I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Denise you have come such a long way, and I'm so proud of you! I think it was a confidence thing for you and girl, it seems you've got it! Whoo Hooo! I'm really happy for you!!!

Things are still great here. I am all moved in and we just got two kittens who are adorable. I'm far from being unpacked, but I have a feeling that is going to take a while. lol.

Crispy is always so good when you check in. It's so great that you found the right guy after realizing the others weren't what you wanted. So many other women would have been happy just to have a guy in their life and "settled"

Hey both of us met our guys on Match!

Welcome aboard Kris! Living in bandland is the greatest thing. I just told my new guy about the band and it was nice to get that out of the way.

Hope you stick around here. We are all pretty supportive of each other.

Hello single bandsters, I have given advice to people on this tread and I know I have answered this question for others but now it is my turn! I need some of the same advice. I am going on a first date this weekend which is also the first date since surgery. He has left it up to me what we should do and would like to get to know him better before I tell him about my surgery. With that said, I am going on week 7 and do not want to mess up my diet with food or alcohol. Any suggestions for having a first date without spilling the beans and without ruining my diet??? Thanks

rugrats,

go for something like a movie, kayaking, hang out in the park, just grab a coffee somewhere, there are plenty of non food centric options out there that would not make your meeting awkward nor require you to tell him about surgery if you do not wish to.

I just told my new BF and he was just great about it. When I have been on dates that involved food, I said I had a late lunch and ordered soup to play it safe. grilled fish is always a good option too.

Have fun on your date! I agree with Tara. There are so many things you can do that don't involve food. We go hiking/walking in the park all the time.

Edited June 18, 200818 yr by Oregondaisy

as for me im just putting all the attention on me, and my kids i have been happily blessed divorced since 2003 and dated one time last year for a year when he found out i was having surgery he started to change late for dates, less calling, then have the nerve to tell me i might leave him for a nother man ( younger) so i told him why wait til then since he felt that way let drop this thing now before some ones heart get broke if there no trust and faith by now then hey why waiste my time as well as yours he looked like a kid being told NO CANDY! so dont ask..lol oh well now he calls wants to know how im doing everytime he call i say im doing great still dropin those pounds! and i make sure "i gotta go" every time he calls if we dont take time to study our selfs and watch us who will? were we are today are due to the choices we made yesterday! keep up the good work ladys and god bless all

Hello Single Bandsters. Thanks for the advice about my upcoming date within the past week. I really appreciate it.

Well I ended up going out for dinner last night and it went really well. I bit the bullet and told him and he was totally fine with it! So he understood why I ate 3 oz of chicken and was done. At least it takes a while to eat so they don't feel like they are eating all by them self. I was really happy about his reaction. He told me that it is great to do whatever makes me happy and I shouldn't care about what other people think. True! After thinking about it too - what guy is going to hate the fate that the person they are out with is just going to look even better! Sounds good to me. All in all we had a great time and have plans to go out again Sat! Ya!

I did have 3/4 of a glass of wine last night after dinner and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am a cheap date! How long after surgery did everyone wait to have a glass of wine? Glad to know that is all I need and do not plan on doing it all the time. Thanks, KIM

Kim,

I am so glad that your date went well!! It's true, if someone will judge you poorly for your decision to aid your health then it begs the question do you really want them as a part of your life at all. I had a glass of wine about 6 weeks post op but sipped it over a long period of the evening, I for sure would not have drank any more than that though as I could feel it for sure, I guess it makes me a cheap date too!

I told my new BF too and he said he was impressed that I cared enough about my health to do something like that. Guys are usually supportive, I have found out from the other single gals on here.

So Denise, I'm just checking in to see how things are going with the new man???????

Chrispy, I am so excited! He is definitely the man I have been waiting for. We have seen each other every day since the day we met one month ago.

I went to a wedding last weekend with him and met his entire family. I really had fun at the wedding. This past weekend we went camping with my kids. My DD and SIL have a really nice boat. We had a blast!

Things are going so great! He said he has never been this happy, and I can say I haven't been this happy in many years!

How are things with you?

Oh Denise I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy to hear this!! I know there were times you were discouraged - I'm glad you stuck it out and found a great guy!

Things are great here, and I am so happy! I'm all moved in and taking over the decorating duties. lol. Curtis is definitely my best friend and the love of my life. You might meet some sketchy people from Match, but we're proof that if you stick it out you can find a good catch! Congrats Denise! :thumbup:

Yeah, I had some pretty horrible first meetings with other people.

I know that Bill and I wouldn't have hit it off it weren't for the band. He is really into fitness. The band has really changed my life in so many ways!

I am really glad to hear things are still going great with you. I know you want to start a family someday.

Hi everyone, just wanted to say I'm single and new. Just had my psych eval and nutrition consult. Seeing my surgeon on the 15th and looking forward to my surgery soon after. A graduation gift to myself. So, hello, and if anyone is from Las Vegas, drop me a line! :redface:

Well I'm single again. The guy I was dating for 2 months works too much for my liking and we live an hour from each other so it was just too hard for us to see each other. It was mutual and I'm back on singlesnet and plenty of fish. We'll see what happens....