Having second thoughts!

[No game 14,436]

I know how you feel! My primary doc' date=' the bariatric doc, the NUT, the PA all called me(I'm a doc) to try to talk me out of doing the surgery. The surgeon spent Almost

2 hours with me going over the risks and recommending alternatives. I've followed this website for two months and read complaints after complaints about complications. It is really a hard decision to listen to professionals warning me and the sad stories of complications vs the majority of success stories. I am sick of being the largest person in the room, but am also respectful of my colleagues concerns[/quote']

Do you think it is because they know you personally, and are saying these things out of concern?

Or is there something in your personal medical history that has them concerned?

I ask this because it is odd that the surgeon would try and talk you out of it.. Inform and educate you on the risks yes. But talk you out?

[LovetoDeath 93]

I know how you feel! My primary doc, the bariatric doc, the NUT, the PA all called me(I'm a doc) to try to talk me out of doing the surgery. The surgeon spent Almost

2 hours with me going over the risks and recommending alternatives. I've followed this website for two months and read complaints after complaints about complications. It is really a hard decision to listen to professionals warning me and the sad stories of complications vs the majority of success stories. I am sick of being the largest person in the room, but am also respectful of my colleagues concerns

This scares me.

Is there something wrong with this surgery, and they will only confide in other health professionals??

[DanaInNewOrleans 513]

Everyone of my medical professionals -- Primary, Neuro(multiple sclerosis), Rheum(lupus) and Endo (thyroid cancer) were very encouraging and positive about the surgery. Even my previous internist was very encouraging about it, telling me his patients that have had the surgery have all done beautifully with great results.

What are your docs' concerns? Seems so odd that ALL of them are against it.

[No game 14,436]

This scares me.

Is there something wrong with this surgery' date=' and they will only confide in other health professionals??[/quote']

there is more to this story than doctors with inside info...

I think medications and going back and forth about whether she wants it or not comes into play here.

Please don't read to much into her personal story.

[Mastiff_mama 171]

there is more to this story than doctors with inside info...

I think medications and going back and forth about whether she wants it or not comes into play here.

Please don't read to much into her personal story.

Also anyone can come on here and say anything or be anything....just sayin'

[No game 14,436]

Yeah your right about that!!

I'm nosy I read her past posts

[mbyers66 3]

I am going through a 6 month program and the pshyc dr told me to keep a journal not just for food but for thoughts and any fears or concerns and bring it in to the group sessions or with the nut when I see her. She said even if I thought it was silly to write it down and show them....they want to keep me as stress free as possible....stress keeps us from losing weight and she said they don't want that....she said over and over...we want you to be successful and informed in your decision. I have to say that made me feel so relaxed and confident in this journey.

[kscdvm 78]

My husband had his surgery before me since he had comorbidities and I had to do the six month plan. After a couple of months I saw what he was going through and thought I was doing well losing weight and maybe I didn't need the surgery. I came to realize that I was kidding myself. I've lost 90 lbs on my own before but couldn't maintain a lifestyle of eating only 1000 calories a day and exercising a couple of hours daily. Trigger foods would make me want to throw in the towel and start over the next day. My next day didn't come and I gained the weight back and then some.

When my husband was almost 6 months out, I had my surgery. He had lost 100 lbs and can eat almost anything but in small portions. I knew that surgery was the best chance I would have to free myself from the hold food had on me.

Now I am one of those people that is never hungry and I actually have to make an effort to get all my Protein in. It is such a relief both physically and emotionally.

[DanaInNewOrleans 513]

My husband had his surgery before me since he had comorbidities and I had to do the six month plan. After a couple of months I saw what he was going through and thought I was doing well losing weight and maybe I didn't need the surgery. I came to realize that I was kidding myself. I've lost 90 lbs on my own before but couldn't maintain a lifestyle of eating only 1000 calories a day and exercising a couple of hours daily. Trigger foods would make me want to throw in the towel and start over the next day. My next day didn't come and I gained the weight back and then some.

When my husband was almost 6 months out, I had my surgery. He had lost 100 lbs and can eat almost anything but in small portions. I knew that surgery was the best chance I would have to free myself from the hold food had on me.

Now I am one of those people that is never hungry and I actually have to make an effort to get all my Protein in. It is such a relief both physically and emotionally.

