I'm so excited! I'm having a lower body lift in 7 hours. For the cosmetic surgery challenged, that's like a tummy tuck combined with a butt and thigh lift. Ya, painful! I'll post some before/after pics soon. But rest assured, they'll be HOT!

Puddin - Yes! I do love it! Man, 6 months? Luckily, I don't think I have that much swelling. I guess I will just wait and see what happens! Thanks for your reply!

Glad you popped back in, Puddin. I don't think you are bringing anyone down--it's up to people to choose what threads they want to read!

I hope things are going better for you and that you have found some help. You have lots of people pulling for you! Keep us posted--I hate to invade upon your blog if you've made attempts to make it more private. I'm thinking of you and praying for you--you CAN overcome this!

Today i started thinking about getting the lapband surgery, and then stumbled upon this website. Puddin... we are just too much alike, right down to being a Gemini!! I can totally understand where you are coming from. So many things you have said I have heard myself thinking or saying. It's so overwhelming! I don't know if you have seen this movie ( I tried to email this to you) But it stuck such a cord with me and how I tend to let men use me, waiting for them to decide if we are going to be in a relationship, etc. But go rent "Holiday" and find your gumption. I live up in Sandy so if you need someone close by to lean on let me know

welp, not coming to SL anytime soon. things did not go well with oldest daughter at youngsts graduation. she is so negative and in a down spiral of self distruction that only she can get herself out of.. she was soo drama, at the after party, I finally got pissed and told her off, in front of alot of people. my husband got in the middle of us or she'd be black and blue. dont know where this negative focus she is in came from but I cannot let that negative suck the life out of you environment into my space. so, she is on her own. she needs to grow up and this is one fight mamma cant fight for her, I dont even want to fight it for her, she sucked my energy out more than the 100+ guests and twin 3year olds. being a mom sucks sometimes!!!

ok pitty party for me... it over now! things will be happening in my life the next weeks so I wont post much but good luck puddin and keep positive, just remember the only things we control in life is our reaction to situations, we are accountable for that reaction and the consequesnces that follow.

take care!

Hello all. New here and awaiting lapband. I just can't wait until the weight is gone and I can have the LBL or TT and bl. You all look so great. I started reading this thread and had to read the whole thing...all 400+ posts. I feel like I know all of you already.

Puddin,

I can so relate to all you write about. I am 51 now and needing lap band surg but in my 20's I was hot and wild. Lot of emotional and self esteem issues and I guess trying to prove to myself I was attractive and lovable. In my brain sex=love. Time, maturity and mostly the love of a wonderful man made me realize my value. Unfortunately he died after being together 10 years and 2 kids 17 yrs ago. Just beginning now to be interested in meeting men. Unfortunately, men don't want to meet me. Weight never kept me from meeting men. It was an internal thing. I mean, if I don't like myself why would anyone else like (love) me. When I start losing weight, exercising and taking care of myself if must show or something because all of sudden I attract men. Not there yet this time. The point is, love yourself and others will love you. Hard to get to that place though. I would love to have access to your blog and get to know you better. You, Brenda and Telly are truly my inspiration...

cathy

Hey all again!

Well I'm glad to hear it doesn't bring y'all down. I would like to say that I have been incredibly ashamed for my behavior over the last few months, but I'm really, really feeling the desire to not give into it. I've been celibate for a few weeks now and it feels wonderful. I have CHOSEN to remain celibate. That's the kicker. Sick of being a victim here. I had decided to stop dating for awhile, but then I thought "Hey! How's that gonna help? Just stop dating the bad boys and CHOOSE not to do bad things." Guess what? It has been working. I eliminated the bad boys from my life and have only been dating the ones who are respectful. Yes, the temptation is still there, but the desire to overcome the addiction and also be true to my relationship with God is greater at this point. I also realize that sex and even making out ruins relationships.

