I remember once when Oprah had lost a lot of weight...she heard that people were saying things like "Well, she's rich, it's easy to lose weight when someone cooks all of your food and does everything for you." She was talking about it on her show and basically said...she was the one who had to make healthful dietary choices every day and refuse her beloved Ruffles potato chips. Her wealth didn't do that for her. And she is the one who had to get her butt on the track and walk every day. She couldn't pay someone to do that for her.

I think it is so similar when people say that VSG is "the easy way out." We are the ones who have make sure that every morsel we put in our mouths is good fuel for our bodies and resist head hunger. The surgery doesn't do that for us. We're the ones who make special holiday meals for our families and then don't partake in most of it. The surgery doesn't do that for us. We're the ones who go to the gym even when the weather isn't good or we feel like going to bed early instead. The surgery doesn't do that for us. We're the ones who keep drinking (and drinking and drinking) Water when part of us would rather hang out with our old friend Diet Coke or Frozen Margarita. The surgery doesn't do that for us.

And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, the surgery is a tool, but I still feel that we own and deserve every hard-earned victory we see on the scale and every NSV. If others don't understand that, it's okay. I know that I haven't taken the easy way out, but I also know that what I'm doing is an investment in something very important--me. And that's something that money definitely can't buy.

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We have different body chemistry and different brain chemistry, if we didn't we would not be in our starting conditions. We eat like "normal" people yet we are at least 100 pounds overweigh

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really? you truly really believe this? I just read a quote about someone who put a shotgun on the porch, with shells inside of it. he came back, and low and behold it hadn't killed anyone. he was going to check on his spoons now, because he heard they make people fat.

tell y'all what. if and when the day comes that you take responsibility for your own weight gain, then perhaps, just maybe, you'll be able to keep weight off. as long as you continue to believe that "you are different from others, you eat normal but gain weight" you will never succeed. it's called personal responsibilty.

the other day he said to me, oh, those that gain weight, they eat ice cream and fast food. i don't do that. and i said, honey, neither of us does that. yet we've both managed to gain weight over the years. it has to be more then that. and he said, yeah, you're right.

god if nothing else, i hope he leaves this site. it appears that many, not all of you by far, but many of you truly believe that you've done nothing but wake up one day as an obese person. i don't want him here. i want him to know that he can enjoy food again, just by using portion control.

Who's not taking responsibility for their weight? Why are you even on this site? Maybe someone will leak this to your husband so he can see how you truly feel about WLS patients. Your extremely disrespectful and rude. It seems like you don't have much going on in your world that you need to keep coming on a WLS site and try pushing everyone's buttons. Again, what you see as blunt and honest I see as tiresome and redundant. I'll report you if you continue to insult all of us. It's mean and unnecessary. You are offering absolutely NO support or anything constructive.

momto6ix needs a lesson in brevity.

momto6ix needs a lesson in brevity.

Yes, it appears that one revels in being engaged. Gotta ignore that type after you've truly tried to help

I think its time this whole conversation ended. It seems to be going no where.

I think its time this whole conversation ended. It seems to be going no where.

I apologize. It is presumptuous of me to tell others what to do.

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We have different body chemistry and different brain chemistry, if we didn't we would not be in our starting conditions. We eat like "normal" people yet we are at least 100 pounds overweigh

**************

really? you truly really believe this? I just read a quote about someone who put a shotgun on the porch, with shells inside of it. he came back, and low and behold it hadn't killed anyone. he was going to check on his spoons now, because he heard they make people fat.

tell y'all what. if and when the day comes that you take responsibility for your own weight gain, then perhaps, just maybe, you'll be able to keep weight off. as long as you continue to believe that "you are different from others, you eat normal but gain weight" you will never succeed. it's called personal responsibilty.

the other day he said to me, oh, those that gain weight, they eat ice cream and fast food. i don't do that. and i said, honey, neither of us does that. yet we've both managed to gain weight over the years. it has to be more then that. and he said, yeah, you're right.

god if nothing else, i hope he leaves this site. it appears that many, not all of you by far, but many of you truly believe that you've done nothing but wake up one day as an obese person. i don't want him here. i want him to know that he can enjoy food again, just by using portion control.

All I can say is REALLY? You seriously need to see a mental health professional. The sooner you take responsibilty the sooner you can get the help you very much need.

Rick is not my husband' date=' but only because I get alimony for another couple years and we're both willing to still get that [/quote']

CLASSY stuff right here, y'all!

Worry less about how or why we need the WLS surgery and go plan a surprise birthday party your boyfriend expects every year...really? poor "Rick"

momto6ix is just trying to rev everybody up. She probably enjoys the drama. If she were truly seeking understanding she would listen more and insult less. Nobody needs to explain any further why WLS is necessary or not. What's the point? She doesn't want to hear your opinion, she merely wants to see her own opinion repeated back to her.

