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Ok don't judge me..lol..

Sunday afternoon I heard from Steven. He didn't want me to come over because he dislocated a shoulder, hitting a tree while doing crazy off track skiing that he promised he doesn't do anymore..Haha....as he says it's not like he is 50 and young anymore. He goes into hermit mode if he doesn't feel at his best....I am opposite I want cuddles and touch when I hurt. I didn't try to talk him into it but he invited me over. He told me how much I have influenced him...changing him...just that he would see me when he felt and looked like crap.

He sees a counselor and told me about a bunch of little ways my words have influenced him. It makes me feel good because as little as I see him....he made it his mission for me to see myself as he does and I owe so much of my self confidence to his bolstering me up...and he has changed me too. One of the key things I used to try to hide bad parts of me. He accepts me, warts and all...and I have been practicing this behavior...honesty,asking for forgiveness, telling people how much they mean to me etc and it is astounding how much long time friends and family see me changing...e layer....but it is supported by a friend (Steven) who just brings it out in me. I never knew I was such a damn liar until I started telling the truth about my fears, emotional state..etc. Everything is NOT ok dammit but I can still be worthy of love even when I am not charming,full of smiles and jokes.

Edited by CowgirlJane

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Coops...I learned alot from a tv show called what not to wear. Shape is #1 - I have gotten pretty good at telling what will look good based on shape. Color etc is much lower in priority. So, bottom line, it's the dresses fault, YOU are gorgeous!

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Sorry I'm not contributing much at the moment -- I guess I have/had more like pneumonia, which I didn't even realise, dr told me this morning when I went back. But the damn antibiotics (it's bacterial, not viral, which is more rare -- but yay for miracle drugs!) are making me so sick, I've had several unintentional fast days. Upside? Maybe. Ugh. Still surrounded by moving boxes and now weak and wan as well. I'm a real bright spot I tell ya.

Non-contagious hugs to all.

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Aw Dee, sorry to hear you are feeling poorly - pneumonia is a b*tch for sure. Stuff the boxes, they will wait, focus on getting well - cwtches to you my lovely!! x

Thanks Sheryl... I knew those pesky dresses owed me one! I used to watch that programme too - a real eye opener. I didn't really take it all in then though cos I was morbidly obese and at 5 2 everything just made me look round - which is what I was!! lol

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Oh my, Denise and Sheryl... I hope you are both ok after your 'adventures'... talk about stress. I hate it when things don't go to plan... hope you are both ok.

I messaged Sheila, she's ok - back to school and has been busy with studies and family life... she said to say Hi and that she'll try to pop on as soon as she can.

Things are ok here... Hywel is doing well, and we talk about Gary when he wants to. He went training Friday, and Gary's eldest son was there... I think this was good for Hywel to see... that life goes on and that is what Gary would of wanted. Boxing was his life and he would be proud to see the boys train hard. The funeral is the 21st Feb, Hywel wants to go to say goodbye and I am hoping that work will be kind enough to allow me to take him (they are really strict with time off and not very compassionate) - the funeral is in Abergavenny, where hubby polices, so as he is on days he is hoping to attend and meet us there - I think Hywel and I will need him with us to be honest. I am finding the loss difficult to get my head around, so God only knows how Hywel is processing it!

On a better note, my daughter Betty is away this weekend with police cadets, she'll be home later... I am so proud of her doing this.

Oh and our boiler went bang... no heating or hot Water for two days does nothing but promote a bad mood - luckily it is fixed now but we do need to replace it... We really do need to spend some money on our house as we have neglected it for years... things are getting old and need replacing.

On a 5:2 note, scales are still bouncing around all over the place... I actually think I need to either replace the batteries or get a new one... the other night I weighed in at 154 (yes, surgeon's goal) and stepped on and off again to check - the number stayed... so I was a little excited cos I normally weight 2-4 lbs heavier in the evening... anyway, I got on the next morning and weight 3lbs heavier.... arghhhh!! I was gutted 'cos I thought I had broken my new set point. I will give it another week or so and have a little think about replacing them.

