As always, parents will knock you down and out....they akways have their thumb pressed right on you!

OK, let's tone the poo flinging down a little on this thread, please.

Melanie, as been pointed out it is YOUR decision. Unless your parent are paying for it, or providing the insurance then it again is up to YOU to heed their advice or not.

We all wish the best for you no matter what decision you make.

This is why we love Rootman!

Rootman is very wise, and I agree, take the personal attacks out of it. We are a support forum, anyone considering weight loss surgery, who has had weight loss surgery, is struggling with their weight, etc. is more than welcome to post on our forums. Remember our rules about being polite, especially paying attention to:

Members will treat each other with courtesy and respect, especially when they disagree. We understand that bright, intelligent and educated people may not always agree, but personal attacks in the form of insults, abusive language or other means of obvious harassment will not be tolerated.

- Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the user’s spelling or command of written English, or belittling a user for posting a duplicate topic.

- If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, you will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself or a friend is not an excuse! Do not take matters into your own hands – instead, use the Report Post link to report an attack and we will be happy to handle the situation for you.

My original plan had been to tell my parents right before the surgery was scheduled. That way I didn't have to deal with any of their negative thoughts and comments, which I was pretty sure they would have. Instead, I wound up telling my parents a few weeks ago. Basically, I said, "This is what I'm doing. Period. As my parents, I feel you have a right to know. But, I'm not asking for opinions on the matter. I'm asking for support and if you can't provide that, then I really don't want to hear anything at all." Surprisingly, they are being pretty supportive. To be honest, though, even if they hadn't been, it wouldn't have mattered to me. I'm doing this because I need to do what's best for me and my health. And if anyone doesn't like it, that's their problem, not mine.

I'm 35 years old and it never even occurred to me that I need anyone's blessing to have this surgery. My husband is supportive (thankfully), but even if he wasn't I would still have wls because I feel it is the best thing for me.

I don't have a surgery date yet (hopefully January), and I haven't officially even told my dad. I mentioned it to my step-mom so I'm sure she will tell him but I didn't ask for his opinion. My brother had VSG 2 years ago and my dad's opinion then "If you can stay on a liquid diet before and after surgery, why can't you just do that without surgery?" He definitely doesn't get it. But if this option had been around 30 years ago, maybe my mom would still be alive today. She died at 39 from cancer (25 years ago) - her only risk factor was morbid obesity. I don't want that to happen to me.

You really have to do your research and make an informed decision that is best for you. If you are young and/or rely on your parents financially, you may need them on board. If that's the case, share your research with them, have your doctor talk to them, etc. But don't give up if this is something you really feel is right for you.

wow what drama...

This is for you and no one else, make the best informed decision on what you want. Good luck!

Personally I didn't care what anyone else thought, because in the end I want to be healthy and don't want to be a burden on anyone. How about this, pull together some data and present it to your parents (Obesity vs. WLS the pros and cons). I would also add that you should make this choice not them.

Melanie, not to sound harsh, but, you are 40 years old. Why are you still letting your parents rule your life? I'm sure they are just concerned about what "could" happen.

But, let's look at what WILL happen if you don't do something to get your weight under control.

1. You will resent yourself for not taking the initiative to address the situation when you had the opportunity n

2. You will resent your parents for "dooming" you to an unhealthy life.

3. You will die sooner

4. You will not experience the fullness of life you can at a health weight

5. I'll leave the rest of this list to you. I'm sure you can add a few to it.

Hey O.T.R., I think you may have confused Melanie with Kitkat, the second poster

Hi Melanie,

I agree with everyone here (well, almost everyone). I am 33, have always, and still do sometimes, valued my parents' opinions even when I don't necessarily agree. They were the hardest people to tell but also the most important (other than my husband but he has been so supportive since Day 1). By the time I talked to them, I had been researching this for almost a year, had been well into my testing, and had even changed surgeons and changed from lap band to sleeve. I was so set on my decision that nobody could convince me otherwise. It was especially hard to tell my parents (and sisters) because they are in the medical field and are more aware of the risks.) My dad is a surgeon (orthopedic), my mom is a nurse, my sister is a doctor, and my other sister is a nurse. This made it that much more challenging in addition to their concern for me as a family member. My dad recommends the surgery to patients all the time so he knows the benefits, but I think it was different with his own, and youngest, daughter. But they eventually accepted that I am an adult, I made up my mind and it is my decision-for the most part. Even two days before this past Tuesday's surgery, my Mom saw that i had lost 20 pounds (14 from the pre-op liquid diet) and asked me if I was feeling I could do this in my own. But of course I can't do a liquid diet for the rest of my life. But she was very supportive in that she drove me to the hospital at 5 AM that morning, stayed most of the day, and was open-minded enough to become very impressed with my surgeon and the hospital. And last night when my parents came to visit, and saw how well it went and how well I am recovering, they admitted the relief now that it is over and are more at peace with my decision. They are actually happy for me. They were interested in everything, supportive of my new diet plan I was given, etc.

Which I had a feeling would happen and that is why I was so selective in who I would tell about my surgery and what I had done. I didn't want to hear other people's negativity and judgments. Now that it is over, I don't care so much who knows. It is over and regardless of anyone's opinions, you can't talk someone out of something that is already a done deal. Hopefully they will be happy for me, but if not, oh well.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I am happy to talk privately as well if you would like.

Caroline

My parents were concerned at first and Niw -60 pounds later -they are my biggest fans!

As always, parents will knock you down and out....they akways have their thumb pressed right on you!

Wait... what? You're going to let somebody else make this decision for you?

If you've been talked out of it then why waste our time posting here?

I think u should say sorry for whatu said I think it's good posting here .. She needs support and encouragement plus she needs a reminder of how healthier her life can be good luck on tryna decide it's really a choice u have to choose for yourself and no one else after all it's your life

As always' date=' parents will knock you down and out....they akways have their thumb pressed right on you![/quote']

Well ... Wasn't that convenient for you ...

If you look close, you'll find we're all being supportive in our own way. It's up to you to decide when to stop making excuses and start taking action, whether that be WLS or something else.

All I'm going to say is... this was the best decision I ever made for MYSELF!!!

Hey O.T.R.' date=' I think you may have confused Melanie with Kitkat, the second poster [/quote']

...im now even thinking about a moment about 25 years ago (when I was 15)...I was walking along a sidewalk...

I can see where you might think that. But above is a post by Melanie in another area. I added the 25 & 15 to get 40.

the reason i waited this long (had it done 2.5 wks ago) was because my mom said 'you have a son to raise!!!' suggesting that i was risking my life unnecessarily......well, i was risking my life before!!! best decision ever and now she is supportive.....i have lost 31 lbs and just started on my journey!!!! good luck! do whats best for YOU!!!