Need support not doing the right things at 3 weeks pre op

[FRED1977 186]

I just need some support I'm not doing well this weekend I have been doing less than what is expected of me.... I have been so stressed this last 3 weeks and I had a crash of drinking a few beers so far tonight . I just need some support feeling like I'm just a mess up right now....

[italian-girl 152]

Nobody is perfect. Everyone is gonna slip at some point, you just have to remember why you had the surgery and remember to stick with it... Tomorrows another day, so you lost a battle today you still have a war to win. Keep your chin up.

[italian-girl 152]

Rather why you decided to have the surgery**

[aumum 41]

Sounds like you need a new way to de stress yourself :/ Maybe a boxing bag! Just don't be to hard on yourself and try harder tomorrow.

Just wondering does the beer cause you pain since its carbonated?

[Wayless 52]

We wii make mistakes and we will get past them, that is the new way. Previously we made mistakes and they put us in a downward spiral. You will be okay, you need to believe in yourself.

[BigDaddyJoe 246]

What exactly is expected of you? I know all doctors are different, and some have some pretty crazy expectations before surgery. I only had to do one week of a pre op diet. Before that week, I made sure to eat everything I loved that I knew I wouldn't be able to eat for a while. Doctors requiring people to do long term restrictive diets before surgery, when they have most likely failed at them in the past which is what led to them doing something drastic like surgery, just seems counterintuitive to me. They 'sell' the surgery as a tool to help people be successful where they have failed in the past, so why set them up to feel like failures before surgery?

That being said, The surgery IS a tool, but it doesn't do it all for you. You still have to make the right decisions about what you put in your body. It becomes much easier, because you become much less interested in food, at least in my experience. There have been times where the sleeve has saved me from myself, where I would have completely sabotaged myself if I was only doing a diet. As an example, fairly early on I was stuck in a 2 week stall. I was frustrated that the scale wasn't moving and questioning why I put myself through this. I was driving past Taco Bell and decided to stop and get some. I was only able to eat a half of a soft taco. Hardly sabotage. In the past, I would have engorged myself with food and given up on the diet. The next morning, I woke up and was down 3 lbs.. I'm now 5 months out and down 85 lbs., and at my doctor's goal already. I'm amazed at how well I've done, and think it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. You won't even remember this pre op stuff a few months from now, so don't let it get you down.

[SuzyB 182]

This is one slip up, it doesn't mean it has to mean the end of good choices. You can start now and make different choice rather than having a beer.

[FRED1977 186]

Sounds like you need a new way to de stress yourself :/ Maybe a boxing bag! Just don't be to hard on yourself and try harder tomorrow.

Just wondering does the beer cause you pain since its carbonated?

No it just has a bad taste to it sometimes but is not really worth it

[No game 14,436]

It sounds like you may benefit from not only getting support here, but perhaps some counseling or even a support group in your area might be helpful too?

You are pretty early out and few beers in one night is not really good but I'm sure you know that.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

This is a sincere question asked with neither malice or judgement, but I add the disclaimer because tone is subjective. And we sleeved can be rather sensitive.

Are you looking for absolution or a help up/guidance?

[No game 14,436]

What exactly is expected of you? I know all doctors are different' date=' and some have some pretty crazy expectations before surgery. I only had to do one week of a pre op diet. Before that week, I made sure to eat everything I loved that I knew I wouldn't be able to eat for a while. Doctors requiring people to do long term restrictive diets before surgery, when they have most likely failed at them in the past which is what led to them doing something drastic like surgery, just seems counterintuitive to me. They 'sell' the surgery as a tool to help people be successful where they have failed in the past, so why set them up to feel like failures before surgery?

That being said, The surgery IS a tool, but it doesn't do it all for you. You still have to make the right decisions about what you put in your body. It becomes much easier, because you become much less interested in food, at least in my experience. There have been times where the sleeve has saved me from myself, where I would have completely sabotaged myself if I was only doing a diet. As an example, fairly early on I was stuck in a 2 week stall. I was frustrated that the scale wasn't moving and questioning why I put myself through this. I was driving past Taco Bell and decided to stop and get some. I was only able to eat a half of a soft taco. Hardly sabotage. In the past, I would have engorged myself with food and given up on the diet. The next morning, I woke up and was down 3 lbs.. I'm now 5 months out and down 85 lbs., and at my doctor's goal already. I'm amazed at how well I've done, and think it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. You won't even remember this pre op stuff a few months from now, so don't let it get you down.[/quote']

But he's not pre op....