I've done two good fasts this week and no loss so I am wondering if I need to get back to the gym and Curves? I will go back to Curves this week. But in saying that, something is different because I have had a few comments about how 'small' I look and whether I have lost weight... when I tell folk I am over 11 stone they don't believe me!

What is everyone's' opinions on water? I read such conflicting opinions... I have really struggled drinking water from day one and have gone through spits and spats of getting the recommended amounts in... do you think it does actually help shift weight?

I am going back to see my doc tues, I rang for my blood results... Iron is normal so that was a bonus, 'lady hormones' not so good, so I will have a proper chat about that with my doc... Thanks for the book Kim, a very interesting read... I will defo be asking about natural progesterone... I don't want any man made crap going in my body - I don't eat processed food so I don't want processed medicines either! My hot flashes are back with such venom... they are so intense that they actually make me feel weak! It is soooo embarrassing when I am stood in front of 30 teenagers and in seconds I am bright read and covered in sweat! I need them to bugger off!

Kim, do you get your progesterone cream from the doc or buy it?

Denise and Sheryl had some really horrible weather to deal with...I wish they could send some of that weather down to California... :P

Sounds like Hywel is taking the loss of Gary with great stride.... Gary's funeral will be on my birthday. :( I will keep everyone in my thoughts as well.....I hope your DH can join you two if you can get the day off.

I think that I am done with menopause or perhaps what helps me is the Mirena IUD. Hope the hot flashes lighten up for you....I use to get progesterone cream from my nutritionist.....:P

Ok don't judge me..lol..

Sunday afternoon I heard from Steven. He didn't want me to come over because he dislocated a shoulder, hitting a tree while doing crazy off track skiing that he promised he doesn't do anymore..Haha....as he says it's not like he is 50 and young anymore. He goes into hermit mode if he doesn't feel at his best....I am opposite I want cuddles and touch when I hurt. I didn't try to talk him into it but he invited me over. He told me how much I have influenced him...changing him...just that he would see me when he felt and looked like crap.

He sees a counselor and told me about a bunch of little ways my words have influenced him. It makes me feel good because as little as I see him....he made it his mission for me to see myself as he does and I owe so much of my self confidence to his bolstering me up...and he has changed me too. One of the key things I used to try to hide bad parts of me. He accepts me, warts and all...and I have been practicing this behavior...honesty,asking for forgiveness, telling people how much they mean to me etc and it is astounding how much long time friends and family see me changing...e layer....but it is supported by a friend (Steven) who just brings it out in me. I never knew I was such a damn liar until I started telling the truth about my fears, emotional state..etc. Everything is NOT ok dammit but I can still be worthy of love even when I am not charming,full of smiles and jokes.

No judgements here....Steven is at least seeing a Counselor and working on his struggles with relationships and that's totally awesome. Now if he could put it in rapid speed and have everything come together. I like that he helped you to look deeper into yourself and to see the person he see's.....

Sorry I'm not contributing much at the moment -- I guess I have/had more like pneumonia, which I didn't even realise, dr told me this morning when I went back. But the damn antibiotics (it's bacterial, not viral, which is more rare -- but yay for miracle drugs!) are making me so sick, I've had several unintentional fast days. Upside? Maybe. Ugh. Still surrounded by moving boxes and now weak and wan as well. I'm a real bright spot I tell ya.

Non-contagious hugs to all.

Hope you get to feeling better soon. Hope your unplanned fast days helped you lose a bit too. That would be an added bonus for sure.....Hugs to you too......

Well I haven't been posting too much lately. 2 days ago our cat got out of the house and has been missing. My family is very upset by his disappearance....

I have been doing the 5:2 and started losing a bit, but today I was up a few ozs...I noticed that the minute I ate something with sugar in it, my weight went up. So I will have to deal with the fact that I need to stay away from sugar or I will gain my weight back and be very depressed. :( Boy do I need a reality check... :P

Glad to hear that Sheila is doing as well as to be expected under the circumstances... Has anyone heard from Laura?

