I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

We went to the movies and had yet another wonderful date. He doesn't seem like a guy I would normally date. He has tattoos and just not someone I thought I would find attractive but there's something about him that I love. I think mostly it's that he's so respectful and such a gentleman.

How's everyone else doing?

I couldn't be doing better. I am crazy about my new man and he says he feels the same way. We have only been together two months, but I really

can't imagine life without him.

I am glad Missy, that things are going well for you too!

Thanks, I can see this growing into something very new and exciting for me.

Best of luck to you two.

This is how it all begins ladies! And here I am almost a year out with my sweetie and I couldn't be happier!

It's very exciting. I haven't been this happy in years!

I am glad to hear you're so happy too Chrispy! You two haven't discussed

getting married? I know you want kids.

Keep us posted Missy!

Marriage and kids were something we discussed when we first started dating because I wanted to make sure he wanted the same things I did. I also confirmed with him before I moved in that co-habitating wouldn't change anything. lol. I don't know, I guess now that I'm older I'm ok with cutting through the bullcrap. We talk a lot about our future, and this house with a kid in it, and I truly believe that we will end up married. My friends think he'll propose in October (our one year) but I think this time next year is probably when it will happen. Don't ask me why, it's just my gut feeling.

Well I am glad to hear you both want the same things. You two do need time to yourselves before kids are in the mix so it's great you're taking things slowly. As long as you're both happy, you're moving in the right directions! Yay!

That's the thing too Denise, I am enjoying where we're at so much, I don't want to rush through all these great things. I want to enjoy living together, getting engaged, and then the marriage. I have waited so long to meet such a wonderful guy, but once I did all my fears about running out of time have settled. I feel like I can just "be" and enjoy the moment!

Denise, I'm so happy things are going well for you still. :mad2: I knew you would find a good egg if you stuck with it.

I am a single bandster 32 yrs old no kids and can't wait to meet someone special banded on 6-30-08.I wonder do anyone get the guys that say they want to be friend but w/benifits .I realize that is not what i'm looking for these days i want to meet someone that want me for me and a real relationship.Where are those men these days?

It's so hard to get out and date again feel like i forgot how Haha

Just join a dating site and say what you are looking for. that is what

Chrispy and I did, and we both met the man of our dreams!

Well Raymond and I have been hanging out everyday except for Saturday because I had a wedding to go to. He makes me so happy and this is the happiest I think I've ever been. Finally someone who wants to spend time with me and make time for me. Someone who is fun and romantic at the same time. We both have deleted our singlesnet account and I can see this going somewhere.

missy congratulations!! it's funny who we end up with, since N is totally conservative and I'm the one with the tattoo's and piercings, but I couldn't imagine anyone better. I hope things work out for you guys since you sound so happy. I am making engagement chicken for dinner for us to start the process, I know we have only been together a short time, but this is just right and when your of the older ages such as us (he's 41 in a couple of months) there's no time to be wasting, this is the person I will be with, as I mentioned previously I understand now why all the others didn't work out and I feel like I can stop holding my breath.

I have 3.5-5 years left to have a child (it is something I want badly) and want to be able to have time just us before having one but the years are running down so I have to be proactive and I won't have one being unmarried ( call it being raised in a conservative quebecois home). Chrispy and Denise, so happy that everything seems to be working out for all of us, in the forever kind of way.

Now Minnimouse, you are better than a friends with benefits kind of deal, because really if they are going to use you for that than they are really not any kind of friend at all, I'm sure some people are ok with that and I don't mean to offend but those situations never work out well and it's usually the female that ends up heart broken and attached, I feel that people take physical love not seriously enough and what happens when it ends, you end up losing a piece of yourself cause you leave it behind. I'm hardly perfect but in this relationship I told N that we were waiting no discussion and he has not bugged about it and just let things happen when they do, there's no need to rush into it when your looking at forever (cheesy sounding I know and if you all knew me in real life I am the least cheesy person you'll ever meet but it's true) So the thing is in black and white, friends with benefits is "your good enough to have sex with (pretty much in secret) but your not good enough to be the girlfriend and meet the friends and family and be a part of the everyday life" I think not, no one will show you anymore respect than you show yourself, I get so worked up about this because I have a friend who does this to herself all the time and I can't stand that she does not love herself enough to say thanks but no thanks.

The end of my story today.

I never believed it when people kept telling me that I would find someone too.I got really discouraged because I kept meeting nothing but losers.

then I would meet someone I really liked but they weren't interested in me. I was so excited when I met Bill but I was really afraid he didn't feel the same way, because that's how it had always been.

He let me know pretty quickly that he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me and our relationship just keeps getting better.

So now I am a believer. There is someone for everyone. It helps losing the weight so that you feel like you can put yourself out there. I didn't even want to try until I felt good enough about myself.

Oh ya losing the weight definately helps. He's so sweet. He constantly calls me beautiful and treats me so great.

Bill calls me his Greek Goddess. I am Greek and I think that is really sweet too. I don't know if I am a goddess, but it's nice that he thinks I am!