gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Georgia 2,908]

My doc wants me to go on some horrible daily drug and they cause all sorts of side effects. I don't need xanax daily... just a small dose, maybe right now a few times a week but I think once under control, just occasional. They hate you using it because of the addiction risk. Trust me, I have asked - she relented and gave me a tiny amount for the surgery. I will admit my friend P that went with me to Mexico had a more generous prescription and I did take it a few times when things were going to happen that stressed me - drain removal etc. Anyway, it is very frustrating. I am going to see another person next week that is a nurse who also does therapy so she can prescribe drugs. I will try to have an open mind but I am fairly adament I don't want to start on a daily anti depressant/anti anxiety. I don't want the side effects and the weight gain. There are alot of things that I have complex emotions about but the heart stopping anxiety is because I can't concentrate at work and I just get further and further behind. It's awful.

I have no side effects or weight gain. and much calmer so maybe you just need to find what WORKS for your body. There are some newer drugs that are time released and less side effects. Aren't Xanax habit forming and addictive? My son loves them. . I've never taken them so not sure about them. For me, it's easier to just take my one small dose a day.

Edited January 8, 2014 by Georgia

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

okay, here is a laugh for all of us working so hard to remain trim..... somebody I met on a dating website last summer (before I put it all on ice so to speak) invited me for lunch. He was one of the disappointments in the sense that we really hit it off and I liked him alot and he just decided that he didn't want to date due to being too busy (well who knows the real reason). I thought, what the heck and accepted the lunch invite. He noticed the difference in my shape and size (lost 10# and had plastics) and definately noticed and commented on the owner of the restaurant flirting with me. Anyway, he told me I look great, that I look so small... and then kinda mentioned that I didn't look as soft. See, some guys like a girl with a little curve to the thigh and butt and perhaps even tummy! HaHa

I don't know kissing good night on a first date doesn't seem that insane to me, but what do I know about the world. I work for an international company and there are colleagues/friends from Europe that routinely kiss as greetings so maybe i am desensitized to it? I will definately think about it though - it is easy to get lulled when you feel you really hit it off with someone.

I had a great phone conversation with someone last night and we are scheduled to meet but... if that doesn't pan out, I am done for awhile. I think my lunch date reminded me of why this is frustrating - find someone that I like, lives nearby, and just feels compatible (no emotional attachment yet obviously as we only went on maybe 3 dates total) - and for some unknown reason he seems to like me but doesn't want to date me. I don't really care about him in particular so much it is just the process is frustrating and I tire of it easily. I don't really like "dating"

I have always had a very hetro, healthy sex drive but spent most of my life in one of two relationships so never really had to face alot of these situations before.

oh well

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

 

Georgia:

 

 

 

Have you tried taking melatonin 30 minutes before bed? I am in the same boat for the last few weeks. Friend recommended. Has to be the quick absorb you out under tongue. Seems to help me a bit.

I have tried Melatonin for the past few nights and it really didn't help much.... But I'm not giving up either....

 

Have any of you used Melatonin? I have a terrible time falling asleep and have had to take something for probably 5 years or so now. I used to take Ambien every night but about a year ago my PCP wanted to me stop or cut down bc she heard it caused cancer in some people. I take it 2 or 3 nights a week now and I take Melatonin on the other nights. She would rather I don't take the Ambien at all but the nights I take it are the only nights I fall asleep and sleep well and wake up like I had a good sleep.

I use to take ambien but my metabolism gets used to a medication and then I need more to get the same effect. I really hate taking more just to get the relief I'm needing. But I'm also willing to go back and try it again.....

 

>

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, its usually several things piling up that I don't have control over or that aren't going my way... if I sit down and list what I feel like... hopeless is the bad one that trigers anxiety, then I list what the things are that make me feel hopeless, then I look to see if there is anything I can do to counteract the feeling... communication, action, whatever... and schedule some of that, and if I can do something right away..... that helps almost immediately to some extent. If I don't let it go too long, then I can usually manage those stressful types of ecperiences. The old saying, "do what you can, and let go of what you can't" is a good one, but when I "can't" sometimes it makes me sad. I am attached to holding on. Attachment. I confuse attachment with love, and really, thats more objectivesiing than love. Its mistaken thinking on my part... 

