Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I am currently dating someone that I met a month after I had the surgery...she is really nice...real sweet. Buuuut I am not use to all this attention I am now getting...it feels soo good, I dont want to be in a commited relationship. I want to get out in enjoy the new me!! I never thought that I would feel this way before the surgery , I dont want to hurt the person I am with now... has anybody else been in this postion before and how did you handle it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think honesty is the only way to go. As long as she knows that you want to date others, she can make her own decision regarding whether she wants to continue seeing you. Just be sure you are not tossing aside the prize catch just to chase after a bunch of bait fish. LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sharon u said something then baby!! I dont have time for no catfish!!!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The grass always looks greener on the other side. If your happy with the one your with, see were it leads. No rush take your time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would personally take things slow. Let her know what you desire UP FRONT. But the flip side is that you can't be mad if she finds someone else either. :-) Just a chance you got to take. Make sure you are making the right decision, and stick by it! Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What about asking for a little break...There's nothing wrong with wanting to be single for a while.. Just don't be trifling, sneaky and lying about it... If you are meant to be together, no matter how much attention you get, weight you lose or other women you meet, NONE of it will compare to have her in your life... NONE of it...

Just be honest and tell her why.. She may be a little hurt, but I think she will see your point... Good luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am currently dating someone that I met a month after I had the surgery...she is really nice...real sweet. Buuuut I am not use to all this attention I am now getting...it feels soo good' date=' I dont want to be in a commited relationship. I want to get out in enjoy the new me!! I never thought that I would feel this way before the surgery , I dont want to hurt the person I am with now... has anybody else been in this postion before and how did you handle it?[/quote']

Be honest with her and tell her what you said here. You didn't know you'd find yourself wanting to explore the new slimmer you and all it brings to the table. She may stick around or she may jump ship.

My bf and I just broke up. I have had some offers but have no intentions on being in a serious relationship until I have lived the life I'm going to have with weight loss.

Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely normal to feel this way. Thus the many spouses who don't want their husbands/wives to have this surgery. It is especially hard if you've never been thin before.

Be honest but not cruel. What you don't say...now that I've got my sexy back, I want options including those that may look better than you. What you do say...you are not ready to be in a committed relationship (if that's the truth) but that you wouldn't mind still seeing her (also if the truth).

Do not, continue to be the same, saying you want something different. This is only going to confuse her and cause drama down the line. Give her the opportunity to make a choice to be with or without you. She may be fending off offers too.

Now I do have to say, give real thought to what Cami said above. If she was willing and even found you attractive before the weight loss, you know she is really into you. I've seen this happen with myself and a few friends, we lost the weight everyone wanted us, then over time, we realized it was mostly about how we looked and not who we were. Waste of time and relationships.

Take your time and enjoy your new life. Be honest and things will work themselves out one way or another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am currently dating someone that I met a month after I had the surgery...she is really nice...real sweet. Buuuut I am not use to all this attention I am now getting...it feels soo good' date=' I dont want to be in a commited relationship. I want to get out in enjoy the new me!! I never thought that I would feel this way before the surgery , I dont want to hurt the person I am with now... has anybody else been in this postion before and how did you handle it?[/quote']

Yes, I know what you mean. Getting flirts left and right out there going to the movies, shopping in the mall, walking on the trails, etc. I am happily married and mostly find this all amusing. Not getting noticed was one of my biggest pet peeves in my adult life and mostly find this amusing. It sure lifts my confidence as a man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×