To those who have struggled and have found new hope through the VSG, congratulations! Enjoy every moment of this wonderful life.

Momto6ix...

I agree with most other posters who have responded to this thread, and I can appreciate the frustration on both sides of the issue. For people who don't struggle with weight, it is very hard to "get" what a struggle this is for someone who does.

It sounds like both you and your husband could benefit from some therapy...both individual as well as couples...for him, it is critical to the self-discovery process that will help him understand the reasons he has medicated with food and work to employ new emotional habits along with the physical changes that surgery requires. For you, it might uncover some surprising ways in which your beliefs and actions could have been contributing factors, and without identifying those, could serve to drive a wedge between you and your husband

While it might seem like an extreme comparison, replace "food" with "alcohol" as the thing your husband struggles with...my guess is that you more readily accept the concept that, for some people, they can't just have 1 or 2 drinks in the way that you and I do...both alcohol and food trigger feel-good receptors in the brain, and release natural opiates that make you want to come back for more. For some complex reasons not yet fully understood, some people appear to be more susceptible to the effects than others.

Oops...I made my post before realizing there were more pages of posts (I'm new here)...after reading all the way through, I regret posting and am pretty sure this will be a thread I unsubscribe to

Might be a nice time for a moderator to jump in. I don't think it's appropriate for someone who hasn't even had VSG (and who isn't planning on it) who is in attack mode against people who had the surgery to be allowed to continue posting here. Since I started this thread--which did start as super positive and was meant for support--I felt it was appropriate that I report momto6ix when she started spewing her hatred and ignorance. However, that was about a week ago, and I have not received a response. It's one thing to disagree, but if someone wants to come here and take out her relationship problems on others, I really don't think that it's fair, nor is it the goal of a WLS support site. I would encourage others who are disturbed by these rants to report her as well. I'm sure the moderators are busy--and I appreciate that they offer this site. Perhaps that will get their attention.

btw at 5 foot 3, "only" being 30 lbs overweight isn't meaningless--it can actually put someone in the "obese" category based on the BMI tables.

VST is a forum for vertical sleeve weight loss surgery support. Those who have had the surgery, and those who are family, friends, and supporters of them are also welcome to come here, participate, learn, educate and be educated. Often, those who have never experienced being morbidly obese truly don't understand what it means to those of us who are, or what we have been through, both physically and mentally. They tend to be more sympathetic to the person who has an addiction to alcohol, smoking, or drugs. But the difference is, nobody needs alcohol, drugs or cigarettes to live, but we do need food to live. And, that alone makes our struggle that much harder.

Momto6ix, in order for Rick to succeed, you need to be on his side, loving him and supporting him 100% of the way. I do applaud you for asking what foods are best to make for the party, and being sympathetic to his needs. Please refer to our food and nutrition forums at http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/forum/7-food-nutrition/ for some great ideas on what you can cook and he can eat.

He is going through a lot of changes right now, physically and emotionally. If, at this juncture in his journey he doesn't feel ready to face certain situations, then respect that and support him. He has to learn how to handle the different situations he is going to encounter in the future, and he will. But right now, he is still new to all of this. Allow him the time he needs to adjust to changing his eating habits, learning to exercise, dealing with the changes his body is going through, etc. Also, keep in mind when your body is going through such drastic changes, you also have a lot of crazy hormonal/chemical changes going on. Eventually, it will all level out. He will learn how to deal with social situations where food is involved and he will be ready to start going out and living life again. Just don't expect it to all happen overnight.

Lastly, everyone please remember our forum rules, primarily the one which refers to everyone being respectful of one another. We are all here to both learn and educate. The attacks are unnecessary.

it's a serious question as I try to live with someone who had this surgery. it does seem to me that many of the things I see and read on here' date=' apply to any diet. isn't this surgery "tool" really nothing more then a diet? what is the difference? what is it that having major surgery does to your way of thinking, that just going on AND STAYING with a diet not do? I read on here that you've changed your way of thinking, the foods you eat, you give up carbs, alcohol & diet soda. you're willing to exercise. all of these things you'll do now, whereas before you wouldn't. you call no WL a stall, where as any diet calls it a plateau. what is the difference in your way of thinking, that changes because you had surgery?[/quote']

I know you wrote this a while ago, but my ass was HUNGRY!!! Sure, there were emotional components, but I've always done well on diets like HCG, because my hunger went away. But once I was off of it, it came back. Ferociously! Now I'm not hungry. What is there to not understand?