The sleeve can't really "save" you from yourself. it will help you for you consume less food yes, but it doesn't stop you from putting crap in there. Also it will lose it "saving" powers after the first year when you will be able to naturally eat more.

I'm not picking on you, but I feel it's important to know, we need to work on our heads with our relationship with food (and drink) and find out why we are medicating with it. and not rely to much on the restriction to stop us...

This surgery is not a miracle and it is not a cure...

[BigDaddyJoe 246]

But he's not pre op....

The sleeve can't really "save" you from yourself. it will help you for you consume less food yes' date=' but it doesn't stop you from putting crap in there. Also it will lose it "saving" powers after the first year when you will be able to naturally eat more.

I'm not picking on you, but I feel it's important to know, we need to work on our heads with our relationship with food (and drink) and find out why we are medicating with it. and not rely to much on the restriction to stop us...

This surgery is not a miracle and it is not a cure...[/quote']

Yes, I totally understand that. I also know that I didn't have surgery to be on the Atkins diet for the rest of my life. I didn't need surgery to do that. I want to still be able to eat some things I enjoy, in moderation.

[No game 14,436]

Yes' date=' I totally understand that. I also know that I didn't have surgery to be on the Atkins diet for the rest of my life. I didn't need surgery to do that. I want to still be able to eat some things I enjoy, in moderation.[/quote']

Yes... I don't think it's necessary to do the Atkins diet. But the sleeve isn't always going to save you, that was my point. And I wouldn't consider a few beers that early out moderation.

I do not buy food and eat and eat until me sleeve jumps out at me to stop. I need to take some personal responsibility and control myself.

I see enough people that come back here a year out or further that have gained most of their weight back to know that this is not a infallible surgery.

I guess what stood out to me was the eating because of a stall in weight.. That's emotional eating not living life in moderation. Big difference.

[BigDaddyJoe 246]

Yes... I don't think it's necessary to do the Atkins diet. But the sleeve isn't always going to save you' date=' that was my point. And I wouldn't consider a few beers that early out moderation.

I do not buy food and eat and eat until me sleeve jumps out at me to stop. I need to take some personal responsibility and control myself.

I see enough people that come back here a year out or further that have gained most of their weight back to know that this is not a infallible surgery.

I guess what stood out to me was the eating because of a stall in weight.. That's emotional eating not living life in moderation. Big difference.[/quote']

I agree with you.

I agree, eating because of a stall in weight was emotional eating, and weakness. But that's how I got to be heavy in the first place, and how I ended up ruining several diets. It happened early on, before I had fully accepted all of the lifestyle changes it takes to be successful. All I was saying was that if it wasn't for the sleeve and I was just dieting, I would have failed like I had in the past, due to that weakness. Now that I'm 5 1/2 months out (and below my surgeon's goal weight), I notice that I could eat more if I wanted. I no longer get that uncomfortable feeling telling me to stop like I was in the beginning. However, even though I could eat more, I don't. That is the result of doing the right things and making the right choices, something I was able to do with the help of the sleeve. It took some time and adjustment to get into the right mindset and change lifelong habits.

[No game 14,436]

I agree with you.

I agree' date=' eating because of a stall in weight was emotional eating, and weakness. But that's how I got to be heavy in the first place, and how I ended up ruining several diets. It happened early on, before I had fully accepted all of the lifestyle changes it takes to be successful. All I was saying was that if it wasn't for the sleeve and I was just dieting, I would have failed like I had in the past, due to that weakness. Now that I'm 5 1/2 months out (and below my surgeon's goal weight), I notice that I could eat more if I wanted. I no longer get that uncomfortable feeling telling me to stop like I was in the beginning. However, even though I could eat more, I don't. That is the result of doing the right things and making the right choices, something I was able to do with the help of the sleeve. It took some time and adjustment to get into the right mindset and change lifelong habits.[/quote']

Yes, I too have have done the same exact thing on previous diets! Hell I've even succeeded at some of the diets (like a doctor supervised 8 month program) lost all the weight then was "done" with the diet and went back to normal life only to gain all the weight back again.

This surgery, for me, is my last chance really. I will not have a second weight loss surgery if I fail at this one. That's why I like to be painfully blunt with others and MYSELF (because at the end of the day, I too used food to medicate myself) I truly get that even with this surgery success or failure is completely in my hands and my hands only.

You have done well. And beating your surgeons goal is quite an accomplishment.