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hey, not needing support is not the same as not listening and you know it! you are listening, you just arent hearing it now. you will, I am sure you have recalled a few things you heard from your past lessons learned and experiences. that is life and that is how we learn. you are a smart woman you know how to do things and succeed. positive attitude and outlook go a long way!

trust yourself, others see great potential in you, you just need to see it yourself.

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Puddin - if nothing else we are here to listen.

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Ladies, I hit a new low. I feel like the cheapest slut right now. Monday night I went over to Brady's house knowing full well what would happen if I went over. Sure enough, within 5 minutes of arriving we were taking off our pants. I can't believe what I've done. This is so incredibly out of character for me. My car broke down at his house and I ended up sleeping with him and then doing it again yesterday morning. I felt so incredibly cheap.

I think the gravity hit me yesterday afternoon. Who the hell is this girl??? To the outsider, I seem very put together. My cousin, who knows what's going on with me, just said, "You're the girl everyone thinks has their priorities straight. We were all so excited when you lost the weight because you were like the perfect girl before, only a big girl. I guess there were other issues." Kinda hurt when she said that, but it was true. I just sat and cried hysterically to her. I got a little bit of a judgemental response from her, but she still loves me and she's willing to help me through this. I think I might tell my parents. It scares the hell out of me, but I think they can help me.

Okay, and you guys are going to think I'm stupid for doing this, too, but I'm still very happy I made this decision: I called Kori because he's the only person in the world I know who has had a sex addiction and has, at least in a way, been able to control it. I felt safe in doing this because I don't feel like I want him in that way any more. We talked for a couple hours. He gave me some incredibly good advice along with some hope that it can be overcome. He's doing so well and I was really, really relieved to hear it. For a long time I blamed myself for him relapsing. It's good to hear that he's been problem-free since the end of December, even while seriously dating another woman for 3 months. I keep thinking, "How am I ever going to be able to date someone I'm attracted to?" He's like the addiction guru, probably because he's the male version of me. So he's been calling or texting me frequently, making sure I'm not screwing up, giving me advice on how to deal with temptation, etc. Today is day 2 of my 21-day program. Just 21 days. I can resist for 21 days. He says it will be harder and harder until day 7, when I'll start to see the light. And day 14 is relapse day for a lot of people, but if you can pull through you can make it to day 21. So this is the new goal. I'm tired of feeling so cheap. I want to feel like superwoman again.

I know not all of you are religious, but for me, I feel like the Lord is the only person who can truly save me at this point. I am powerless on my own right now. He can lift me up and I know this can be washed away. I can be made whole again. I know that for the next while I will really, really want to give in again. I know at any second I could call Brady and he'd be over, but I have to overcome this. I have to. If I don't, it will destroy me. Please tell me this is possible!

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Georgia, it is totally possible. You have taken the first step - setting yourself a goal. Work towards that. Focus on why you are doing it and how you will feel when you get there. And while I am one of the non religious people, I strongly beleive that when I was going through my trouble a while back, a higher power was definitely looking after me. You God is watching over you, and will pull you through this.

Let me just say this though - you are not a slut. You did something that you regret and are trying to start over. Just please please don't let the expectations of other people of you being the perfect girl control you. Be you. Thats all you can do. None of us can be perfect and its not fair of people to put those kinds of expectations on you.

And, after all that Kori did, I am glad that he has been able to help you through this. Maybe that is the reason he came into your life. To help you through this to become a stronger woman.

You'll get through this, in your own time and in your own way.

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You can do it! 21 days is a good number. Thats because thats how long it takes (at least) to really break a bad habit. Focus on all the positive things you get from not giving into temptation-- thats positive encouragement. And also on all the negative things that you get when you do give into temptation-- thats negative encouragement. They are complementary types of encouragement.

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It is possible. All things are possible through Christ, and he will strengthen you. Chin up, Georgia. You will get through this. :)

Sam

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Georgia: I think that sleeping with Brady was a way of punishing yourself, telling yourself that you are bad. You have got to stop thinking of yourself in negative ways! Heavenly Father loves you no matter what! You can do this. You need to get a different focus and stop thinking about yourself. Volunteer serve others, you know the drill. Good luck!