As an example, I was feeling bad about all the birds and animals that get killed and disrupted by human behavior. Poisoned, run over, shot, on and on. Sometimes when I think about this it makes me hate people generally. Not really productive! Or true! I want to make a difference, but the problem is so huge... I feel overwhelmed. So I made a list of things I might do, small things, but things I have control over. So I took some things over to a wildlife rescue place near by, some things  from their wish list. I also made some art for a show, and dedicated $50 from any one that sold to go to the same wildlife rescue place. Just a little thing, but it did make me feel at least there was something I could do, however little.<

/p>

I love this strategy. It does help to recognize what we can change and what we can't. I also like prioritizing my to do list when feeling overwhelmed.... It warms my heart to hear about the wonderful things you are doing for wild life. I have the same feelings. Humans are so unkind to animals and it will bring tears to my eyes.

 

Lately I'm finding myself feeling depressed and viewing things in my world as hopeless. I work on re-framing these negative thoughts to being grateful for the things that I do have like a good husband that's pretty healthy, healthy children, financial security, a house, bills are paid, etc. I am really blessed that I have some wonderful pets that I have rescued from numerous places and they're so loving and giving.....But I do have a chemical imbalance right now.......I have thought about asking my PCP for an antidepressant but I remember the havoc they created with my sleep......I don't really know what to do about it but to get my butt to exericising. I have stopped walking when I went to Las Vegas because my knee got really painful and I thought I was going to have to have knee replacement. so I am fearful of that happening again. But I do need to kick myself in gear and just do it......... Perhaps that will help me sleep at night. 

 

My scale is so out of whack these days....yesturday I weighted 147 lbs and today i weight 136 lbs......Why is there a 10 lb difference? I did eat more yesturday....... I'm going whacko..... Have a great day.....

 

I went to a sports medicine Dr, who referred me to a physical therapist who nailed down why my knee was bothering me... it was a weakness in my hip! So I started doing exercises for my hip, and the knee got better. 

 

Sounds like you need a new scale!

 

 

 

 

Dee, where are you headed to in the states?

 

I will be in SF

 

I

n general, I am sleep deprived because i wake up in the middle of the night for hours.

 

Yes, this is what I do as well. I CAN NOT STAND IT. Ugh. I would love a full night's sleep. :-(  Melatonin, even the smallest little molecule of it, knocks me out like a concussion and I can't wake up. Ambien gives me horrible vivid dreams that disturb me during the day. Benzos help calm my anxiety but don't make me sleep. G*ddam* menopause. =/ 

 

Dating sucks. I hate it and I'm glad I'm not doing it. I have never had a sex drive in my life, so the clam has never been in the driver's seat LOL. But I'm glad you're getting properly seen to, Florinda!! :-) 

 

I am not old enough to be truly old-fashioned for any reason, but I still am. Wouldn't kiss on first date EVER. Never slept with anyone till *months* together. SOOOO picky and hard to get -- not playing, but for reals. But *I* am the weird one here, I consider all of you quite normal and hormonally normal as well. I'm just an outlier in the weird zone.

 

I wish I could fall asleep on melatonin.....I'd be happy as a clam! Ha ambien worked for a while but I would still wake up really early......Xanax does little for me....I often wonder how medical marijuana would work for sleep....I'm just too concerned about the legal aspects of it and getting the munchies too. Oh and Swizz I have little to no sex drive..... I wish I had a drive but in my earlier years..... ;P

[feedyoureye 3,087]