Have a wonderful Tuesday everyone. :P

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Hello my wonderful 5:2 ladies and apologies!

I didn't realize that it had been so long since I was here, and I just spent well over an hour getting all caught up. Thank you Coops for getting touch with me to say I went MIA and was everything ok!

I am going to try and get thoughts out here but if I miss/forget anything please forgive me!

Oh my gosh, my thoughts are with you Sue about Gary....I didn't realize and I'm so sorry. Hywel is still so young and I just can't imagine how that would affect my girls...I'm sure they would be a mess. I like what Dorrie said about something positive coming out of this and I love that line of thinking. I like that you and Steve can hopefully both be at the funeral and help him through this time. Hugs to you all!

Dorrie, sorry things have been difficult with you and your marriage. I hear your voice a lot in my own line of thinking, because I do this all the time "Tomorrow I will fast. Tomorrow I won't eat junk. Tomorrow will give me a fresh start" arrrgh! How many times have I told myself that? Along those same lines of thinking...this seems random but isn't...I just read an article in Reader's Digest about alternative ways to tackle alcoholism. No, I'm not struggling with overuse of alcohol, BUT how many times have we said "well, if I was an alcoholic I could just STOP DRINKING, but since my drug is food, it's NOT like I can just STOP EATING!" Right? Well, there are alcoholic programs out there that encourage MODERATION. OMG. I didn't even know this! I am and will continue to be in the moderation camp when it comes to my eating. I refuse to life life in a black and white zone, I need to give myself patience and credit when it's due and I also need to know when I'm going OVER the line and need to reign it back in. Anyway, I hate to think that any of us are living in the tomorrow...for what about today? And happy early birthday Dorrie!

Florinda, I didn't mean to stir up anything negative for you. I was just simply floored because I thought I had been following along pretty well with this group and then it hit me like a ton of bricks that you had lost 30 fuc*ing pounds!!! Holy sh*t woman had I lost -30lbs I would have been shouting it from the rooftops for anyone within listening range to hear. I understand where YOU were coming from with the "but I need to lose xxxx more..." but I think that can be a dangerous line of thinking. And I'm going to be honest here...I hear that from ALL of us to some degree. I mean this IS a group formed around one common thread afterall...WEIGHT LOSS...but I wish we did a little more celebrating and little less self-bashing here. Oh I know we all struggle in our own way and we should be allowed that, I just don't want us to wallow in the "but I'm not THERE yet" mode. I feel a little rambly and I hope that makes sense. We all share what we want when we want so no one should ever feel bad about that, I was honestly shocked because I thought you were STUCK and couldn't lose a pound, or at least that is what I took away from your posts and so to hear that you had lost so much, I honestly thought I had missed something. LOL. And I love what your male friends told you...that is awesome! Please do tell us more about your living conditions, as Sarah pointed out she envisions MASH and that comment made me laugh because I agree to some degree.

Denise, I'm so happy for you with Bill. Sorry about the CPAP and the ex-GF, but it sounds like you guys are working through some of the kinks and I'm envisioning a happy relationship for the two of you. I'm sorry about your purse and I PRAY that someone turns it in. What a horrible winter we are having and the main thing is you are ok. Keep us posted about the purse!

Cathy...YEAH GIRL!!! That is awesome! I'm sooo happy for you, dancing bananas all the way around (for any of you who didn't belong to this site like 2-3 years ago, they used to have a TON of crazy emoticons and you could put a GIANT dancing banana into any post...it was so cute!) So anyway, hats off to you...so exciting!

