gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[coops 1,790]

Another day of good fasting intentions has been dashed... God, I wish I could get my head out of the shed and into the fast zone - but this week has just been a total mess... three times I 'tried' to fast and three times I couldn't manage it!

I think it is time for me to be kind to 'me' and not beat myself up over this week... put it down to experience and the fact that life goes on regardless of what the scales says!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

coops, I hear you... I fell all the way off the wagon yesterday. I fasted about 2 hours then bam! We have a cooking class at my school, and usually I can say no, but house made pesto pizza, brownies, home made bread..... down the hatch! Man, it was so easy to eat. And good I might add.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I've been fasting even though I am not supposed to due to liver issues. I am not losing. I am sure it's because of the gabapentin. I really need that stuff, but I am so bummed that it causes weight gain.

 

I can so relate to you Sheryl. I can't go to the gym. Hell, I can barely walk.

 

I am really depressed. I can't do anything. It hurts to get in and out of bed. I went from an active middle aged lady to a crippled up senior citizen in a matter of days.

 

the only good thing is that there is no sign of infection.

 

This is really stupid. I lost my blender cup. It's a mini blender and I've been using it for  years. Occasionally, I will bring my shake into the bedroom. I've looked everywhere. All the little odd places I stick it when I am drinking it and I am not in the kitchen . It's sitting somewhere, getting all moldy. I'm going to go and buy another one today. I'll find it eventually. This is so ridiculous.

[Georgia 2,908]

Well, it's Friday. Managed to end up about 630 cals yesterday. I soooo wanted to eat nuts until I ate the whole can but stopped with a small hand full of almonds and few peanuts and that's why my cals were over but I'm claiming victory since I did Stop myself. ????.

Finally the fourth pound I can count as solid loss and another 1/2, but dear lord, that's 4 1/2 pounds in four weeks!! I'm trying to visualize what really made the difference and how we psyched ourselves up last time.

Think it was because it was all "new and shiny?" ????. Whatever. I'm GOING to get these pounds back down. I want to be back at goal by spring/early summer.

Sigh.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Denise I implore you to not fast until your liver numbers are good. I KNOW you will recover and regain your lifestyle. When a person is depressed it is so easy to lose that belief. I tend to run manic as opposed to classic depression but it's the same deal. Losing perspective and becoming inner focused. I spent better part of a day imagining the worst on my knee before I "got a grip" I am getting better about asking for help from friends though and it makes a difference. Do you have pals who can entertain and distract you?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Denise, the last time I lost 30 lbs I was on Gabapentin but every person is different so ...

None of my clothes fit, I am so effing miserable, I feel so ugly. I feel too fat and ugly to participate in the very things that would make me feel better (yoga, tango, running, weights) I just feel like a monster, like a giant sea monster, flailing on land while onlookers stare and don't help....

Edited January 31, 2015 by Globetrotter

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It's really hard to not diet when I weigh 10lbs more than I want to. Plus I'm afraid I'll gain more. I'm not on antibiotics right now, so that is really a good thing for my liver. I am so scared the infection is going to come back though. I've been off antibiotics since Tuesday so I am hoping that means it's gone. I would think if it's going to come back, it would do so within a week. 3 more days so maybe I'm in the clear.

 

I found my Blender Bottle. It was at my daughter's house. I have no memory of taking a Protein Shake to her house. I'm getting senile.

 

I wonder how this person that none of us seem to know, knew about our group to ask to be invited in. It's not supposed to show up on the line up of groups . I guess since none of us know who she is, I could tell her we're not letting new people in at this time.

 

If anyone felt ambitious, we could do a check on what she has posted. I hate to leave her hanging. That other 5:2 thread in the veterans forum moves right along, so I don't know how she knows about us and why she wants to be a part of our group.

[swizzly 901]

Denise -- do you mean Sleeve4Me? She has been around since before me, she's a very longtimer. She's lovely too. I would add her no problem, if you're looking for votes. :-) She went away for a couple of years while she was cruising below goal (oh THOSE days...), but has gained and is looking for a new start.

Hope your infection is well and truly GONE!!!

