I need Advice!

[gmanbat 5,889]

What a forum! The depth of care here is amazing. So much empathy with this youngster and her wonderful mother!

Wannabaloser, I like your plan. Your daughter is in good hands. You are covering all of the bases.

I have little to add. I was pulling for a time of homeschooling or a tutor while your daughter made some transitions but you said she did not do well before with homeschooling. Could some adjustments be made? I was glad that a poster attended her future school and didn't experience bullying. If you send her there I hope for the same outcome.

You are a mother that will fight like a wounded grizzly for your child. It is a joy to behold!

[wannabaloser 59]

She is going to start out at public school. I fully believe kids need that social aspext of life, especially when we are in a new city and theu don't know anyone.

If she has any problems I will pull her out and home school again until the weight is resolved.

That being said, I think everyone goes through some meanness at school, even the "beautiful people".

Mine bullying was not for looks but for sex. I was called a ***** at school because boys were saying I was having sez with them. The ironic thing was I was a virgin until I met my husband.

One boy tried to get me to have sex with him and I turned him down. He couldn't handle that so he told everyone I did it. Then another boy tried, I told him no but I had already had sex supposedly wity someone else and he couldn't fail so he said I did. This happened several times.

Lets just say I understood the movie Easy A better than most.

I had alot of boya asking me out in high school but I never knew if it was because they like me or because I was easy.

Even after that I sincerely loved high school and don't want my kids to miss out on it, the good and the bad.

My daughter is different than me though. I never cared what people thought about me so I just denied it and went on with my life. She is very shy so if it gets bad I will pull her out quickly.

Like I said, I pray this program works but if not I have no problem with thw surgery as the alternate.

I will not make her go through life obese, miserable, and slowly killing herself when a possible cure is so easy.

[NoneYa 380]

Wow, i am so impressed with you and your family. It cannot ever be said that you did not think through every aspect of this situation or that you didn't do everything possible for your daughter so ensure her success. With so much support in place she cannot fail. Whether she loses her excess weight with diet, surgery or a combination I have no doubt she will lose it and have a long healthy life ahead of her.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I just want to say that you are an amazing mother, OP! Wow, what an opportunity you are giving your daughter! Even if the new plan fails, she will be more prepared for the surgery than a lot of people are. The transition to a healthy lifestyle is the most important part of this process! She is very lucky to have you as a mom!

[Ready4Change13 9]

I think you are right for doing the surgery with her. I'm 20 years old been overweight since I was 12 I was teased, my life was a complete and utter hell! I wish my mom would have looked into the surgery at 14 for me! I think you are definitely doing the right thing!

[Michellemo 161]

You should have the surgery first. I guarantee she will also loose weight because you are going to be eating different and cooking different and that will have an affect on her. My son was not over weight before I had surgery but was a good healthy muscular 16 year old. He weighed 178. Since my surgery every time we go out to eat we share a meal and we still have food left on our plate! I cook way smaller amounts and don't keep junk food around and he has lost about 10 pounds. Now he looks even more muscular and he loves that. I'm not saying dont let her have surgery just do it first and let her see what it's all about. I was a over weight child so I know how hard it is. Good luck!

[wannabaloser 59]

Oh thank everyone for being so nice!

It's nice to have people say your a good mom when you have 2 teenagers who disagree with everything that comes out of your mouth!!

I can honestly say, without a doubt, this was the hardest decision I have ever made.

My daughter got to help decide and she kept saying "why can't you just tell me what to do like everything else"!!

She is used to making impulse decisions and this was very hard for her. She was very scared of doing surgery and there was a medical reason for her sudden weight gain and lack of loss and the surgery not working.

She is scheduled for the beginning of Christmas break but if I see the diet and recovery is too much to deal with in such a short amount of time plus being the holidays then we will reschedule for the day after school gets out.

Thanks again for being so nice and helpful. I had never thought of some of the things people brought up including how was I going to take care of her at the same time as me. I am a super fast healer and have a high threshold for pain so I just assumed I would be able to handle it but there's always a chance that won't happen.

[wannabaloser 59]

You should have the surgery first. I guarantee she will also loose weight because you are going to be eating different and cooking different and that will have an affect on her. My son was not over weight before I had surgery but was a good healthy muscular 16 year old. He weighed 178. Since my surgery every time we go out to eat we share a meal and we still have food left on our plate! I cook way smaller amounts and don't keep junk food around and he has lost about 10 pounds. Now he looks even more muscular and he loves that. I'm not saying dont let her have surgery just do it first and let her see what it's all about. I was a over weight child so I know how hard it is. Good luck!

Hey, I saw your tracker and we are starting out with almost exact stats. I am curious how long it took you to lose the weight?

[sleeve_29 1]

Im 19 and have been obese all my life. I wish my mother would have taken control like you have to help your daughter lose weight! I say discuss it with her and a counselor and go for it! Best of Luck!