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I wish I had anything helpful to tell you, GT. Just know that I'm in the same kind of inexplicable spiral you are, and that I do believe we will eventually pull ourselves up again. For now: Hugs from afar. <3

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Florinda, I don't know anything but you describe picking at skin,out of control housekeeping etc...could your current weight gain be a symptom rather than cause of your distress? If you had weight loss rather than gain what would you do to feel better in these other areas? I ask this because it becomes a habit to blame everything on being heavier than we want but maybe the underlying issue is something else.

I am trying exercise/kickboxing again... after a week of resting my knee.

I am doing so good in so many ways but every once in a while I feel that sense of panic...what am I doing with my life??? I wish I could let go of this thinking but it rears its head sometimes. Today it hit me because i made a choice to go out with Steven rather than do fun stuff with a group on Saturday and I have people annoyeded at me over it. I am annoyed at me over it...like what am I doing? It is a very small thing actually but it made me feel like I am blowing in the wind rather than setting my own course. This was just over going out..Haha...on serious matters I feel similarly rudderless at times.

I told my friend Shawn that I made one goal, it is fitness related and it made me feel good to have a plan for one thing in my life at least.

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Obviously it is a symptom CGJane, but at this point, like I said, it has become a vicious cycle and it is now both a symptom and a cause.

and oh yeah by the way, I HAVEN'T BEEN PAID YET. My first paycheck and I haven't received it yet - was supposed to get it Friday. AND, someone stole my effing lunch today. Because yeah, steal the GD LUNCH from the only girl who hasn't been GD PAID yet, and who is on a GD DIET. the lunch was finely diced veggies with about 4 oz chicken, garlic olive oil and a splash of balsamic vinegar. @##%**%$@#!#*&&&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Man, must be a bad moon rising! Im feeling it too, but trying to get things done, so I feel like Im at least getting things done. Found my new car with a tack in the side of one of the tires today... letting air out... I have all wheel drive and may have to replace all 4 tires when one needs to be replaced. Thats around $700+. I have $1000 saved to my name. Other things are going OK, weight is not really one of them, but I went and bought 4 pairs of cute pants, one sie up, and at least I am not reminded about my wieght gain by the tight fit of my pants. Boo!

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Eff'n Well said! :D I can still fit into my skinny jeans, but the spare tire is not pretty. I can reallys see the regain sitting on the middle. Blub. I don't want to protes too much, its not 30 and I have been there too... but it is just such a pain in the ass.

That's Exactly it! All my regain (well, most) is Now I have a "hangover" in the middle that I Did not have! Now, it worries me that with my age I'm going to really have this hangy skin by losing and regaining etc. Even if it is only 10-12 pounds! What a huge difference!

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Man, must be a bad moon rising! Im feeling it too, but trying to get things done, so I feel like Im at least getting things done. Found my new car with a tack in the side of one of the tires today... letting air out... I have all wheel drive and may have to replace all 4 tires when one needs to be replaced. Thats around $700+. I have $1000 saved to my name. Other things are going OK, weight is not really one of them, but I went and bought 4 pairs of cute pants, one sie up, and at least I am not reminded about my wieght gain by the tight fit of my pants. Boo!

Are you kidding? One tire goes bad and you have to have a new SET??

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They tried to convince me of that and I refused as the tires were newer. I bought a new pair. Truck tires...over $300 a tire!!!

Well, I guess the benefit of plastics - I wear my clothes very fitted and no gut hang over. Each pair either zips or doesn't. No smoosh to squeeze in! I am trying to decide how important this really is to me as right now, 140 seems impossible and I am feeling remarkably"ok" at158. I still think I need a cushion so maybe trying for 150-155 is more realistic.

I just started intensive exercise again and ironically this is so strength oriented I may easily gain fitness without losing weight. Decided I should measure and photo my muscle definition since that is another way to view progress.

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I'm like you coops, 3lb down for January. The scale was good for this weeks weigh in so for February I'm down 2lb and I hope it continues to go down. Having the trainer back helps as I train with her for an hour on Tuesday which then seems to give the momentum to exercise 3 further times in the week. I can't say I like exercise but I do appreciate that it is a necessary evil for me.

Florinda, hope you have sorted your pay out and found your thief or left a little laxative in the next box!

I find it amazing that virtually all of us are fighting some regain, at least we all know how the others feel.

We've got this Ladies.

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Bah just lost my post - trying again

 

I am up post - Superbowl which is no surprise. As my father in law would say I have "Plumpinosis". I am working my way back down towards those lower calorie days which make me feel better in every area, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. 

The cookie monster showed up at our house for the big game bearing football shaped Cookies and green and blue frosted cupcakes - these little gems has had myself and my family pooing fluorescent colors ever since, which leads me to beleive that they are not something I should ever eat again lol.

 

We will have to deal with this madness for the rest of our lives - Florinda, please don't be too hard on yourself, I can absolutely relate to how you are feeling and reacting right now. It is so easy to get into the mode of beating ourselves up when we feel that we have somehow failed - but you haven't! 

 

If you can make a little list of 3 things that make you feel good about yourself and try and do those things each day - I find it can go a long way towards helping self-esteem. Writing down our food, Water, Vitamins for the day, crossing some simple chores of the list, doing a load of laundry, etc. When it gets bad just take it a minute at a time. It is just fine that we aren't perfect - we should never expect that from ourselves. We just need to do the best we can on any given day - and often times, being kind to ourselves is both the hardest thing to learn, as well as the most challenging - I know it has been and continues to be for me.

 

Hang in there guys - love ya and today is another chance for us to feel better about ourselves!

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Denise - how are you doing? Infection free still? I hope you are able to keep infection at bay.

I am doing pretty good - super busy at work - enjoying working out again (although frustrated at elbow, knee and other disasters)..haha

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I have a sore throat, exhaustion, chills, itchy throat, runny nose, painful sinuses, lack of appetite, but I have to be at work because I only earn 3 sick days per year.

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I have a sore throat, exhaustion, chills, itchy throat, runny nose, painful sinuses, lack of appetite, but I have to be at work because I only earn 3 sick days per year.

:( Thats crazy. Even my sh*t job offers more than that. I have 6 weeks of sick saved up.... Others at work use them for hangover monday and such...I figure if I am REALLY sick, I want to be able to take the time off. 3 days is rediculous... and right now it seems like everyone is sick! Hope you feel better soon...

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Hey, all our NW and CA peeps, are Yall doing okay with the flooding/Pineapple Express mess?

Watching scenes on NBC news of severe conditions all along the coast.

Check in and let us know Yall are okay. Thinking of you all.

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I flew to Los Angeles for a meeting today, it was raining a little bit early on, but dry when I came home tonight. So far so good! I am taking a mini vacation for the next three days in Northern Cali... suposed to be raining most of the time so we shall see... thanks for the concern Georgia!

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There are flood watches but I drove through a few valleys and over 3 rivers today -running high and fast but no flooding observed here.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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