Globetrotter, I am TOTALLY feelin ya. Nothing I own fits and I'm miserable. What a GD suckfest this is. I can't believe how well I cruised through 3.5 years, only to get completely tripped up bigtime over the past few months. Eff word.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Globetrotter, I am TOTALLY feelin ya. Nothing I own fits and I'm miserable. What a GD suckfest this is. I can't believe how well I cruised through 3.5 years, only to get completely tripped up bigtime over the past few months. Eff word. 

Eff'n Well said! I can still fit into my skinny jeans, but the spare tire is not pretty. I can reallys see the regain sitting on the middle. Blub. I don't want to protes too much, its not 30 and I have been there too... but it is just such a pain in the ass.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I'm staring at a solid 50 lbs of regain and I effing hate myself for it. I have put in requests for information at 2 seperate Bariatrics clinics here, to look into the transoral suturing.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Yes, A Sleeve4me is the person that wants in our group. I checked on some of her past posts and she got a little snarky with IggyChick. I think Iggy has disappeared.

 

I just don't know how I feel about someone coming in here that none of us are very familiar with.

 

I am sure I am going to gain back what little I lost with Superbowl tomorrow. I hope it's not going to stick around though. I really want this extra weight off.

 

Denise, the last time I lost 30 lbs I was on Gabapentin but every person is different so ...

 

None of my clothes fit, I am so effing miserable, I feel so ugly. I feel too fat and ugly to participate in the very things that would make me feel better (yoga, tango, running, weights) I just feel like a monster, like a giant sea monster, flailing on land while onlookers stare and don't help....

I know exactly how you feel. None of my clothes fit either. It's so depressing to want to wear something then try it on and realize it's way too tight. Mine is in the belly area. My tops are just too tight in the stomach area. I have pants from size 6 to 14. The story of my life. I'm just glad I am battling it at this weight than over 200 lbs.

 

It's really depressing not being able to go to the gym. I just feel like my life sucks right now.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So, I have a little boost - Went out with Steven tonight and I told him I was back to the weight I was when we first met...regained from my skinny chick size. And he said "your are perfect right now, don't change"

I share my dose of self esteem with you lovely ladies.

Yes, I still want to lose a solid 10-15 BUT isn't it good to know you are perfect just as you are???ahhh

All about that bass no treble.... (popular song about how "having all the right junk in all the right places" is awesome)

[coops 1,790]

I'm staring at a solid 50 lbs of regain and I effing hate myself for it.  I have put in requests for information at 2 seperate Bariatrics clinics here, to look into the transoral suturing.

 

What is transoral suturing?

It is horrible to be gaining - the struggle will be with us forever I think. And I don't think you're alone in this battle either!

x

[coops 1,790]

offical weigh in yesterday - another pound off - that means it has been a total of 3lbs for the month of Jan. At least it is going down eh?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I want to just punch myself in my big flabby gut, I want to pinch my big fat cheeks until I leave marks, I effing hate it so much. The guy I am seeing right now, my FWB, says the most adoring beautiful things about my body, about how it makes him feel, in praise of it, and I believe him when I am with him. But when I am alone, or when I stare at my drawer full of beautiful expensive high-end label garments that I can't even begin to get into, I effing hate myself.

I just got off the phone with a stupid person at a local bariatrics office (could barely string a damn sentence together I wanted to throttle her) who said that the endoscopic suturing wasn't often covered by ins and would be around 19K. That's more than my VSG was and I was done at the most luxurious place in San Francisco!

I have ballooned from a 34DD to a 36J. I am wearing a size 16 jeans and I have to maneuver my gut into them, walking briskly up the hill to my bus stop leaves me panting. Old feelings of unworthiness, shame, depression, etc. are washing over me again, and old behaviors of anxiety coping are coming back - shallow breathing, hampster-on-a-wheel thinking, comfort eating, skin picking. And my apartment has gone from filthy to "obviously there is a mental health problem here", sink overflowing with dishes, surfaces covered in muck, clean laundry just piled in a chair, drawers left pulled open, and dust and crumbs covering every surface.

I'm ignoring my life because I feel out of control of my life, so I'm creating a vicious cycle.

How difficult is it to get a prescription for Zanax?