My sex drive is much lower than it once was. I don't know why especially, age? Hormones?Jaded? Husband not too happy about this... I think part of it is he is very critical of me and life in general... And his timing is rotten, we have fun sex then he makes critical comments (not about sex, about something else -silly to me) its like, if you did something nice for a dog, then scolded the dog, eventually it would cower at the nice thing...don't you think? Then after a time of this kind of behavior, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I just don't feel attracted to him. Why would someone(him) want to have sex/make love to someone they don't have respect for(me).And why would I want to have sex with someone who doesn't act like they respect me.....I miss the sex, but I really need more trust to open up. I jump in now and then, when he's being nice for a week or something, I can forget the crap behavior, but then, bam... hes a wild man again. Other people tell me he talks so adoringly about me, but to my face? Not so much. He has no filter, if he feels something, he says it... no mater the consequences. Thats my man. I care about him, and there is a lot I like about him, but he is his own worst enemy about some things. I guess we all have trouble seeing some things right in front of our eyes at times.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Kim my husband shows more kindness and consideration for others than he does for me. I know he loves me but it really hurts when he puts the blame on me, even when it's someone else's doing. So confusing and it does push me away from him...When I tell him, he just doesn't get it.... And he's can join mensa if he wanted. Such a genius in some areas, and not so smart in other things. LOL

[sarsar 824]

My sex drive is much lower than it once was. I don't know why especially, age? Hormones?Jaded? Husband not too happy about this... I think part of it is he is very critical of me and life in general... And his timing is rotten, we have fun sex then he makes critical comments (not about sex, about something else -silly to me) its like, if you did something nice for a dog, then scolded the dog, eventually it would cower at the nice thing...don't you think? Then after a time of this kind of behavior, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I just don't feel attracted to him. Why would someone(him) want to have sex/make love to someone they don't have respect for(me).And why would I want to have sex with someone who doesn't act like they respect me.....I miss the sex, but I really need more trust to open up. I jump in now and then, when he's being nice for a week or something, I can forget the crap behavior, but then, bam... hes a wild man again. Other people tell me he talks so adoringly about me, but to my face? Not so much. He has no filter, if he feels something, he says it... no mater the consequences. Thats my man. I care about him, and there is a lot I like about him, but he is his own worst enemy about some things. I guess we all have trouble seeing some things right in front of our eyes at times.

What does he say about this? Have you had a heart to heart with him about it? Knowing you, you probably have but I just wonder how he feels about it?

Men are so strange bc sex to them is usually just sex. It's how they get rid of tension. I feel like you, Kim, if my hubs is acting like an idiot, I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with him. NONE! So why do they keep acting idiotic and doing stupid things if they know it makes us resent them and not want to have sex with them? I just don't understand it.

I don't have a sex drive either. I haven't for years, not sure if I ever did. It's sad sometimes.

[sarsar 824]

Laura, we're talking about sex here, are you going to join us?

[sarsar 824]

Georgia:

Have you tried taking melatonin 30 minutes before bed? I am in the same boat for the last few weeks. Friend recommended. Has to be the quick absorb you out under tongue. Seems to help me a bit.

I have tried Melatonin for the past few nights and it really didn't help much.... But I'm not giving up either....

Have any of you used Melatonin? I have a terrible time falling asleep and have had to take something for probably 5 years or so now. I used to take Ambien every night but about a year ago my PCP wanted to me stop or cut down bc she heard it caused cancer in some people. I take it 2 or 3 nights a week now and I take Melatonin on the other nights. She would rather I don't take the Ambien at all but the nights I take it are the only nights I fall asleep and sleep well and wake up like I had a good sleep.

I use to take ambien but my metabolism gets used to a medication and then I need more to get the same effect. I really hate taking more just to get the relief I'm needing. But I'm also willing to go back and try it again.....

>

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, its usually several things piling up that I don't have control over or that aren't going my way... if I sit down and list what I feel like... hopeless is the bad one that trigers anxiety, then I list what the things are that make me feel hopeless, then I look to see if there is anything I can do to counteract the feeling... communication, action, whatever... and schedule some of that, and if I can do something right away..... that helps almost immediately to some extent. If I don't let it go too long, then I can usually manage those stressful types of ecperiences. The old saying, "do what you can, and let go of what you can't" is a good one, but when I "can't" sometimes it makes me sad. I am attached to holding on. Attachment. I confuse attachment with love, and really, thats more objectivesiing than love. Its mistaken thinking on my part...

