gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Hi ladies. still here. Bit rough resolving feeling about moving my mom to a nursing home. It is for the best but still sad. It is like we are both lookig at her last days. Really busy casting play and getting that project off the ground

Still bouncing 5 pounds. Sorta mad I can't get on a steady down size. 330 was not healthy and now I look back clearly caring too. Much weight. I didn't lose enough after surgery so my 250 though leSs is pissing me off now

Anyway. I am ok. God is good and I am blessed! U ladies stay strong through in sensitve hubbies, learning to live alone, in law drama, selling homes, moving, pregnant exes, finishing school, life changes returning to the states,battling sickness and all. It's life! Stay strong

[M2G 1,836]

Wow, Kelly, that is incredibly insightful, thank you for sharing this with us.

Florinda, I hope you can get what you need, having a dr. "dismiss" you is no way to get proper treatment/care. Hugs!

Kim, I'm glad you called hubby to task on his choice of wording. I know what you mean...I don't consider myself an artist, but at my last class we had to give an "artist talk" and I started out by saying I don't consider myself an artist, per se, but I am in a "creative" field. Also I have to disagree with Florinda (sorry sweetie!) but life isn't black and white. I know some of you single ladies have an easier time just putting your foot down on unpleasant behavior/commentary and so you just move on to the next guy. But for us who are married and committed in a relationship, it's more of a push and pull. My husband and I don't always agree on everything 100% of the time There are disagreements, discussions, differing opinions. But at the end of the day when you add everything up, and we communicate about the good the bad and the ugly, well, that is how we've stayed married for almost 19 years and been together for 23 years. So yeah, sorry when we sometimes come here and "vent" about how "my husband irritated me," it's not always a sign that we need to leave the marriage.

Wanda, that is hard about your mom, I'm sure it feels like the end of a era and starting a new chapter in your life. You definitely have a lot on your plate right now!!! I didn't lose enough either and now with my 20+ regain I feel STUCK again. I am definitely in the same boat with you...sure the sleeved helped me lose but now the struggle...gah. I feel like I might never lose the regain and never get to that elusive "goal"...no matter that my goal is a 29 BMI...

Cathy, I have never heard of Banksy either...cool photo!

Sarah, how are you doing with FIL/MIL and the whole family drama? How is your being a PT going?

Georgia how awful! I hope you feel better soon! You too Sheryl! Not sure what's going on but I'm hoping you can eat a little more and have some energy.

Missing you Coops...where are yoU?

[M2G 1,836]

Sarah can you link us to what you are talking about from the Vet's Forum? I don't think I see it...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Several of you have more experience with anti depressants etc so I am asking for ... reassurance I guess.

I am on something called Escitalopram aka Lexapro. I started it Sunday, taking half a dose as part of the "ramp up". Tuesday wasn't a great day in that I had no emotional energy after my "workshop" but yesterday and today, I don't have that collapsed kind of feeling. Yesterday, I felt some restlessness building up and I was hungry so I went out to my favorite restaurant for their shrimp skewer appetizer as it was something palatable to me. I feel strongly that I needed food - and that going out helped me feel calmer and more comfortable. Anyway, I ran a few errands and I felt pretty okay. I didn't sleep great last night due to the damn dogs and cat! but I slept enough and I am alright today. in fact, I feel a little... euphoric. I am worried.

Now, the reason I am so paranoid about these drugs is that after my mom died I got pretty blue and my PCP prescribed preosak. I nearly lost my mind. My family remembers it clearly - i went from the level headed business woman & mom to a stark raving lunatic that could not stop crying or moving in about 2 weeks. I am not sure if the doc prescribed the wrong dose, or whatever, but it was truly one of the scariest things that ever happened to me so I am paranoid.

Anyway, my counselor told me that if I start feeling like it is too much, to skip a dose. I am not sure I have reached that. I LIKE feeling more positive. This morning I was actually smiling to myself thinking about doing some fun stuff - this is more normal for me so that was good. Flip side, I do feel a little... antsy... a little "up". If I hadn't had that horrible experience with prosak I probably wouldn't even worry about it.

I hope you are all well. I am sorry for being so self centered right now, but I feel so strange, I am very preoccupied with getting my head back on straight...haha

[Globetrotter 1,340]

M2G, I might have done better to say that, everyone has their "dealbreaker", for some out there it could be being bad with money, for others it could be abuse of animals. For me, having grown up in a verbally/psychologically abusive household, it is words. To my brain, there is no difference between verbal abuse and physical violence, my body and brain reacts the same to both. And even there, people's definitions of what is verbally abusive differ. For me, if it were me, those comments from the husband would have qualified.

As for me, I did not get the tests I wanted, the neurologist flat out refused, and then blocked my ability to get a second opinion. The "leadership" of my program are trying to force me to resign, by leaving me to scramble and utterly unsupported and at the same time insisting on time frames for paperwork that will affect my financial support. Nobody seems interested in helping, as a civilian I am a non-entity and any civilian who needs something is seen as a nuisance and troublesome.

There is a clinic in Portland OR that I want to go to, but if I go there I won't have the physical strength to get back to the east coast, which is what the program will demand I do, to outprocess.

