regreting this whole thing

[******** 397]

Time to bite the bullet and listen to everyone words of wisdom and work with whatcha got. It's yours to do what you want.. And it's going to be awesome!

Yes thank you...and once again I couldn't find the other thread that I had started pre op about this so sorry I had to start another thread

[SMO 193]

Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves. Even when we are looking in the mirror, I think we see our idea of ourselves more than the reality. I spent a lot of years just taking quick sweeps to make sure I didn't have a pair of underwear sticking out of my pantleg or whatever. My image of myself was of a skinny 20-something. It took a photograph to push my face up to the truth. I just pushed that aside and avoided the camera. It took the threat of diabetes to make me choose surgery. I was 257 at my highest and I am 5'2" so I was quite round. I looked like someone had hooked me up to the helium machine and blew me up! I have lost 57 pounds in 18 weeks. The funny part is that now I look in the mirror and see the fat me! I think the speed at which we lose is just too much to adjust to rapidly. It can blow your mind. Maybe it would be best for the original poster to stop looking in the mirror too much. Give herself more time to adjust. And talk to a therapist about the adjustment problem.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I meant to say that they convinced me I was making the right choice and to go along with it...if you really dont believe me you can contact my dr and see when I made my date and when I joined this site...sorry if I misspoke

What are my words?

I decided to have the surgery...I got on this site saw pics and got discouraged. ..I posted a thread about feeling discouraged because I didn't wanna look odd and people convinced me I should put health before body image (this I already knew but I just needed some reassuring) I already had the date set in my mind. I had the psych eval and passed because I was doing this for my health not my looks. I was also convinced that my body shape would not change but stay the same just smaller and that is.wrong

I meant to say that they convinced me I was making the right choice and to go along with it...if you really dont believe me you can contact my dr and see when I made my date and when I joined this site...sorry if I misspoke

I'm sorry. I just get confused easily. You said previously that you had the date set already, then above you said you had it set "in your mind" and then you said you had it set again.

Honestly, you are an adult and you made the decision to do this. You can't take it back and I truly think that once you give it some time, you WILL find happiness in your decision IF YOU LET YOURSELF. Only YOU can make the decision to be happy while you are getting healthy. No amount of support from strangers on a board is going to do that for you.

I truly hope you find the happiness you deserve.

[jensjoy28 351]

Janice, I don't have anything to add that other posters haven't shared, but you mentioned a few times that you couldn't find the similar thread you had posted, and I wanted to let you know that (at least for me on the iPhone app and I think on website) if you click on someone's pic, it will open up their profile and give you option to read "all threads started by this user"...you can do that for yourself and find them that way...I see one you started in early May about body image post-op.

[******** 397]

Janice' date=' I don't have anything to add that other posters haven't shared, but you mentioned a few times that you couldn't find the similar thread you had posted, and I wanted to let you know that (at least for me on the iPhone app and I think on website) if you click on someone's pic, it will open up their profile and give you option to read "all threads started by this user"...you can do that for yourself and find them that way...I see one you started in early May about body image post-op.[/quote']

Ok thanks...good to know for the future

[PGee 318]

Hey Janice! Have you been to a support group? I'm am SURE you are not the only person feeling this way post-op (my sister struggled with body image after her RNY).......I'm still pre-op---finishing up the NUT appointments next month with any luck.....but have been thinking about going to a support group as a pre-op which was recommended by the gal who did my psych eval......I know we don't live especially close to each other, but we could try to meet up at a support group at the hospital you had your surgery...I know there are some in the Fairfield area, too.....PM me if you'd like, I'm still here! Sending cyber hugs your way. --p

[SeriouslyChange 319]

I lost 30lbs my first three weeks and now have stalled completely. Everyone who says they have stalled says they lose inches during their stall and I'm not. I have been going to the gym since one week out and hate every minute of it (note:I used to love to exercise). Nothing is fitting me right any more and I look like I don't take care of myself. Any suggestions? I dont have money to buy new clothes every month. I am also losing any confidence I might have because I am starting to look funny. I know I know health is the most important thing but so is mental health. I look like a fat pre pubescent boy. I mustve had 30lbs of curves because they are gone but the rest of my fat is there. And I had a thread similar to this but I mustve accidently unsubscribed and I cant find it. I know everyone says patience but I swear if when this is all through if I look like a man I wont be able to live...oh boy and I can't wait for my hair to start falling out. Upset. Sorry for the rant.

Thrift stores are a must. Can you say 5 dollar pants? CHEAP.

Take a breath and relax. Stalls are normal and I stalled out a lot. You're still pretty new, so relax and just take it in stride. Everything will work out in the end. Stay focused and look at the bigger picture. How long would it have take. You to lose those 30 pounds before the sleeve?

Everyone loses at a different rate. Compare yourself to no one as your body is different than the next persons.

[******** 397]

Hey Janice! Have you been to a support group? I'm am SURE you are not the only person feeling this way post-op (my sister struggled with body image after her RNY).......I'm still pre-op---finishing up the NUT appointments next month with any luck.....but have been thinking about going to a support group as a pre-op which was recommended by the gal who did my psych eval......I know we don't live especially close to each other' date=' but we could try to meet up at a support group at the hospital you had your surgery...I know there are some in the Fairfield area, too.....PM me if you'd like, I'm still here! Sending cyber hugs your way. --p[/quote']

Thanks they are once per month and until this month I had classes during that time...ill message u when I find the details... thanks for the support

[DeezJeanz 1,065]

From recalling your pre surgery views it seems to me you were determined to regret this surgery before you even had it and I can not work out why you proceeded with it to be honest.

