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* Sorry I posted my response b4 I realized there was fun & humor taking place... :)

Kendisue,

Fun, humor, fear and life changes are going on here!

And I welcome your input.

I find that in the most intense emotional conversation I must derail a bit before getting back on track (or topic)

:)

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I am 100% with you on the fear and the focus on food & food issues. I have always been a great dieter, just crappy at maintaining, and Super at regaining ++ gaining additional weight. I am fearful that with surgery, exercise, Portion Control, supplementation, counseling, and this (& other support groups) I will still struggle to maintain. Sorry to be a downer, just my thinking for today.

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Kendisue' date='

Fun, humor, fear and life changes are going on here!

And I welcome your input.

I find that in the most intense emotional conversation I must derail a bit before getting back on track (or topic)

:)[/quote']

I AGREE! I just thought my reply was off topic by the time I posted my response. No disrespect intended, more of an apology for being out of place! :D

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I am 100% with you on the fear and the focus on food & food issues. I have always been a great dieter' date=' just crappy at maintaining, and Super at regaining ++ gaining additional weight. I am fearful that with surgery, exercise, Portion Control, supplementation, counseling, and this (& other support groups) I will still struggle to maintain. Sorry to be a downer, just my thinking for today.[/quote']

I don't think you are a downer!

You are a realist like me! I'm standing outside seeing all the good going on here and in our personal fitness goals, but I have my eye on all of it! The what ifs and past experiences, this stuff is very real. All you have to do is read a little from some of the vets to know it does get challenging!

Better to keep our eyes open than to blindly live through the honeymoon stages.

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Wow Laura, you are a celebrity now! Just remember us ("the little people" you met along the way) when you get showered with endorsements deals and commercials. :)

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I'm so happy for you, Dean! It sounds like you are doing amazingly well!

Thanks Nic :)

I wouldn't say amazingly well compared to some people, but I'm trying everyday.

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Hi Dean,

Long time no see!!

Today I wonder about my food addiction and what will come next. I do not see me EVER becoming addicted to exercise or even ever "loving" it.

So I wonder is it possible to "cure" an addictive personality all together? Or do I have a rough road ahead of me because I have not found something yet to fill that hole..

Hi Lars. Smashed in a couple of s'mores while we were away. I think I created a couple of monsters at our camp site!

I agree with Fiddle. You can't cure an addictive personality. For me if anyone thinks they're 'cured' that's the first step on the slippery slope. It happened to me when I got to goal previously. I thought I'd slayed my food demons and had a killer exercise regime. All it took was a couple of things to debunk my exercise program (new job, shift work, twins birth) and my old ways came into play.

For me now, I know I'll always have food issues or the potential to have food issues. I'm ok with that. I'd rather be aware than be ignorant and be potentially blind sided again. So it's something that I'm going to have to manage for the rest of my life.

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I am addicted to food and do fine on the strict diet! I'm scared to add things back at 6 mo because I love the carbs!! Have had no bread, rice, crackers or Pasta since the preop diet in October. Have had a couple baked potatoes but with Unjury cheese sauce which is high in Protein with broccoli. Just celebrated 6 family birthdays today and only ate sloppy joe meat, veggies and fruit. Made a dip with low fat cottage cheese, low fat sour cream and dry onion Soup. No cake!!! If I didn't eat I might have been a drunk!

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We unfortunately won't ever be cured. As I said in my long boring post a few pages back, I live every day knowing that it would not take a whole lot to send me back to places that I never want to see again. But I don't fear that nearly as much as I used to. In fact I draw a lot of strength from it. You get a different perspective and seem to see the playing field more than you do when spend days, weeks and years under the influence. Will I ever be cured, no..I will always be an addict, but I can live with it and I can manage it. As I explained earlier, the food side for me is and always has been about choices not addictions. But the upside is that if you just focus on where you want to be and not where you have been, you can accomplish a whole lot. Recognizing your weaknesses and adapting is the best way of accomplishing your goal.

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We unfortunately won't ever be cured. As I said in my long boring post a few pages back' date=' I live every day knowing that it would not take a whole lot to send me back to places that I never want to see again. But I don't fear that nearly as much as I used to. In fact I draw a lot of strength from it. You get a different perspective and seem to see the playing field more than you do when spend days, weeks and years under the influence. Will I ever be cured, no..I will always be an addict, but I can live with it and I can manage it. As I explained earlier, the food side for me is and always has been about choices not addictions. But the upside is that if you just focus on where you want to be and not where you have been, you can accomplish a whole lot. Recognizing your weaknesses and adapting is the best way of accomplishing your goal.[/quote']

John your posts are never boring!

I have so much more to say but I keep erasing it after I write it out... (All about my weakness today)

I do appreciate your presence here. I am trying to manage my demons today.

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As far as food addiction or unhealthy relationship with food, it's not just for overweight people. It's just a cultural norm that seems to be associated strictly for those overweight. I have lived the majority of my life as a normal weight or thin person, but let me tell you the obsession with food was always there. Even at my lowest weight of 115lbs I had serious problems with food addictions/obsession. I planned more of my day thinking about food when I was thin, than I did at my highest weight.

At my heaviest it took no planning it was Grab and Go just fill my belly now!! I was going to have a high calorie meal, well that meant I had to plan for that, and restrict my intake to very little or nothing. If I didn't restrict then that meant I was exercising like a fruit cake. Or participate in very unhealthy behaviors that I knew were wrong, but it kept the weight off. I would fast, restrict,exercise,restrict,fast exercise (etc). It was a vicious cycle that was difficult to stop.

For me regardless of the size I was food has always been there, friend or foe is has been my one constant. So I must say where it stands now, I am giving this my all, but I will never convince myself “I'm Cured”. If I ever proclaimed that, I would be giving myself the permission to return to the old me.

And I am no fan of the old me. Thats my 1/2 cent contribution :)

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I agree with you butter in regards to the "healthy" food people THINK they are eating...

It definitely plays a part.

I'm more interested at this point in the mental aspect..

You say you still have those addictive thoughts.

It doesn't surprise me. As a matter of fact I think you fight really hard to keep it straight. And have, in my eyes transferred some of your addictive qualities into your exercise..

I've seen it so many times with addictions.

My brother had addiction issues (not food)

And when he was working his program I saw the same person but he was just addicted to something else (AA and exercise) it scares me because... Well it scares me on a lot of different levels.

A healthy fear is a good thing. This is my 2nd addiction I am arresting, I am fortunate to be enjoying my gym and getting all those endorphins, it seems funny to say I am addicted to the gym but I guess I am. I recently got a cold & could not workout & I realized that my exercise & the people I do it with deliver the best fun in my life right now.

I see some shopping/spending addiction trying to break out of me. I am thankful I am aware & can see this. There have been times where I have been real uncomfortable & was aching to buy something, anything. And there have been times I have eagle back to my old habits & ate food I like when I was not hungry. I try real hard not to be mad at myself & not do it the next day.

You are smart to be thinking & concerned about the long haul. Have you ever gone to an OA meeting?

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I've not gone to one... I think my thinking on them is somewhat skewed because if my brothers addition/ AA experience..

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Hiked like a crazy woman yesterday my husband was impressed with some is my ninja moves navigating over massive fallen trees!

Oh and no s'more last night! :)

Oh and we saw elk!

post-214709-13813138828463_thumb.jpg

Oh my, he is big, great photo. Sounds like you are having a great time

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