And in the meantime, I am eating absolute crap and hating myself for it. Thanks to that one article someone (I think it was Chimera) linked to a while back, I now understand that when I do this it is so that I can focus my fear and loathing on something familiar - me- rather than the new scary stressor. So, at least I recognize my impetus :/

I haven't stepped on a scale in over a week but I would bet, just on how I feel, that I've put on at least 5 lbs. Considering I put on 3 lbs that one time that I ate a sleeve of saltines, and this week has been a damn free for all, yeah .... v_v

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda - I am probably the last person that should be giving advice, but in my experience focusing alot on weight and scale during times of extreme stress can be a real trigger. I know how important it is to you - I really do - but it seems like right now is the time to focus on health. Sort of reframing the situation.

What I mean is that you can't really control what the scale reads and who knows when you will be on your scale again any way. what you CAN control is taking care of yourself by eating healthy, doing the things that encourage your body to heal and following the things that you know support your body fighting the symptoms of MS. I think that when the focus shifts to a more positive place, we may be less prone to that "Stress eating" that eating that is almost self punishment.

I know absolutely nothing about MS, but I have a number of health issues myself (mostly muscular/skelatal in nature). Extreme things like super intense exercise aren't really always my best friend. I like intensity - I am an intense person - but I also know that I need to balance that against protecting my body.

Anyway, I am thinking of you and continuing to hope you get to feeling better soon and get out of this superstressful situation ASAP.

[M2G 1,836]

I only have a quick second...

totally agree Sheryl with Florinda "reframing"...and you are right Florinda everyone has what is acceptable and what is not and that is totally different for each and every person. I guess I just felt like if I'm here "venting" the answer isn't always cut and dried...

I saw this today and really just wanted to share it here. I could put it out on the big group forum but I just thought we all needed a little chuckle... and this made me laugh out loud!

http://www.someecards.com/2014/04/17/more-realistic-serving-sizes-pizza-ben-and-jerrys-funny

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

thanks so much for sharing that! I had to send a link for the last one to Bill. He was an English teacher so bad grammar drives him insane. I always have him correct my grammar. I always thought I had good grammar, but I'm amazed at the little things I get wrong.

 

Florinda,I hope you can get your tests. I don't know what to say about your situation. It has to toally suck to be stuck away out of the country, feeling ill, and not being able to go home. I really feel for you. I hope you are able to straighten it all out for your financial support and your health!

 

Sheryl, my daughter took Lexapro and had a very hard time getting off of it. She had actual horrible withdrawl symptoms when she wanted to get pregnant and wanted to stop taking it. I don't know what to tell you. If you need medication,  you should take it. I would try to take it for the shortest time to get you over the hump. Once you're on it for a long time, it's really hard to get off of it.

 I hope you can itentify what is causing you to feel so out of sorts, whether it's grief or whatever. We should make plans to meet in Portland. I am definitely going in May.

 

Cathy, I haven't heard of Banksky either. That is so cool!

 

Wanda, I am sorry to hear about your mom. I went through that with my parents and it was very hard. (((Wanda))) Hugs to you.

 

My son and his wife and grand daughter are here for the weekend. It's my grandson's birthday so the party is Saturday. I love having my kids and grand babies around, but Bill and I are leaving for CA on Sunday. It's going to be hard to pack and get ready with company here.

 

Bill and I are doing very well. We had some issues that we worked through and worked out pretty easily. I am glad he is able to communicate. I am not used to a man who talks things out without anger and fighting, and it's nice. I am really excited to go to Sacremento and San Francisco, and we are also going to Yosemite National Park.

 

I am glad I have a lap top to keep in touch with all of you. I haven't had time at all to look at any of the rest of the board.

[Georgia 2,908]

I only have a quick second... totally agree Sheryl with Florinda "reframing"...and you are right Florinda everyone has what is acceptable and what is not and that is totally different for each and every person. I guess I just felt like if I'm here "venting" the answer isn't always cut and dried... I saw this today and really just wanted to share it here. I could put it out on the big group forum but I just thought we all needed a little chuckle... and this made me laugh out loud! http://www.someecards.com/2014/04/17/more-realistic-serving-sizes-pizza-ben-and-jerrys-funny

Too funny!!!!!

[Georgia 2,908]

Okay, let's take a poll. I know by pics what I think a couple of you are but It would be interesting to see us!

Here's the image to judge by. WHAT's YOUR BODY IMAGE!

I'm an Apple!

[swizzly 901]

I'm a banana or a rectangle. According to my stylists, I'm an inverted triangle cos my shoulders are so broad. Ugh.

I'm also out of control, working too much, never fasting, eating badly, etc. I MUST GET BACK ON TRACK!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I have adopted the term that one of the plastic surgeons labeled me with - I have an athletic build. I never thought of it that way, but I do. Yes, broad shoulders and a substantial ribcage (a reason I got smallish implants) but also well defined and toned muscles come with that. Reframe this crap to something positive - who wants to think of themselves as a piece of ugly fruit! I am like zena the warrior princess baby!

When I was obese I looked like an apple... or actually I think more like that fat kid in Charlie and the chocolate factory. didn't he turn into a blueberry that they had to squeeze? That is how I felt, I carried fat everywhere - my stomach especially but also my back etc.

[M2G 1,836]

Rectangle here!

[UK Cathy 977]

Hour glass for me

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Hourglass/apple combo - appleglass!