FYE - OMG you DID marry a viking! Holy cow! That is crazy. Tell him all your 5:2 ladies are sending him get-well wishes. And with me being gone I also missed any grumbling about secret groups. Sigh. People need to get over the fact that we have our own space here. ;)

Sheryl, glad you are also ok, this has been a tough winter...seems like the entire US has been gripped in ice/snow/cold temps for the last 6+ weeks or so. Here in Denver, we should hit about 60 degree this week and sunshine...OMG sunshine...we are desperately addicted to our sunshine here, so we need some good light and 60+ is shorts weather around here. I'm glad your ex is gone and it sounds like you and Steven are working through some issues. If the issues COULD be worked around do you see yourself entering into a more long-term thing with him?

Wanda, how is Curves going? I hope you are going as much as you can and that you like it. Please update us on that...

Dee, I'm so sorry you are sick. Sounds like you have it really bad and I hope you are on some good meds. What a terrible time for you to be so sick. Getting back into your place and your stress levels sound really high right now...maybe that is why you fell ill...stress I think tends to weaken our immune system...hugs.

Sarah, so glad you got a new stove...also hats off to you for baking and not partaking! I could never do that! You have done so well and you are such a great cheerleader around here! Thank you for that. Love that the girls all want your son to bring them goodies. I did that at Christmas let my 13 yo dd take fudge to all her friends at school...they were so happy!

Kelly...CONGRATS to your Seahawks. They showed up and deserved the win. I'm not sure what happened to our boys...gosh it was a sad super bowl party. People left early, and depressed. LOL. United in Orange now must be referring to that sunshine we are going to get later this week. B)

Georgia, I hope your granddaughter is feeling better! Going to check that link about the twins when I'm off from here! Thank you for sharing.

Alas, I'm feeling as if I've already forgotten someone. Gah! Sorry if I did.

As for me, I've started back to school (my last semester yay!) my first class was Jan. 27 and I might be wrong but it's been about that long since I hopped on here! WOW! Time sure does fly when your days are full of homework. HOwever, this class is really going to be a good one because it's all about us finding a JOB when we graduate in May. It's called Business for Creatives and we are working on getting together an online portfolio, writing an artists statement, polishing our resume, etc. So lots of work but really good stuff.

Ironically I am sick today, hence being on here instead of working out. Hubby had been sick in mid-Jan and took meds, got better and then fell sick again on Sat. He's finally passed it to me (sore throat, cough, etc.) and so I decided to skip my workout today. Was planning to go then it hit how I really didn't feel so hot, so gave myself permission to skip.

I will try to be better about coming here...having to read through 25+ pages in one fell swoop is no fun!

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Sorry I'm not contributing much at the moment -- I guess I have/had more like pneumonia, which I didn't even realise, dr told me this morning when I went back. But the damn antibiotics (it's bacterial, not viral, which is more rare -- but yay for miracle drugs!) are making me so sick, I've had several unintentional fast days. Upside? Maybe. Ugh. Still surrounded by moving boxes and now weak and wan as well. I'm a real bright spot I tell ya. Non-contagious hugs to all.

Sorry you are feeling so bad! Wish I was there to help you unpack!!!!! Hugs

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Glad to hear from everyone. Especially those who have been MIA. It's been hard for me to find time to respond to all like others have mentioned.

I've been a slug concerning anything remotely concerning exercise and we've have ice/snow and that makes me Eat! Ha!! Lots of carbs been going into this body, I'll admit. And I can tell how I feel and everyday, like M2G, I'm NOT going to eat them :(. Fasting today. It's 2pm and only 50 cals so far.

Hope everybody has a better rest of the week! Let's try HARD!

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Okay just read the article about the twin doctors...really good read! And those guys are both kinda cute, aren't they? My new professor for school is cute, and he is an Amazon 6'7" tall! (Thought of you Sheryl! ha ha!) Sadly he's only 31 and I *think* he is gay (unconfirmed but just my suspicion...not that there's anything wrong with that...just too bad for all the females who think he is cute!) LOL!

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What article? I must have missed it. Will you post the link again, please.

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I heard a keynote speech today that floored. It was about business but applies to US ladies. I will share more and ask if any of you would try a 90 day challenge with me.....more to follow.