As an example, I was feeling bad about all the birds and animals that get killed and disrupted by human behavior. Poisoned, run over, shot, on and on. Sometimes when I think about this it makes me hate people generally. Not really productive! Or true! I want to make a difference, but the problem is so huge... I feel overwhelmed. So I made a list of things I might do, small things, but things I have control over. So I took some things over to a wildlife rescue place near by, some things from their wish list. I also made some art for a show, and dedicated $50 from any one that sold to go to the same wildlife rescue place. Just a little thing, but it did make me feel at least there was something I could do, however little.<

/p>

I love this strategy. It does help to recognize what we can change and what we can't. I also like prioritizing my to do list when feeling overwhelmed.... It warms my heart to hear about the wonderful things you are doing for wild life. I have the same feelings. Humans are so unkind to animals and it will bring tears to my eyes.

Lately I'm finding myself feeling depressed and viewing things in my world as hopeless. I work on re-framing these negative thoughts to being grateful for the things that I do have like a good husband that's pretty healthy, healthy children, financial security, a house, bills are paid, etc. I am really blessed that I have some wonderful pets that I have rescued from numerous places and they're so loving and giving.....But I do have a chemical imbalance right now.......I have thought about asking my PCP for an antidepressant but I remember the havoc they created with my sleep......I don't really know what to do about it but to get my butt to exericising. I have stopped walking when I went to Las Vegas because my knee got really painful and I thought I was going to have to have knee replacement. so I am fearful of that happening again. But I do need to kick myself in gear and just do it......... Perhaps that will help me sleep at night.

My scale is so out of whack these days....yesturday I weighted 147 lbs and today i weight 136 lbs......Why is there a 10 lb difference? I did eat more yesturday....... I'm going whacko..... Have a great day.....

I went to a sports medicine Dr, who referred me to a physical therapist who nailed down why my knee was bothering me... it was a weakness in my hip! So I started doing exercises for my hip, and the knee got better.

Sounds like you need a new scale!

Dee, where are you headed to in the states?

I will be in SF

>I

n general, I am sleep deprived because i wake up in the middle of the night for hours.

Yes, this is what I do as well. I CAN NOT STAND IT. Ugh. I would love a full night's sleep. :-( Melatonin, even the smallest little molecule of it, knocks me out like a concussion and I can't wake up. Ambien gives me horrible vivid dreams that disturb me during the day. Benzos help calm my anxiety but don't make me sleep. G*ddam* menopause. =/

Dating sucks. I hate it and I'm glad I'm not doing it. I have never had a sex drive in my life, so the clam has never been in the driver's seat LOL. But I'm glad you're getting properly seen to, Florinda!! :-)

I am not old enough to be truly old-fashioned for any reason, but I still am. Wouldn't kiss on first date EVER. Never slept with anyone till *months* together. SOOOO picky and hard to get -- not playing, but for reals. But *I* am the weird one here, I consider all of you quite normal and hormonally normal as well. I'm just an outlier in the weird zone.

I wish I could fall asleep on melatonin.....I'd be happy as a clam! Ha ambien worked for a while but I would still wake up really early......Xanax does little for me....I often wonder how medical marijuana would work for sleep....I'm just too concerned about the legal aspects of it and getting the munchies too. Oh and Swizz I have little to no sex drive..... I wish I had a drive but in my earlier years..... ;P

I just had to comment that I think this is the longest quote I have ever seen on this board! lol

[feedyoureye 3,087]

OK, I'm bringing out the big guns Laura!!! Sex & Donuts!!!!

--------------

He is the type that blows up, then just goes on to the next thing. He can't see how I won't do the same thing. He also thinks hes always right, so any comment I make is usually moot...Its a rare thing where he says I'm right about something.. like i can count on one had all those times during the last 20 years! This being said, he can be sweet and funny... not just a dick! (or I would have kicked him to the curb long ago...) There are a couple of things in his history that make him blind as a bat about some things, he might be much happier if he could allow more gray into his life, not just black and white.... not sure he is capable of that though.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I wish I didn't have a sex drive. That would make all of this so much easier.

I went out last night and ran into someone I knew 40 years ago., He wanted my phone # but I would not give it to him. I told him just to come back next week and dance with me. He did not age well. I was kind of touched that he said "you are so beautiful" He knew my deceased husband.

It's fun to have someone pay attention to me. Thank you 5:2!

Edited January 9, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I wish I didn't have a sex drive. That would make all of this so much easier.