I have been dating this guy Aaron quite a bit lately. Yes, we made some really bad mistakes on the first and second dates awhile ago. I didn't think we'd survive after that, but after deciding not to date for a week or so, we just set up some rules. No being out past midnight (and often 10:30), always with other people unless we're in public, no kissing except at the end of the date when we're standing and about to leave, no cuddling unless other people are in the room, no sexual innuendos, we read our scriptures together at the end of the date or, if we're not together, we read them on the phone each night (yes, I know this is cheesey). And the rules seem to be working. And GUESS WHAT? We have a NORMAL, stress-free relationship because of it. Yes, we have to deal with the sins that we committed together and it still may be the demise of our relationship. I don't know. All I know is that I like not feeling guilty the day after a date. I like having him write me poetry and call me at 12:30 to tell me he just woke up and wanted to hear my voice. He'd never respect me if we continued to sin. And I've been able to tell him my sordid past. He knows and he still likes me. Says he knows I am a good girl, I just had a brief stint in rebellion. I know the same about him. He's a good guy, just made a mistake.

Okay, enough about that shiznit. Brenda, I'm super sorry about the blowup with ya daughter. I hope you can work things out, and selifshly I hope you can because I want to actually meet you in person and have you come to SLC. You rock. How are things going now with her?

What wonderful news, Puddin! GOOD FOR YOU! And good for Aaron. Hope your friendship and commitment to your values stays strong. YOU CAN DO THIS! Way to go.

Puddin,

You sound happier than you've been in quite some time. I am thrilled for you.

puddin, there are several books written by pastor (? exact title) DOUG WEISS about sexual relationships and sexual addiction in the light of god's will/ scripture.

he suggests that single persons (especially women) form a relationship with a happily married couple in their congregation... to get support and have accountability.

I'm very happy that you've found relief! Please keep posting here! We enjoy reading your threads! You're very charismatic, and magnetic, and dynamic! It's so inspring to read about your new found lease on life.

Hi I'm new to this site and I too have been reading the posts. I am going for a consult on Wednesday about the lap band and I'm ready to start a new life. I have a question to the gals who have breast lifts, I know that they remove the aerola and nipple then sew it back on- so are they now numb? I was wondering because I would hate to lost that part during sex. Not that my husband would like to touch me- we have been celibate for over 2 1/2 years. He doesn't like sex- never has, he considers it a duty and I really have given up on it. We are christians but he was gay before. It is such a mess. He is a very personable guy, but I really don't know what to do. We have children and have been married 27 years. I have wanted to divorce him so many times, but I live in denial about it all and about my weight and about everything.

wowee.... you deserve a whole new thread for this post, "nume130". I would suggest hitting the "New Thread" button, cause I think you'll be getting an earful!

I don't know why I said anything, I don't ever talk about it. I can't believe I did that.

Nah, don't feel bad!! You SHOULD talk about it, but you'll want 'your own' area to keep it all separate. Really, I didn't mean anything mean by that. I definitely think it needs talking about :hug:

Argon / Nume - I posted a PM to Puddin just the other day saying I was thinking of starting a new thread myself to discuss the "sexual" problems I think many of us are having. For some like Puddin' & I it's the urges to do things we feel are wrong for us. For Nume & Lepez it appears to be the lack thereof. They seem to be opposite ends of the spectrum but I suspect they are a lot closer in reality. I've really wanted to talk to someone about the problems I'm starting to have but have been too afraid to post online for fear my husband might somehow find the threads. And don't have anyone else around I can talk to about it considering my own christian background. Not that all my friends are christians but even they have placed me in a certain role that they expect me to conform to. But things are getting bad enough I feel I really need to talk to someone even at the risk of my husband finding it.

I will try to start a new thread and post a reference to it on this thread. Probably sometime next week. If anyone else wants to start one sooner please post a reference to it here so I can find it. I actually searched for nearly an hour earlier this week to see if I could find one already started on Lapbandtalk and even though I found several mentions of sexual addictions and other problems like here they were always on fairly non-related threads.

PS - Puddin - Good going you do sound like you are starting to feel some hope. Speaking as someone who went through this once before in my 20's, once you are able get to the other side, try not to let it drag you down for life. After all once God has forgiven you that is it, and to continue to beat yourself up about it would only be doubting his grace.

I am sorry ladies, I am new to all this. I have started a thread called Intimacy in the support forum. Lepez, can I talk to you there?

I was wondering if anyone had the answer to my question on breast lifts:

I have a question to the gals who have breast lifts, I know that they remove the aerola and nipple then sew it back on- so are they now numb? I was wondering because I would hate to lost that part during sex.