My family was having a gathering this past Monday for the Target/Ford yearly fireworks. All was going well until I paid attention to the conversations that were going on. My oldest sibling, sister in law, and a family friend were discussing different individuals (around 10 in total) that had gastric bypass surgery or as they ignorantly called it "The Surgery". This sibling and guests were unaware of my soon coming vsg operation. Around about the 10th name I became enraged at the judgemental tone of the conversation and I blew my lid! To see their reaction to a loved one having "The Surgery" I blurted out I am having "THE SURGERY now what?!" It was dead silence for about 15 seconds. Then I was met with the "You don't need that surgery Sis." and "If you dedicate yourself to a strict diet and workout plan you can lose the weight." Yes the nerve now they care about someones feelings because it is me! So I asked why the change in tone, because it is me? Where is the same judgement for me as you had for those other 10 people? I have dedicated myself to many diets and workouts and as you have witnessed I have lost and gained it back. However, yes I am having "The Surgery" for restrictions purposes to lose an extensive amount of weight so that my husband and I can finally have children of our own and possibly rid myself of infertility issues. So again where is the judgment now? I asked that they please see the positive in those 10 persons new life instead of using their situation as talking points.

Thanks for letting me rant.

You go, girl!

That is exactly why I chose not to tell anyone. I really don't want to deal with the back stabbing and constant ridicule about taking "the easy way out" ...nothing about this is easy! Some people just don't get it!

If people believe that you "cheat" if you have wls instead of doing it all on your own without outside help, ask them if they think an alcoholic getting sober without outside help is cheating? I get frustrated when some think that a person loosing weight without any tools are better than others. It´s like if I stop smoking using pads it´s not worth as much as if I stopped smoking cold turkey?

I ofcourse mean using patches not pads, my bad

Good for you for speaking up! Sometimes people make judgments with out having all the facts and not really thinking things through. Congratulations on your decision and I look forward to hearing from you on the losers bench. Good luck.

Rant away, girl. You are among knowledgeable friends here!!!

Same reason I didn't tell my family or too many other folks. Too judgemental!!!!! I told a total of 4 very very supportive people & it's been great that way.

Thanks folks I just can't stand to hear people talk like wls is some kind of plague.

Some People are always gonna judge. They judged me for being fat, they'll judge me when I've lost all my weight with the help of the sleeve. Do I care? Hell no! The only thing I care about is that since being sleeved in early May, I am down 40 lbs and my health is vastly improved. I tell lots of people about my weight loss surgery, and this is why--1) some might need support themselves if they are struggling to lose weight, 2) I find out who my REAL friends are by their responses and attitudes along the way. If they judge me harshly for this, I don't need that kind of negativity--or them--in my life!

You go for standing up for yourself and for all of us!!!

It is amazing how negatively people react to WLS in general. My mother wasn't thrilled at first when I told her about it, but said she wants me to be healthy. Her main concern is she is worried about it being dangers and complications. My husband is on board because he is having bypass before I have my surgery. My mother asked me to tell my brother and sister (sister already knows because I am close to her), but other than that I told one friend, my boss, one girl on my team. My boss told one of my other co-workers because she asked her something about my medical leave on the vacation calendar and she thought I had discussed it with her before. My husband is not planning on telling his sisters-which is good because they are so self absorbed anyway. I have a best friend I am not telling because she tells my business to everyone and is the type to say at a party oh you look so great since your surgery-in front of everyone-so needless to say she will not know!

I am sick of people saying it's a cheat or the easy way out. They are just ignorant in my opinion.

I also want to say-I hate when you tell someone and they feel it's their place to tell whoever they want-they can't just keep things private.

I think you did a great thing speaking up to everyone-it's really sad that they have to be like that and not just be happy that the person opted to do something to make themselves healthier.

It is amazing how negatively people react to WLS in general. My mother wasn't thrilled at first when I told her about it' date=' but said she wants me to be healthy. Her main concern is she is worried about it being dangers and complications. My husband is on board because he is having bypass before I have my surgery. My mother asked me to tell my brother and sister (sister already knows because I am close to her), but other than that I told one friend, my boss, one girl on my team. My boss told one of my other co-workers because she asked her something about my medical leave on the vacation calendar and she thought I had discussed it with her before. My husband is not planning on telling his sisters-which is good because they are so self absorbed anyway. I have a best friend I am not telling because she tells my business to everyone and is the type to say at a party oh you look so great since your surgery-in front of everyone-so needless to say she will not know!

I am sick of people saying it's a cheat or the easy way out. They are just ignorant in my opinion.

I also want to say-I hate when you tell someone and they feel it's their place to tell whoever they want-they can't just keep things private.

I think you did a great thing speaking up to everyone-it's really sad that they have to be like that and not just be happy that the person opted to do something to make themselves healthier.[/quote']

The negativity absolutely makes my skin crawl. What i will continue tto tell onlookers I am in no way ashamed about my decision to choose me over how everyone else feels. I have a good support system, and those that don't support can continue to exit stage left.

Good on you for defending people not there to defend themselves!

Good on you for defending people not there to defend themselves!

That is exactly what I felt. I would want others to do the same for me.

Rock on, sister!