I totally did something stupid today and allowed myself to try and get into a binge mode. I didn't get much down and ended up with the slimes AND throwing up. Now I have horrible heartburn and cramping... Jeeze what a way to retrain the brain. For now... OMG ow!

Scary part is I know my trigger right away... People have been pointing out my weight loss everywhere even people that I don't see that often and I don't like it.

Isn't that weird!! I don't like it either and I don't know why?

( the people noticing and commenting part)

Yeah I know, I don't really know why either. I kinda like the anonymity that comes with being overweight.

I was talking about that today! The last time I lost weight. At a class I had, the speaker was really cute all the young girls loved him long story short he came and spoke to me after! I still don't know why, but anyways he asked me out. it was a no, I'm married. The thing is when I came home I binged like I never have before. I knew then I had a problem!

It's a double edged sword. It's to be noticed and recognized for the weight loss efforts on the one hand but on the other hand, I am still the same person I was before. I remember after having lost 100 pounds in my 20's, getting a ton of attention and feeling so angry about it because of how sad it felt that nobody would give me the time of day before when i was fat. It's really pathetic that society puts so much emphasis on looking perfectly to the point that people feel more comfortable talking to skinnier people, that it's easier to get a job or promoted when you are thinner, etc..... We are the same person inside whether we are fat or skinny and our worth should be the same but society places to much value on our external selves.

I know there is so much more to weight gains than just food addiction. I wonder sometimes if I've gained weight to "test" relationships that I have, Push people away...

I don't get this at all. Ones here go to great lengths to loose weight .....then you don't like it when people notice??? I'm not being offensive I just don't understand this kind of mental thinking. When I get sleeved I will be happy that people notice a slimmer me. I won't be bothered by it. I just don't get it. What's going to make you all happy??? That is a serious Serious question.

Well it might because of shyness, trauma in the past. Or just not used to being not noticed, judged. As a woman you are judged everyday by your looks maybe more so when your smaller, Hell Maybe it's a girl thing... I don't know.

Years ago I lived across the street from my office I would walk everyday across the crosswalk to work, on any given day I would have some man yell his comments. Sometimes it was a whistle sometimes it was mean, like once a man barked like a dog. After awhile I started driving to work.

Sometimes it's just uncomfortable to have people judge/ comment even if its nice

Sorry I took over this thread... Quietly walking away now

I didn't actually want to lose weight, I wanted to be healthier. It was never about looks for me and as a matter of fact in my psych eval I told her how petrified I was about losing weight because it meant I had to start confronting the issues behind the desire to be invisible. At my heaviest I am also my most confidant and to be able to go through life doing my thing without people commenting on my appearance at all is preferred. The psych thought it wouldn't be as big of an issue as I may have been anticipating but I think time is telling how wrong she is.

See snap, all sorts of reasons...

And I must also put out there I am happy maybe not every second of the day deliriously so, but happy

And now I'm really walking away!!

I don't get this at all. Ones here go to great lengths to loose weight .....then you don't like it when people notice??? I'm not being offensive I just don't understand this kind of mental thinking. When I get sleeved I will be happy that people notice a slimmer me. I won't be bothered by it. I just don't get it. What's going to make you all happy??? That is a serious Serious question.

No doubt that not being fat feels better, which is why I had this surgery. I want to be healthy and do things I couldn't do before. I can't explain any more than what I said above about it feeling slightly insulting that some people wouldn't give me the time of day for a conversation while fat but skinny, it's all of a sudden fine. Same person intellectually and emotionally within, just different body. I think we all just want to be accepted no matter what for who we are. I suggest keeping this dialogue in the back of your mind a year from now and reflect to see if you've had these feelings too. I don't know if it's different for men vs. women.