That has been my philosophy from the moment I decided to do this. I wanted freedom -- freedom from the endless diets, gain lose, gain lose gain. I wanted freedom from having my psyche consumed by being fat, freedom from the pressure of being on diet and not seeing results, freedom of self loathing .... I just wanted to be "normal" and all that it means.... and one of those things is not being on a "diet" every moment of my life.... eating whatever I want (within reason of course) but just in much much smaller portions represents freedom to me.

[Tricie5683 6]

I don't have a full support system for my surgery right now. Out of 5 siblings, only 2 support me. My own daughter is even against it. I meet the surgeon on 2/26 and he will give me my date then but now I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being like this but I would like the full support of my family also.

[mark! 449]

I think everyone of us who have gone this far have had struggles with the mind playing tricks on us, trying to psyche us out and get us to quit. It's the inner fat kid screaming "I STILL WANT MY MOTHER F#$%ING ICECREAM AND PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!" Ignore them. What YOU need to do, is sit down and read the good, and the bad statistics. Don't always listed to what someone says on a public forum that can harbor those of ill intent. Maybe they did have the procedure, and they didn't do what they were supposed to do and it failed, or they failed rather, but DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. Everyone going around spreading rays of sunshine also, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. Block everything out. Take a weekend, or a day or so, plop your butt in a comfy chair in your PJs and go through medical stats regarding complications, mortality rates, difficulties, etc and then go through the amount of weight lost by patients, increased function, increased length of life, etc. You will undergo numerous appointments, have crazy strict restrictions on diet, and have to deal with all of the stress of those in you family who do not support this decision.

One factor I have learned to key in, are the family members skinny: They don't know my struggles. Are they over weight and aren't seeking professional health whether surgery wise, or medically: They don't realize their issue or don't have the courage and such to get it taken care of.

There are complications, there will be days you want to kick your dog just because it's the closest thing you can inflict physical pain on, and there will be days you'll be cussing us for saying "it's worth it". But, dear, in reality, ask yourself, is the condition your in right now, worth it? Believe me, I've waged a holy war upon myself with that question. I could stay fat and happy, literally, right now, and die early, potentially of a massive heart attack in 10 years at the age of 38, or sooner, it happens all the time. As an EMT, and now in law enforcement, we see individuals all the time on medical calls that are morbidly obese and don't take care of themselves who just don't wake up. It's a gruesome thought, but it's true.

I personally came to the conclusion that I needed this. I wanted to live my life, I wanted to be around for my children and do everything I can to get where I need to be. If, like me, you've tried every diet from a-z and 1-100, and failed at it for one reason or another, you know how it feels. Going through things, failing them, feeling like a failure, then eating more, it's a vicious cycle, a deadly cycle. I've gone back and forth, weighed every option, done the math and calculated the risks. With my family history, there is a large chance I will get diabetes like my mother, my grand mother, her mother, her mother, etc, etc. There is a chance I'll have Congestive Heart Failure like my mother, her mother, and her mother. So far, I've been lucky, extremely lucky. My older brother is taking the path of my past relatives. I see him struggle, leg sores, pain everywhere, can't walk far, etc. I'm 28, active, I work out religiously, I know a thing or two about nutrition, and I know what commitment is, and I'm a failure at dieting. Even when strict, I don't lose. It's a medical problem to a certain extent. My thyroid is royally in the shitter, my metabolism is f%$ked beyond belief, this is my chance. This is all of ours. But you have to seize it and make it work. You HAVE to do what is said regardless of what others around you say. I'm grateful for others encouragement and love, but you have to find that internal motivation. You have to rely on your self to get what you need as far as positive reassurance. We're all here, but we can't change or alter your mental ramblings or the war going on in your head. If it helps, I'll give you my cell phone number, my email, and we can form a support group, but it's not going to help what goes on in your mind. Find a peaceful place, and just think with your self about what it is you seek in life, and are your goals attainable through diet and exercise alone. I hope things get easier for you, for all of you that struggle with family support. It's tough, but sometimes you just have to look out for numero uno, yourself, and get your life back.

[Lyrakl 15]

I was in the same position as you. I explained to my mom how I really thought this would help me with my future and how much pain and depression I was in now, and she became a full supporter. My dad was still "No no no no, absolutely not!" But he eventually came around. My surgery is on Tuesday the 19th, and this weekend I'm totally freaking out and having second thoughts, and both of them are telling me it's going to be fine and all over soon and not letting me back out.

I think you should first really come up with how you know this surgery is going to help you have a better future. Then sit down and talk with them, and just stick to your plan. It may take them a little while to come around, but hopefully when they see how determined you are, and how serious, they will begin to support you.

