes for me. She said she like the attention I get when we're out. Of course I don't notice women looking at me. I also find it amusing since I still have at least 40lbs to goal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WTF man everyone is hating on me these days

I'm not jumping on the hate bandwagon and taking potshots at you. However, I think it's the amount of naked shots you post. I know you're proud of your accomplishments but some might find it a bit much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I ve been married forever but I am noticed lately which feels good and wired..so strange and perplexing....I am not sure how to deal with it...I will likely nervously laugh I did have an instance where I was by myself at a country bar doing surveillance and someone asked me to dance so I danced I never would have done that 42lbs before and you know what it wasn't bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's weird when you realize a person isn't looking at you and giving you full on attention because you are smart and funny. I'm finally starting to make the connection but the first few times it happened I thought my fly was unzipped or I had spinach in my teeth. I'm starting to realize when it happens I'm being checked out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been sharing the before and after pictures with my wife (who was in awe and stunned) and she posed this question. Do you get attention from people of the opposite sex who previously ignored you? Are you flattered' date=' insulted, or embarrassed. Sound off my fellow sleevers.[/quote']

Well I'll letcha know when I get there :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something I have noticed is wearing that big old diamond on your ring finger isn't necessarily a deal breaker for guys! I just celebrated my birthday with friends at a bar, and I was dancing with some girls and this guy came up from behind and started dancing on me....which I don't mind, but then he tried to kiss my neck...which is the 3 rd time this has happened to me since losing all of my weight! I don't understand why some men think that that is ok to do! I turned around, shook my finger at the guy and pointed to my ring...all while being completely intoxicated...which was great because my husband was watching me and that guy, and he got to see that even when I am drunk I only have eyes for him! Good thing I didn't let that guy kiss me! Hehe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of us see past the material things, and even the physical, to the person inside. Brains, sense of humor, similar morals - that's the important stuff. The rest is transient 'gravy'.

Hmmmmm... Gravy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmmmm... Gravy!

Oh, Butter....I said the magic word, didn't I?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×