I'm having a mini nervous breakdown. Like cry my eyes out and write letters to my husband and kids. I'm so freaking terrified of surgery and feel almost convinced that I will be the 1% mortality. I also feel like I cannot continue to live this way. Did anyone else feel like this or am I having some sort of premonition?

I feel exactly the same. I am having a mini meltdown' date=' too. A year ago, I started the process but backed out as it was getting closer to surgery. I decided, yet again, that I would really give exercise and diet another chance. Well, here I am after a year at the same weight. So, I am going back to the doctors on Friday to start again. BUT, I am literally having a meltdown. I am so worried I am going to die and that because I think it, it will happen. On he flip side, I cannot stand myself at my current weight. If I don't have this surgery soon, I will need both knees replaced and hide inside forever.

Hang in there. I think it is the guilt one feels like it is not a "real surgery" or something to be ashamed of because we are overweight. Also, it doesn't help when all your family and friends think it is a cop out or the worse decision in your life. I have been going to therapy biweekly because I need to talk it through with a professional before I go insane.

When is your surgery?[/quote']

I'm waiting on a date but it should be in a month or so. Maybe talking to a shrink is a good idea

I might be the wierd one out because I went through it alone and didnt freak out/cry. I went under a bit confused but smiling...

I think if you do this, there is no time for regrets or what ifs.

I'm having a mini nervous breakdown. Like cry my eyes out and write letters to my husband and kids. I'm so freaking terrified of surgery and feel almost convinced that I will be the 1% mortality. I also feel like I cannot continue to live this way. Did anyone else feel like this or am I having some sort of premonition?

I think we all had that feeling but 4 weeks later I caught a blood clot. My surgery date was 6/25. That's when I thought I was really going to die. Thank GOD, it didn't happen.keep praying for me and i'll do the same....

Reality check here. Do you freak out every time you get into a car and head out on the roadway? You do realize that your chances of being in an accident and injured/killed are MUCH greater than the risks of this surgery.

Good luck with your surgery.

Reality check here. Do you freak out every time you get into a car and head out on the roadway? You do realize that your chances of being in an accident and injured/killed are MUCH greater than the risks of this surgery.

Good luck with your surgery.

Luckily, there is a logical part of my brain screaming "HEY, surgical nurse..how many patients have you had die in surgery?"....the answer is 0.

Luckily' date=' there is a logical part of my brain screaming "HEY, surgical nurse..how many patients have you had die in surgery?"....the answer is 0.[/quote']

Hey, that's great! Just keep reminding yourself of that.

I fly twice a week, every week. And I have a deep-seated fear of flying. I have to remind myself every time a plane takes off or gets ready to land (the most dangerous part of a flight), that the ride to and from the airport is actually the most dangerous part of the trip. Otherwise I'd never be able to fly,

I was the same way days before I had dreams I was going to die doing surgery,the day before surgery I took all my grandchildren out to there favorite place which is chunky cheese so yes there all under 5 lol but I wanted that time with just me and them ,I had already went on the best vacation with my husband the week before my surgery so I said the things to him I needed to say, I just felt I havnt had enough this on this earth with my grandkids ,but the day of the surgery I was very clam not even nerves I really had a relax feeling over me ,and IM so happy I made it threw great and I don't remember I thing last thing I can remember was rolling down ths hall way and I told the nurse ok IM ready for the spa lol she said yes u r and I was out like a light so I think they gave me the knock out med on the way to operating room ,becuz I never saw the room and IM happy I didn't becuz I think I would have been afraid then

Worrying is very counterproductive, your fears are actually quite irrational.

To echo what most everyone else has said: this is normal. I made a living will, a last will and testament, AND setup my medical power of attorney, you know... to cover all my bases just in case. I also wrote a lovely letter to my fiance telling him goodbye and reassuring him and also telling him exactly what to do if things go wrong including which world renowned scientist must be contacted if I was in a coma. Did I over-think and over-prepare? I don't think so, because knowing that all my ducks were in a row helped me to be calm as they wheeled me off to surgery. Some may call it obsessive, but I think it's better to be what I like to call "aggressively prepared" than the alternative.

And I'd like to disagree that worry is unproductive and that your fears are irrational. These fears are quite normal and rational as you are about to voluntarily let someone carve up your insides. And worry is extremely productive! It's what makes you prepare!

I too wrote letters to my husband and 2 boys telling them how much I loved them, the joy they had bought to my life

Sorry hit send too soon. I also outlined my hopes and aspirations for them. I gave them the letters and told them to open them when I was in recovery or if anything happened. I am not too good at vocalising my thoughts so it was an opportunity for me to tell them how much they mean to me. My eldest son called me afterwards and thanked me for the letter and said it had mde him cry.

You are not crazy at all- completely normal. I did have a complication from surgery and still didn't die. LOL. Incredible pain for 5 days and I truly did feel I was dying, I wasn't. The body is an amazing thing. I'm feeling 100% now and even with my complication surgery was 100% worth it!!! You will do fine.