M2g, I will not be with Steven long term...would be a disaster so I am enjoying and more importantly learning from the NOW. I was surprised it was mutual is all. I left out/deleted some of my post as TMI but he told me he could see my ab muscles and and fitness (I didn't ask but sometimes he reads my mind). I have decided that I have been given a gift to know someone who sees me and is honest with me (about the bad too) and is bold enough to say it. The gift is to see myself through kinder eyes then my own- honest but kind. This relates to paragraph one...changing our inner voices. More on that later.....

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Sheila!!! So happy you are back. Every day I come looking for you and you aren't here, but now you are! Hope you are feeling better soon. I can't even imagine being back in school at my age. I am trying to study to become a personal trainer and that it hard for me. Congrats to you for being almost done with school. I had to laugh about the fudge comment you made. My son came home yesterday and said his friend wants me to make him some fudge. lol Who knew the fudge would be such a hit.:)

Dee, I agree, I bet the stress finally caught up with you and made you sick. Feel better soon. Rest, that's what you need right now. Don't worry about the boxes. Everything will be there when you are ready.

Sue, hugs to you because you are feeling down. Hang in there, and hopefully things will start looking up for you soon. Going to curves will probably help.

Sheryl, I'm glad Steven has been able to help you so much. It seems as though you are helping him, too. I'm scared you are going to end up hurt with him. Be careful. You are a smart woman so I am sure you know this. Still, it's easy to get hurt.

Ok, Ladies...I weighed in today for my weight loss competition. 4 weeks ago I weighed in at 150. Today I weighed in at 142.5! My trainer said a couple other people weigh in the next couple days so we will see who won after that.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday to go over my blood work. Everything was perfect except my Vitamin B was too high so I need to back off on that. I also need to lower my thyroid meds a little.

With this extra weight loss I am noticing a lot of extra skin on my belly, upper belly, thighs and butt. My butt, hips and thighs have always been my biggest part and finally they are getting smaller. But the skin...I just want it gone. I'm sick of wearing shape wear all the time. If I don't I can't stand the hangy skin so I wear it. Especially while I'm working out, even with the shape wear it's getting bad. I am going to start looking into plastics again. I went for a consult a year ago but I want to go again now that I have lost more weight. I'm also going to be looking into Dr. S in Mexico so I might have questions for you, Sheryl.

Happy Tuesday, Ladies!

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This isn't the same LINK that Georgia posted, but it has a bunch more information (and pictures too! ;) )

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2546975/One-twin-gave-sugar-gave-fat-Their-experiment-change-YOUR-life.html

Sarah, you are going to become a PT? What is involved with that? I don't think I could do it but it was funny my trainer made a comment about how hard I work out and that I was "gunning for her job" lol lol lol!!! I really don't think I could do it but it was a nice compliment from her.

And congrats on the weight loss Sarah! That is amazing...really in 4 weeks? I'm about ready to look into plastics again also...sick of the Shapewear and sick of seeing the "extra" in my gym clothing!

Edited by M2G

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Yes, 4 weeks. I was strict about my clean eating and my fasting days. I have come to realize that if I stick to it I lose, if I start having Snacks I maintain. Also, I lose big chunks at a time and then I go a long period without any loss at all. My last big chunk occurred before Thanksgiving, I think, so I was ready for another loss. This has been the same for me even before surgery.

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I heard a keynote speech today that floored. It was about business but applies to US ladies. I will share more and ask if any of you would try a 90 day challenge with me.....more to follow.

M2g, I will not be with Steven long term...would be a disaster so I am enjoying and more importantly learning from the NOW. I was surprised it was mutual is all. I left out/deleted some of my post as TMI but he told me he could see my ab muscles and and fitness (I didn't ask but sometimes he reads my mind). I have decided that I have been given a gift to know someone who sees me and is honest with me (about the bad too) and is bold enough to say it. The gift is to see myself through kinder eyes then my own- honest but kind. This relates to paragraph one...changing our inner voices. More on that later.....

Anxious to hear what this is about.

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