[DanaInNewOrleans 513]

I think everyone of us who have gone this far have had struggles with the mind playing tricks on us, trying to psyche us out and get us to quit. It's the inner fat kid screaming "I STILL WANT MY MOTHER F#$%ING ICECREAM AND PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!" Ignore them. What YOU need to do, is sit down and read the good, and the bad statistics. Don't always listed to what someone says on a public forum that can harbor those of ill intent. Maybe they did have the procedure, and they didn't do what they were supposed to do and it failed, or they failed rather, but DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. Everyone going around spreading rays of sunshine also, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. Block everything out. Take a weekend, or a day or so, plop your butt in a comfy chair in your PJs and go through medical stats regarding complications, mortality rates, difficulties, etc and then go through the amount of weight lost by patients, increased function, increased length of life, etc. You will undergo numerous appointments, have crazy strict restrictions on diet, and have to deal with all of the stress of those in you family who do not support this decision.

One factor I have learned to key in, are the family members skinny: They don't know my struggles. Are they over weight and aren't seeking professional health whether surgery wise, or medically: They don't realize their issue or don't have the courage and such to get it taken care of.

There are complications, there will be days you want to kick your dog just because it's the closest thing you can inflict physical pain on, and there will be days you'll be cussing us for saying "it's worth it". But, dear, in reality, ask yourself, is the condition your in right now, worth it? Believe me, I've waged a holy war upon myself with that question. I could stay fat and happy, literally, right now, and die early, potentially of a massive heart attack in 10 years at the age of 38, or sooner, it happens all the time. As an EMT, and now in law enforcement, we see individuals all the time on medical calls that are morbidly obese and don't take care of themselves who just don't wake up. It's a gruesome thought, but it's true.

I personally came to the conclusion that I needed this. I wanted to live my life, I wanted to be around for my children and do everything I can to get where I need to be. If, like me, you've tried every diet from a-z and 1-100, and failed at it for one reason or another, you know how it feels. Going through things, failing them, feeling like a failure, then eating more, it's a vicious cycle, a deadly cycle. I've gone back and forth, weighed every option, done the math and calculated the risks. With my family history, there is a large chance I will get diabetes like my mother, my grand mother, her mother, her mother, etc, etc. There is a chance I'll have Congestive Heart Failure like my mother, her mother, and her mother. So far, I've been lucky, extremely lucky. My older brother is taking the path of my past relatives. I see him struggle, leg sores, pain everywhere, can't walk far, etc. I'm 28, active, I work out religiously, I know a thing or two about nutrition, and I know what commitment is, and I'm a failure at dieting. Even when strict, I don't lose. It's a medical problem to a certain extent. My thyroid is royally in the shitter, my metabolism is f%$ked beyond belief, this is my chance. This is all of ours. But you have to seize it and make it work. You HAVE to do what is said regardless of what others around you say. I'm grateful for others encouragement and love, but you have to find that internal motivation. You have to rely on your self to get what you need as far as positive reassurance. We're all here, but we can't change or alter your mental ramblings or the war going on in your head. If it helps, I'll give you my cell phone number, my email, and we can form a support group, but it's not going to help what goes on in your mind. Find a peaceful place, and just think with your self about what it is you seek in life, and are your goals attainable through diet and exercise alone. I hope things get easier for you, for all of you that struggle with family support. It's tough, but sometimes you just have to look out for numero uno, yourself, and get your life back.

Mark, I think this post should be shown to every person that comes to VST because they are considering the surgery. Great great post!

PS...I feel your pain about metabolism and thyroid being f@%#$&.....I had thyroid cancer and had my thyroid removed. From that year forward I slowly gained weight even though I was following a low carb lifestyle. I tried Weight Watchers because I thought, ok maybe my body has gotten immune to the low carb thing. I gained weight on WW eating 1200 calories a day. That is what finally pushed me to this surgery.

[Rycherchick 147]

I had mine Jan 30 and I can tell you, i was terrified. I had the same fears. At first my mom was reluctant but I didnt care Im 48 lol. She came with me to hosp along with my dad and my Doc explained it all. She was way better. Im glad I did it 99 %of the time cuz ive lost a decent amt right now but i struggle cuz i wanna eat. Make sure your head is right too. Good luck you will be fine

[rudy118 2]

I know how you feel. My mother is totally against me having the surgery. I need to focus in the positive things and talk to positive people who support me. I am scared of the after effects but I still think its worth it in the long run.