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Hey, just got a great idea??? to get your mind off the 21 days, come to MT Ive got lots of painting - outside and in, yard work, geting ready for last kids graduation, and she wants a princess fluff like a wedding party. we wanted outside keg and roasted pig thing, so put on your party pants or paint pants and I'll buy the airline ticket.

GAME???

seriously need a time out away from your current surroundings? look me up, we'll find "something" to do. I do like to shop in SL and have a kid there. need to deliver furniture sometime.

help me out Gretchen, ideas ideas, ideas. LETS GO SHOPPING ONLINE TOGETHER???

You can do this, you just put on your superwoman cape and stay focused and positive. Hey, post a thread on the great things that happened to you today. good hair day? butt looked cute in your jeans anything that made you feel good. start a feel good thread.

mine..

got a lead on buyer wanting home in Lewistown she is coming from Florida next week and wants me to show her a few houses. oh yea, need that commission!!

Took photo with group and my hair looks great!

Was told I looked like a movie star! ok by 60+ year old woman havent seen in years but a movie star non the less!

your turn Gretchen, what is great in your life today???

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Puddin Can I Ask, On Your Tt, Did They Do Any Lipo? I Went To A Ps Today, He Didn't Want To Do Any Lipo On My "muffin Top" With The Port Being In There. I'm A Little Freaked That Just Pulled Down On The Top Will Really Be Enough. Cutting The Bottom Out And A Little Lipo On The Sides If Needed Isn't A Problem He Said. Any Advise? Thanks :)

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Puddin Can I Ask, On Your Tt, Did They Do Any Lipo? I Went To A Ps Today, He Didn't Want To Do Any Lipo On My "muffin Top" With The Port Being In There. I'm A Little Freaked That Just Pulled Down On The Top Will Really Be Enough. Cutting The Bottom Out And A Little Lipo On The Sides If Needed Isn't A Problem He Said. Any Advise? Thanks :D

Howdy

Yes, I asked my doc and he did lipo on the top. And yes, my port sticks out. Nobody notices unless, well, they feel my stomach or see my bare stomach. I'm okay with it. Maybe your doc wants a little "padding" on the top so your port won't stick out so much. Either way they have to reposition the port.

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I'm sorry for being absent the last little while. To be honest with you guys, I've been back and forth. During the day I feel intense sorrow and guilt, but shaky and almost going through withdrawals. Then the moment one of these men call I calm down again. I've made a few mistakes since even Brady last week, with both Tony and Travis. But it's time to 'shit or get off the pot', pardon my french. I feel like running away and hiding from life. Last night was another stupid, naive moment for me. "Sure, let's go biking with me and your buddies," I said. Um, no, I think he planned the makeout. I think this guy really likes me, and that's what kills me about last night. It's as if he likes me, but REALLY doesn't respect my boundaries. I said at one point yesterday after moving his hand for the 50th time, "Travis, why do you gotta keep pushing it?" So he stopped, just for a bit, then pushed the line again and again until we were nearly having sex. I stopped it in a moment of sanity. Then I left. It was the smartest thing I've done all week.

Saw a counselor this morning, and he was very surprised at how quickly I'd declined. But that's what intense internal conflict does to you. And it's all from my own doing. So today is a new day. It's day 1 again. I'm leaving my old life behind. The men, the lack of self-respect, the promiscuity, I'm running away from it and starting a new life. The old one's not workin. There has been no personal fulfillment in being validated physically by men, only intense pain. SO b'bye Georgia. Don't let the door hit you on the wait out.

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Georgia, have you talked to the counselor at all about addiction transfer? Maybe not having the food anymore is causing you to want to abuse the sex stuff?

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Hey Georgia,

I think being able to be honest with yourself is very important. Realizing that you're having this issue, this struggle, as opposed to denying it is a good step. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could help, I really do.

Remember God loves you and he wants the very best for you, just like we do here.

Sam

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