I went out last night and ran into someone I knew 40 years ago., He wanted my phone # but I would not give it to him. I told him just to come back next week and dance with me. He did not age well. I was kind of touched that he said "you are so beautiful) He knew my deceased husband.

It's fun to have someone pay attention to me. Thank you 5:2!

I am so with you!!!

Since we are getting into details..Haha.. I had a great sex life with my ex... he taught me alot. Like how to get into a headspace that is actually better than orgasm. It broke my heart when he lost interest in sex and I had to shut all that down for years. I thought it was due to my hugeness but it wasn't.

About the third time I was with Steven he said to me..."you were just GONE" and he was right. Some of it was his physical attributes...tall dark and handsome is my kryptonite. Over time the newness wore off and it was harder to get to that mental state. He had done alot of role play with his 2nd wife so pulled out some of those tricks...and it got me again. This is one reason it is so hard to walk away cold turkey....someone that knows how to please and that gets into the fact I am so enjoying it. Sigh. I need the right kind of lover to find that spot. Well, I know of two (my ex and Steven) so I hope I find it again. It would be easier if I didn't care about sex but flipside....it is really pleasurable!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I hear you Sheryl...I don't think my sex drive is really gone gone... but more like dormant right now...the way it flipped on when I ran into my ex was the give away. We had a very spicy sex life too...

[swizzly 901]

I did NOT mean to imply there is anything wrong with kissing or even sex on a 'first date'!! Sorry if I gave that impression!! I'm more saying that I've always been a bit of a cold fish and am not forced out of that mode by my hormones usually. Kinda sucks really.

I live in a country where everyone kisses all the damn time, so I'm not fussed about the physical contact at all -- I just don't like it to turn sexual until *I* am ready...and I take ages to be ready LOL.

Re: the frustrating husbands -- have you ever read up on undiagnosed Aspergers in adults? And what relationships with them are like? I am thinking it's more common than people might have thought it was... I have a couple of friends who've just twigged to this in their own relationships and it's helped just knowing what 'the problem' is, rather than just hitting their head on a brick wall.

Loves to all.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Dang, I can't believe that only 2 people noticed my naughty little post about whoopin it up with a young hawt soldier!! Laura - where arrrre you?

Maybe it's a generational thing, I think I am one of the younger folks in this group, but I don't go in for that business of "I know he loves me, he just never shows it/puts me down/treats me like I'm the help/ is nicer to everyone else ..... but I know he loves me" NO. WAY. It's just passive abuse. Substitute in the word "hit" for each of those things and you will suddenly see. "I know he loves me but he punches me every time I orgasm ... I must just have a low sex drive....." :/

Today is the one year anniversary of my Father's death and some truly horrible awful things have happened at work that would be horrible any time but I especially do not want it today. Long story short, my program is looking for a scapegoat, they don't need reasons, they will make them up if they have to, but there is an uproar over how my team leader's family was notified, they think the family found out via Facebook prior to the official word from the DoD. Now, I had put some sorrowful words up, but I am not friends with anyone that I work with, nor anyone from his family, and I took the stuff down right away. I sent his eldest daughter a letter of condolence on the day that the DoD made it official. But I am scared and freaked out and upset and all of this today? And I'm ready to throw in the towel. I went to the combat therapist today and told him to get the ball rolling on sending me to Germany for a medivac, I have spent the day cleaning up my workspace, going through paperwork, shredding, organizing, and tonight I am going to haul out my footlocker and start packing everything that is mine that I will want to go home. Whatever happens, I want to be as ready as possible.

I am sad, lost, scared, scared, scared, terrified, sad, lonely, angry, and more.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda I am sorry. The grief is enough to deal with...don't need this additional drama. Does this mean that you are leaving regardless of the investigation outcome into how the family was notified?Keep us posted...I will be thinking of you.

Last night I did my first horse back ride since plastics. I did a lesson on my new horse. It was fun, but I am sore. The instructor knew me in my obese days and saw me in about Nov 2012 when I weighed 25# more than I do now. Anyway she almost didn't recognize me and cracked me up when she said "you look about 25" Now isn't that the compliment of the day!!!!