I do think a lot of it is that idea of some people (women mainly) using their fat as a sort of shield or cover-up from the outside world...I know that my goal is not to stand out in any way...I feel like being very overweight I stand out for that reason, but I also don't like it when I lose weight and people mention it even complimentary--as contrary to common sense as that might seem...with me, it has to do with some past history as well...when I was in my 20s, I lost a great deal of weight over a year's time and was for the first time in my life at a "normal" weight...at that time, I didn't really mind when people I hadn't seen in a while noticed...but--like the cliche--I eventually gained the weight back and more...now when I lose any weight at all and people mention it, I can't help but wonder if they are thinking "she'll probably gain it all back and more"...I know that is pessimistic and can become self-defeating, but it is what I feel

I don't get this at all. Ones here go to great lengths to loose weight .....then you don't like it when people notice??? I'm not being offensive I just don't understand this kind of mental thinking. When I get sleeved I will be happy that people notice a slimmer me. I won't be bothered by it. I just don't get it. What's going to make you all happy??? That is a serious Serious question.

definitely a Mars versus Venus thing. The "oh you look great" can feel like "did I look like crap before?". I have always hated it too when the gossips at work would be like did you see so and so, they are gaining weight / getting fat... Like who cares, I am the same person no matter what weight I am at and although the compliments are nice, for me I feel like what are they going to say if I gain 5 lbs? For some people it is just hard to accept compliments for a 1,000,000 reasons...I could go on...

To say that a obese person is the "same person" is up to perception. Being an obese man "I am not the same person " as I was at "normal healthy weight. I can't do the things I used to. I don't have some kinds of confidence I used to. I don't think about myself likevi used to because "I'm obese ". Obesity is life threatening and a major contribution to premature death. Most people know this. Therefore the recognition of being more healthy. Since people don't have your health docs to refer to why not take the compliment of recognition of better health rather than judge others for kind comments about your weight loss. It's a mental perception that I feel many here ontthis thread should reconsider as "bothersome " than recognition of better health. (Of course I would not be referring to rude sexist comments of a negative nature)

Again, I'm not here to be negative. I am trying to understand why ones would be bothered by the recognition of looking and BEING a more healthy human.

Snaproll,

I myself, feel the same way alot of the other ladies do here. I have lost almost 70 lbs and have been bombarded by people stopping me asking "have I been loosing weight?", "How great I look". I think what is alarming is that it is overwhelming to us. Here we were invisible before and all of a sudden you have all of this attention that you didn't have before. And for me, I don't know how to handle it. It's been a very long time since I have received a compliment from anyone about the way I look. Women do that this personally. I have gotten used to not having this attention all of these years and then all of a sudden people are going out of their way to stop and talk to you. It has taken me 3 months to get used to how to handle the sleeve and get used to the sleeve lifestyle. That is overwhelming enough and then to add the pressure of everyone talking about it. I think that once I am further out, the comments won't bother me as much anymore because I will hopefully start getting used to all of this. I just know that this is the one part that the doctor's and nutritionist's don't prepare people for. And yes it is all mental. I think that goes to show how badly overweight people put themselves down. At least I did. I definitely have a better self esteem since I have lost some weight.

I hope I didn't say anything offensive, that is not my intention here. I am just trying to help Snaproll understand why we feel the way that we do.

Snaproll,

I myself, feel the same way alot of the other ladies do here. I have lost almost 70 lbs and have been bombarded by people stopping me asking "have I been loosing weight?", "How great I look". I think what is alarming is that it is overwhelming to us. Here we were invisible before and all of a sudden you have all of this attention that you didn't have before. And for me, I don't know how to handle it. It's been a very long time since I have received a compliment from anyone about the way I look. Women do that this personally. I have gotten used to not having this attention all of these years and then all of a sudden people are going out of their way to stop and talk to you. It has taken me 3 months to get used to how to handle the sleeve and get used to the sleeve lifestyle. That is overwhelming enough and then to add the pressure of everyone talking about it. I think that once I am further out, the comments won't bother me as much anymore because I will hopefully start getting used to all of this. I just know that this is the one part that the doctor's and nutritionist's don't prepare people for. And yes it is all mental. I think that goes to show how badly overweight people put themselves down. At least I did. I definitely have a better self esteem since I have lost some weight.

I hope I didn't say anything offensive, that is not my intention here. I am just trying to help Snaproll understand why we feel the way that we do.

Seems lime a good enough answer for me :)