Thing is' date=' you have done it now. There is little point in regret as it is not like you can go back and undo it. You made a choice and now you have to learn to work with the consequences of that choice. Only you can do that and it will involve changing the way you feel about it. Your feelings are your within your power to choose and you can. choose to feel differently about it all.

You don't have to be on these boards for more than a week before hearing all about stalls, especially at 3 weeks. You know this stuff already. What is it you are seeking to achieve by writing this OP? Is it attention you are after? Validation?

I know I seem harsh and I know I am blunt. I don't often notice posters, I more read the content than check to see who is saying it, so recurrent posters don't often stand out for me. But you have and I have to say it isn't in a positive way. I am noticing recurrent posts of negativity and really all of that is going to lead to self sabotage of your sleeve and, basically, a miserable life. Why choose to be miserable when you can choose to be happy?

Of course your clothes don't fit right, you just had bariatric surgery.

Of course your body shape is changing rapidly, you just had bariatric surgery.

Of course you can't eat what you want, you just had bariatric surgery.

Of course exercise feels hard right now, you just had bariatric surgery.

So you look dishevelled? Do something about it. Do your hair, give yourself a mani/pedi and a facial if you can't afford to get one done professionally. Choose not to look dishevelled.

Clothes hang loose? Use a belt, use a scarf, use a needle and cotton, use your head and use google for ideas on how to turn what you have into something that looks good and feels comfortable for little to no cost.

Choices. You have them. And make them knowing that you have to live with the consequences of the choices you make. Just like you now have to live with the consequences of making the choice to have bariatric surgery. You have to live with your decision, Janice, so you may as well chose to live happily.

[/quote']

Amen!!

[DeezJeanz 1,065]

I never regretted it pre surgery. I knew I needed it to be healthy. I mentally tried to prepare myself for not liking my body beforehand and everyone convinced me before hand that health is more important than looks. Now it is becoming real. I'm not seeking attention I am hoping to get inspiration and enthusiasm which I have gotten in the past. Pre ssurgery people on this forum convinced me that I was making the right choice so I was hoping I could have some support...thank you to those who have

So sad to hear that your decision was based on what strangers told you. I'm not being ugly but did u lie to the psychologist? Bc u don't seem to have been prepared mentally at ALL, ND tisk tisk if u did fib bc now, you seem to b paying such a high price. At this point, stop posting n reading these forums nd go get some more therapy, esp., talking about dying WHEN your hair falls out! Really, for your sake, I pray to God that you go nd seek some prof advice nd stop posting. You need some face to face real talk not anything close here nd ik people r trying to help you, but it seems to be feeding something else inside of you instead of giving you the help you crave nd or need. God bless.

[******** 397]

So sad to hear that your decision was based on what strangers told you. I'm not being ugly but did u lie to the psychologist? Bc u don't seem to have been prepared mentally at ALL' date=' ND tisk tisk if u did fib bc now, you seem to b paying such a high price. At this point, stop posting n reading these forums nd go get some more therapy, esp., talking about dying WHEN your hair falls out! Really, for your sake, I pray to God that you go nd seek some prof advice nd stop posting. You need some face to face real talk not anything close here nd ik people r trying to help you, but it seems to be feeding something else inside of you instead of giving you the help you crave nd or need. God bless.[/quote']

I didnt actually mean id actually die...you have never said that before when everything seems to not be going your way...like I look like a boy and when my hair falls out ill look more like one. I'm not gonna justify myself again...I already explained that I decided to have surgery before coming on here and when I came on here people helped reassure my original doubts. I didn't lie to anyone I had this surgery for health and health alone and for that I don't regret I just regret it for looks...and most people are helping me which is why I post on here.

[******** 397]

My psychiatric eval was to make sure I wasnt doing this for the wrong reasons...I believe doing it for health and not to look better is the right reason. I am seeking help I was just hoping to get experience from others in a similar situation from me.

[CoreyCan 95]

Really Deez? Tisk tisk? That was rude and hurtful. Janice feel free to post what you like being that this is a forum for SUPPORT!

[LouiseC 1,029]

Really Deez? Tisk tisk? That was rude and hurtful. Janice feel free to post what you like being that this is a forum for SUPPORT!

Context is everything, CoreyCan. The OP here is one who has told people on this site that they look better in their before pictures than their after pictures and that kind of message sticks with people and does not encourage people to fall over themselves to support her as a consequence.

Janice is certainly free to post what she likes, as she did with her comment in her earlier thread about the before photos, just as Deez and others are free to post what they like. There is no requirement for support and also sometimes the harsh truth is support, sometimes blunt honesty is just what people need to knock them out of their denial and self destruct mode.

[DeezJeanz 1,065]

Really Deez? Tisk tisk? That was rude and hurtful. Janice feel free to post what you like being that this is a forum for SUPPORT!

And I was NOT sayn it to be mean, I have read all of her posts and she sounds miserable, n then to say she would die, I posted from what she has been sayn, not anything more. Tsk, yes, bc the therapy is to help so that we don't do it and end up hurting ourselves afterwards, and her posts are all sad n filled w misery regret...I'm not going to bite my tongue if Im reading what weve all read concerning how to help her, so if that offends you, well, it wasn't meant to u...ive had suicide in my family and I DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY!! have I ever said I'd die n not mean yet, yes, but it wasn't preceded by self hate. I'll stop now bc I was addressing what she said. Thx for your opinion.

Ps she should continue posting IF its helpful but of the RE ive read, its not helping n the way she needs, which is y I said what I did. Prof help.